Chapter 11: Not Ready Yet

HAILEY

No. I’m not okay. I’m broken. I want you so much, but I can’t take the final step.

Her breath came in short, harsh gasps. Her heart raced, and her body shook with fear. Slowly, her mind cleared, and she looked up at the man she wanted so badly. Jayden. He’d given her the most intense pleasure she’d ever felt, and she knew she’d made him feel good too, but she couldn’t give herself fully. She couldn’t fully give herself to anyone.

“I’m not ready, Jayden,” she said nervously. Waves of disappointment hit her, and she wrapped her arms around herself. The emotional pain was overwhelming.

He pulled her trembling, naked body into his lap. “Too soon after your ex-boyfriend?” He sounded both worried and frustrated.

He wrapped his arms around her, and she rested her head on his shoulder. “Yes.” The excuse wasn’t really true, but it worked. Tears ran down her cheeks, and she closed her eyes, her heart aching.

She had hoped.

She had wanted.

She had tried because it was Jayden, and she wanted him so damn much.

So far…she had come so far, so close…

“Hey.” He pulled her face up gently, holding her head in his hands so she would look at him. “It’s okay.” He wiped away her tears. “I can wait.”

Don’t wait. I’ll never be whole again. I thought I could, but I can’t. I can never give you what you want. If I can’t do this with you, I can’t do it with anyone.

“It’ll be a long wait,” she tried to warn him.

He lifted her up and carried her, holding her naked body close. Hailey wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the heat of his skin as he carried her up the stairs to her bedroom.

He pulled back the covers, laid her gently on the bed, and climbed in beside her. “Then just sleep with me.” He pulled the sheets over them, enclosing them in a cocoon where only they existed. He held her close, half on top of him.

“Yes.” All the tension left Hailey’s body as she breathed in his familiar scent. She was safe with Jayden. “Just for tonight.” She wanted to be close to him. He felt so good. Smelled so good. The comforting way his hands moved through her hair and across her back made her feel calm in a way she had never known.

“For now,” he corrected.

Hailey sighed and ran her fingers through his hair. They fell asleep like that, wrapped together, finding comfort in each other’s touch.

JAYDEN

She’d left. No note, no goodbye. Just gone, like she had never been there. Jayden sat in a soft leather seat on his private jet, angry because when he woke up, Hailey was already gone.

He hadn’t heard from any of her brothers, who would have flipped out if they saw his rental car at her house. Obviously, she had made sure they didn’t see it, probably walking to the end of her driveway when they picked her up that morning just to avoid it.

Eric’s jet had left hours before Jayden woke at noon. The empty space beside him confirmed what he already knew: Hailey was gone. Eric had said he’d leave by ten, and Jayden knew Hailey would be on that plane.

Fuck! She could’ve at least said goodbye.

He held the key he’d found on the kitchen table between his fingers, staring at it before putting it in his shirt pocket. He didn’t know if she had left it for him on purpose, but he’d used it to lock up before he left, and he was keeping it.

He’d give her time but he and Hailey weren’t done. He wouldn’t let it end. She could run…for now.

"I’m not ready."

Her words echoed in his mind. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t actually had sex. Just the memory of her lips on him, her mouth on his cock, had turned him upside down. Just being near her had eased the loneliness and restlessness that had haunted him for so long.

Last night had been a revelation. Looking back on all the meaningless relationships over the last eight years, since he first saw her again at her high school graduation, he knew one thing for certain: I’ve always been waiting for Hailey.

His anger faded, replaced by concern, as he remembered the night before. He remembered the broken look on her face when she said she wasn’t ready. He thought he saw a flash of fear in her eyes. Had he imagined it, or had she really been scared?