NINE

She could hear footsteps in the hallway, and she knew Caelan was coming, she knew he was so close, she could feel it.

Her heart hammered against her chest so quickly and heavily, she felt like she was going to faint. Her wolf screamed with joy, and her body arched toward the door, toward his scent, toward him.

No, no, no.....

She was literally crying now, she hated this, she hated how quickly everything was happening, but her body didn't care.

The footsteps stopped outside her door, and the three sharp raps followed impatient.

"Sera."

His voice was rough, almost strained. He knew exactly what was happening in here. She could hear the effort it took for him to stay on the other side of that door and not barge in immediately.

She didn't answer, she couldn't, not when her throat was too tight and her breath too ragged.

"Sera." He said, louder this time. "I can smell you. Open the door."

Every instinct she had screamed at her to do it, to crawl across the floor, to throw the door open, to drag him inside and beg him to knot her until she couldn't walk.

But the logical part of her refused, the part that remembered the blood and the mud and the laughter, it begged her to hold on. She shut her eyes tightly as she recalled how he'd bit her, how her blood had been all over her body as she ran. She'd rather die than let him touch her.

"Go away." she whispered. "Leave me alone."

Her voice broke on the last word.

"You know I can't do that." His voice was tight. "You're in heat, perhaps a full one. If I leave you, you'll die, and it'll be slow and agonizing."

"I'd rather die." She cried. "Leave me alone."

"I'm coming in." Caelan said decisively. His tone told her he was done listening to her.

"No....."

The door opened, he stood in the doorway, backlit by the dim hallway lights, and Sera's wolf howled. She'd never been more alive in the past couple of years.

He was shirtless, she could see his chest from where she was, it was scarred and muscled, his skin was flushed with the effort of restraint. His hands were clenched at his sides, his jaw was tight.

And his eyes were completely red, the gold had been over powered by the red and all that remained was a primal alpha in need of knotting his mate.

"Don't touch me." She panted.

"I'm not going to touch you, Sera" he replied. "Not until you ask. But I'm not leaving."

Sera stared at him through the haze of her heat, she should hate him, she did hate him. But her body was crying, and he was the only thing that could make it stop.

The pain struck low in her belly and she groaned loudly as her toes curled in pain, it was too much. The thought of him leaving caused her wolf to wail so loudly in her head she had to clamp her ears shut.

"Stay," she whispered, knowing that was the only way she could get her to stop. "On....that side."

He nodded, and he came in and closed the door behind him quietly before moving to the other side of the room, his eyes never left her for a second.

Sera curled into a ball on the soaked sheets with her body trembling violently, her heat was still building, and her wolf still screaming.

His eyes tracked every movement she made, every tremble, every gasp. Every time she pressed her thighs together to ease the ache that wouldn't ease.

Sera tried to breathe, she tried to focus, tried to keep her mind fixed on why she hated him, and why she couldn't give in regardless of the consequences. But it was hard to hate him when her body was screaming for his touch.

The heat crested again.

She cried out as her back arched, her hands fisted in the sheets. Pleasure and pain ripped through her but it was utterly empty. Her body clenched around nothing, desperate for something to fill it, and she came with a sob again.

"Please," she whispered. "Please, I can't...."

She didn't know if she was begging him to help her or begging him to leave. Maybe both, all she knew was that she couldn't take anymore of the torture.

"I'm right here." His voice was tight, controlled. "I'm not going anywhere."

'Alpha.....'

Her wolf wailed, and Sera hated how much of a desperate slut she was. Caelan could hear her, he could hear her wails and her howls, he could hear her desperately calling him, but he shook his head.

"I won't touch you till you permit it." He said.

The heat intensified and Sera screamed, unable to stop herself, unable to take anymore.

"Touch me." She cried.

He paused, like he wasnt sure if she meant it.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, fuck!" She replied through gritted teeth.

"Are you?" His eyes met hers. "Or is the heat talking?"

She wanted to scream, she wanted to throw something at him. She wanted to crawl across the floor and climb into his lap and beg at the point, she'd lost her mind and will.

"I hate you," she cried. "I hate you so much."

"I know."

"But I need you." The words tore out of her. "I need you to make it stop. I can't.....I can't take it anymore."

He was out of the chair before she finished speaking.

He crossed the room in three strides, and then he was on the bed, and his hands were on her, and the relief was so intense she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

His hand pressed against her lower belly, right where the heat burned hottest. His palm was warm, and the pressure eased something inside her.

"Breathe," he said soothingly. "Just breathe."

She tried, she really did. But another wave hit, and she sobbed, her hips rocked against his hand, seeking friction he wasn't giving her.

"I can't...." she gasped. "I can't breathe."

"I know." His other hand cupped her face, tilting her chin up. "But I need you to listen to me first."

She forced her eyes open. His were still red, still feral, but there was something else beneath the hunger. Something that looked almost like concern.

"I'm going to help you," he said. "But I need you to understand something. When I touch you, it's not just sex. It's the bond. It's going to change things between us. I need you to want this. Not because your body needs it, but because you choose it."

She stared at him in disbelief.

"You're asking me to choose," she whispered. "After everything you did?"

"Yes."

"You destroyed me."

"I am sorry." Was all he could say.

"I hate you." She hissed.

"I know." His thumb brushed her cheek tenderly. "But I'd rather have your hatred and your consent than your body and your resentment."

She didn't understand him, she e would never understand him. The monster who'd bit her throat out was suddenly pretending to care about her.

But her body didn't care about understanding. Her body was burning.

"I choose this," she said. "I choose you, just for tonight. I'm not forgiving you, and i'm not forgetting. But I need...I need you."

"Fair enough." He said right before he kissed her.

It wasn't gentle, it was firce. His lips moved against hers impatiently, his tongue slid deep, and his hand finally moved between her thighs.

He tore her underwear off with one sharp tug, and then his fingers were inside her. Her eyes rolled behind her head.

"So wet." His voice was ragged. "So fucking wet. You've been suffering all night, haven't you?"

"Yes...."

"I'm sorry." He pressed his forehead to hers. "I'm sorry it took this long."

She didn't understand why he was apologizing, she didn't care. All she cared about was his fingers, sliding in and out of her, building pressure that was already too much and not nearly enough.

"More," she gasped. "I need more..."

"Shh." He kissed her throat, right over the scar. "I've got you."

He pulled his fingers out. She whimpered at the loss, but then he was on top of her, and his weight was heaven, and she could feel him; his cock, thick, hard and massive, pressing against her entrance.

He paused.

"Last chance," he said. "Tell me no, and I'll stop."

She looked up at the monster who'd destroyed her life, and she wished she had a choice, she wished she could fight this.

"I don't stop," she whispered.

He thrust into her.