chapter 1

AVIANA POV

                               

Life has a funny way of giving us obstacles that we don't deserve. Obstacles that make us regret living. Obstacles that are suppose to give us learning experiences and strength, but that can also be suffocating and painful.

                               

My pain began the moment I was born. I was born a disgrace, a nobody, a life ruiner, a failure. Well thats what I  was told. I was told that everyday by my parents for 10 years. For those ten years, I endured all types of abuse in the hands of my parents. The parents that is suppose to love me. That is suppose to care for me, that I am suppose to be their greatest blessing, but only turned to be their BIGGEST MISTAKE.

                               

I have never felt love by them, but my grandmother, my superwoman, my hero, my strength, my everything. She found me at 10 years old. She was my fathers mother. She was beautiful, Silky black curly hair that hung down to the middle of her back, beautiful honey color skin, amazing hazel green eyes and she looked no older that 40 years old. She sent you a feeling of safety that you wanted to be with her, always making you smile even on your worse day.

                               

I never knew she existed. My father never talked about her, always said she disowned him because she didn't like the life he lived. I would do the same, who likes a druggie. My parents did every single drug you can think of and because of that, they are very abusive, mentally, physically and verbally. THEY HATED ME.

                               

Im going to tell you how my life changed a lot. Im going to tell you my story.

                               

IM AVIANA RAIN.

                               

*****************************************

                               

"Where is this girl at?" Ashley said.

                               

"I dont know, have you tried calling her?" Selina asked.

                               

She nodded before sighing, "I did on our way here and she said she was already here."

                               

"Nevermind, I found her over here" She said.

                               

"Standing next to the school fountain, reading her book, like always. Should of looked there first." Selena said while rolling her eyes.

                               

"Lets go!" Ashley said raising her arm so its lands around Selenas shoulders pulling her along toward me.

                               

Reading is my life, I would read all the time. It was the only thing that kept my mind right. The only thing I can relax to. Some perfer liquor or drug, I perfer books. Its my escape from this cold world. 

                               

As I'm reading, I hear my bestfriend Ashley scream my name, making me drop my book.

                               

"Are you serious? Im right here!" I glare at her after hearing the way she screamed my name in my ear.

                               

"Im sorry, I couldn't resist it" She laughed.

                               

While rollling my eyes, I pick up my book and dust it off. Making sure all the dirt is off of it and its not ruined. When I was sure it was fine, I placed it in my bag. I looked up and seen Ashley staring at me with a half smile. She stands about 5'6 and was beautiful with light chocolate color skin, her long black eyelashes laying perfectly over here bright brown eyes and curly black hair. Ashley was the adult of us, always making sure we don't get in trouble, but she was also laid back, and got serious when needed.

                               

"Im sorry Avi" she said.

I just roll my eye but as she starts talking, I see Selena next to her. She was beautiful also, with her red wavy long hair. Green eyes, small button nose that laid a few freckles.  She was the outgoing of us, always got invited to the coolest parties and VIP after parties. She had a crazy sense of style but always looked good in anything she put together.

                                           

As I was admiring my two beautiful best friends, I hear someone calling my name. "Aviana? Aviana did you hear me?" Selena said. I looked towards her and nodded my head saying yes. "Then what did I say" she said. "That you love me?" I spoke with a nervous chuckle. They both just laughed at me and shook their heads. I tend to space out a lot. Its a habit I been trying to break. Its just so hard.

"I asked what we are doing today birthday girl?" She said with a huge smile plastered on her face. Oh yea, I totally forgot it was my birthday. I stopped celebrating my birthday three years ago, right after my grandmother passed away. She died from cancer when I turned 20. She was diagnosed with leukemia when I was about 15. She fought for 5 years. She fought just for me.

As I remembered what Selena just asked me, I looked up and said "Nothing" with a serious look on my face. "What you mean nothing?" Selena said with a disgusting look at the words that came out my mouth. Ashley looked at me and said, "We doing something tonight so make sure you ready by 8PM. Actually we all meeting in your room at 7PM to get ready together" She said with her arms crossed and her eyebrows narrowed and looking at me. I simply rolled my eye.

Ashley and I have been friends for 13 years, I met her when I first moved in with my grandmother to Bakersfield, California at just ten years old. Her mother use to work for my grandmother doing housekeeping. She use to come to work with her mother and thats when I first met her. She was always a happy girl, came up to me wanting to be my friend. Then 5 years later at age 15, we went to this summer camp and met Selena. She was shy and quiet when we decided to introduce ourself, to find out she just moved to California from Canada. The rest is history and we have all been friends since then.

The three musketeers is what my grandmother use to call us. We all attend the same university and even lives in my grandmothers 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom, two story house. It was beautful, it was sandy yellow with white windows and a light blue door. A beautiful tall Japanese Blossom tree in our front yard. She left me everything when she died. 

"Hello? Birthday girl?" Ashley screams, with her face right in front of me.

"I really dont want to do nothing you guys" I said, with a shrug of my shoulders.

"To bad, I got us VIP in the new club that just opened last month. So this is the plan, we go home after class, take showers and get dress. I will be choosing our outfits for tonight and we are going to slay your makeup. Finally we are going to get shit faced drunk until we are choking on our own throw up," Selena said with the biggest smile plastered on her face.

"I guess, lets just get to class before our professors get on our ass" I yelled, just when the last bell rang loud through the school.

*********************************

As I am in the shower, my mind is running a 100 mile per hour. Im thinking of all the things that can go wrong with tonight. We can get kidnapped, roofed or anything. I might see someone I don't want to see. Someone who I'm running from. Someone I pray I never have to see again. With my mind running 100 mph, I hear a knock on the door. Let me rephrase that, not a knock, but a BANG.

"Hurry your ass up, we are already ready, we are just waiting for you now." Ashley yells through the door.

"Im coming, hold your panties," I said, rolling my eyes while I grab the towel that is sitting on the sink to my right. Stepping out the shower feeling a cold breeze hitting my stomach, making me shiver for a second, before I wrapped the towel around my body.

I get out the shower and look in the mirror, as I stare at my reflection, I start to think about how I wish I can look like someone else, someone more beautiful, someone more confident, someone thats NOT ME. As I add foundation to my face, after rubbing it in, I grab a beautiful rose gold eyeshadow putting some on my eyelids lightly. I put it back in my make-up bag and quickly did my eye liner and mascara. While I was doing my makeup, I was letting my hair curler get warm. I took out the bun that was in my hair while I took a shower. As I did that, my long curly charcoal color hair hangs to the middle of my back. I use my fingers to part it how I wanted it. Taking the brush in my hand, I brush the knots in my hair so it will be easier to curl. Taking piece by piece, I curl my hair, not to tight tho, I like my hair to look natural, wavy. I finish and look at myself and see someone, someone that I feel is not me.

I walk out the bathroom as I look at the outfit Selena picked for me, my eyes got wide. I hope she dont expect me to wear this. It was a little 2 piece that had a big bow in the middle of the top with a matching purse that looked like a huge bow tie. I yell selena name

"SELENNNNNA, I am not wearing this bullshit, pick me something else out right now!" I yelled out my door, knowing she would hear me, because I heard a loud ass groan escape her mouth from her room, which was right next to mine.

As she walks in, she hands me a beautiful red dress that has a V cut design in the middle. She then hands me some black heels with tiny little red bows on the back of the heel. "What is it with you and these red bows tonight," I said, but she just looked at me, rolled her eyes and walked out yelling "JUST HURRY UP", slamming my door shut.

As I get dressed and slide into this tight dressed that squeezed my insides, I loved it. I actually sat at the edge of my bed sliding my heels on and staring at myself in the mirror, I felt beautiful in the red dress. I felt confident. When I made my way down the stairs, I glance at my two bestfriends that I love with everything in me, I noticed something I didnt understand. WE WERE ALL WEARING RED. Ashley had on these tight black leather pants and this sparkling red crop top and matching boots with 6" heels. I make my way to look at Selena, She standing there with black and red heels, a black mini skirt and a red tight over the shoulder shirt, that gripped her skin stopping just above her belly button.

"Selena, do you mind explaining to me why we are all wearing red?" I glance at her with my arms crossed.

"Because 2 reasons, Its Valentines Day, plus I thought it would look amazing with all us matching" She replied.

I forgot to mention that my birthday is Valentines Day, another reason I hate celebrating my birthday.

"We look hot Aviana, now let's go because I'm ready to shake my ass, get drunk and have me a one-night-stand with a hot sugar daddy", Ashley yelled while walking out the front door to the cab that was outside waiting.

As we got into the card, I get this weird stomach feeling that something is going to happen, nothing bad, but a little weird and exciting.