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Past Is Past

[Crystal’s POV]

Stepping out of the operating room, I felt utterly exhausted. George was trailing behind me awaiting further instructions.  Removing my bloodied gown and gloves, I said, “After you transfer him to ICU, start the blood transfusion. Make sure to monitor his blood pressure and oxygen levels every half hour. Call me if—”

I froze as I saw a man striding towards me.

I know him. He was Rayan's father, Richard Parker.

“Doctor! H-how is he? How is my son?” he demanded.

 Internally sighing and wishing for this day to be over, I looked at him and informed, “The operation was a success. I suspect he will make a full recovery with proper rest.” Nodding towards George, I continued, “If you have any further questions, you can ask my assistant. You will have to excuse me now as I still have other patients to see.”

Almost jogging to my office, I felt my chest tighten as my heart began to throb in my chest. Plopping down into my desk chair, I leaned down and pressed my forehead against the coldness of my desk.

Before Mickhel could send me any more patients, I needed to calm down. My head was so muddled with questions. I heard my door click open and I didn’t even bother to see who it was so I kept searching for answers.

Why did his mother choose me to perform the operation? This hospital was full of capable doctors. Why me? Did she know who I was? Had Rayan told her about us? And how the hell did that idiot get a gunshot wound in the first place?

Questions kept racing across my mind. I groaned in frustration as I held my aching head.  If I had known the CEO was his mother, I would never have applied here! Someone cleared their throat and I remembered that a person had entered my office.

“I heard that our boss’s son just had an operation.”

Sighing in relief at hearing Alex’s voice, I sat up and looked at him with a sarcastic smile. “And... that surgery was entrusted to your best friend.”

He sat down in the chair in front of me with a wide grin. “Probably because she knows that you are the best surgeon that we have.”

I quirked up a brow and with a flat tone asked, “Do you know who her son is?”

 “Um, no. Should I?”

I pursed my lips and stood up. “I'll take you to see him tomorrow during my rounds. I’m going to call it a day. Could you handle the last couple of cases for me? Anne is alone and I’m about to pass out.”

 Alex followed me to the door. “Sure. I’ll walk you out first.”

“Why?” I said through gritted teeth. I was already tired mentally and emotionally, I just wanted to be alone. Alex’s hovering was starting to get on my nerves.

 He pouted his lips cutely. “I meant... can I?”

“No.”

“I’m just going to escort you to the parking lot, witch. Besides if you want me to take over the rest of your patients for the day, you won’t pitch such a hissy fit.”

Irritated, I huffed out the door and we made our way to the hospital entrance. Alex could be so overprotective. At times, it felt as if he was my older brother rather than my best friend.

“Mom!” Anne came running up to me. “I missed you,” she said while wrapping her tiny arms around my waist.

I chuckled and bent down to kiss her cheek. Caressing her soft cheek, I said, “I missed you way more, sweetheart.” Hearing her stomach growl, I frowned. “Have you not eaten?”

She puffed out her cheeks and crossed her arms. “I wanted to eat with you, mom.”

“Is that so? Well, first let’s go home and I’ll freshen up. Then just the two of us can go out to dinner. What do you think?”

Anne nodded enthusiastically and I couldn’t help letting out a small laugh. She was so adorable

We went to our favorite sandwich place for dinner and Anne told me all about her day at school. She gave me a play by play of her game and giggled while describing her coach’s face when they scored the winning point. Sitting there with her and talking about everyday things made me feel a thousand times better. My little princess. She was my ray of sunshine.

While we were getting ready for bed, she asked if she could sleep with me. I guessed that she sensed that I needed her cuddles. Considering the day that I just had, it was true. We were lying in bed for a few minutes before she turned over to look at me.

“Um, Mom? Uncle Alex told me that you never want to forget dad. Why don't you want to forget him? You told me that he doesn't love us.”

 My daughter gazed up at me with those familiar green eyes and my heart heaved with sadness. Why couldn’t I forget him? Shifting my eyes to look up at the ceiling, I let out a deep breath. Biting my lip, I felt a few silent tears spill from my eyes as I tried to come up with an answer. I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and smiled at her.

 “Because, love. He gave me you. You are the most precious gift that I have ever received. And sweetheart, I have told you many times that I was too mad at daddy to tell him about you. I’m truly sorry. But, don’t ever think that he wouldn’t or doesn’t love you. I’m sure that he would.”

I was absolutely horrible at these explanations and I felt even worse as I watched her little face scrunch up in confusion.

Wiping away my tears, she asked,  “Mom? Do you love still love dad?”

 Smiling at her gesture, I wrapped her in a hug and said, “Baby, mom is tired. Let’s go to sleep and we will talk more about this later, okay?”

 I didn’t know how to answer her as I didn’t even know the answer myself. Do I still love him? I know that I have missed him. But love? I really couldn’t say.

[Rayan's POV]

I squinted against the light coming through the blinds. Was it morning already? Feeling pressure on my hand, I looked over and saw my older sister sitting beside me. She had always been my favorite person in my miserable world. However, she had to move overseas after she got married last year. Oh, how I have missed her!

Trying to smile, I lightly squeezed her hand and said, “Hey there, Goldfish.”

She glared at me. “What were you thinking?! Are you some sort of superhero? You should have moved out of the way, stupid!”

 She gently tapped me on the arm in admonishment. I would have teased her some, but I felt so horribly weak.

 Worry marred her cute face as she asked, “How are you feeling?”

My gaze dropped to my stomach before looking back to my beloved sister.

“Fine, I’m just hungry. Being on a liquid diet is no fun. The saline is filling my tummy and tank, you know how I feel."

She chuckled. “Well, get better soon and I will make you some real food.”

"Ah.. well. Actually, now that I think about it, this liquid diet isn’t so bad,” I teased.

“Hey! I'm a great cook now, for your information. You will regret saying that. By the way—” She paused and gave me a sideways look. “Why aren’t you asking about mom and dad?”

“Do I need to? Mom and dad are probably busy with their work. Besides, I'm not a kid anymore. I don't need them here.”

Even though I did my best to sound indifferent, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad at their absence.

Lily shook her head, and gave me a sad smile. “Indeed you are a grown up man. You know why? You think you can't change anything and you have learned to give up a long ago. Yes, you are giving up on every single thing.”

Tears started to prick my eyes. I couldn’t deny what she said. Swallowing hard, I nodded. Yes, I gave up. There wasn’t a point to continue to try and make my parents understand. They never listened to me anyway. It was easier to just comply with their wishes. Lily was the only who truly cared about what I wanted. Seeing me defeated, Lily gently rubbed my hand. I truly had changed over the years, and it wasn’t for the better.

Shaking her head, she sighed and changed the subject. “I heard that the surgeon who performed your surgery is quite the looker.”

I shrugged my shoulders.  “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t met her yet.”

“Oh? Well, here is your chance.”

Getting up from her seat, she took a position about two feet away from my bed to allow room for the doctor to exam me. Curiously, I turned my head to the entrance but I didn’t see anyone. I threw Lily a hard glare.

“Are you seriously trying to prank me right now?”

She shook her head and kept her eyes fixed at the entrance.

Ugh, whatever.

I lifted my eyes to stare at the ceiling and after a few moments, I heard soft footsteps approaching my bed. I supposed Lily wasn’t joking after all. Turning my head to look at the person responsible for saving my life, my heart dropped to my stomach.

It was her. Intoxicating blue eyes, perfectly formed lips and small pointed nose could only belong to one woman. I felt my breathing hitch as I continued to stare at her. She was really here!

She was a doctor now. The last time when I saw her she was studying at Medical School. So, she made it. Well, of course she did! She was always brilliant. Wow, she achieved her dream to be a doctor.

Then the reality of the situation hit me and I couldn’t breathe as my head started throbbing. I clutched my bedsheets.

All were lies.

All of them lied to me. I had asked Mr. Joon repeatedly about her or if he knew where she was and he always gave me the same answer. That she had left the country. Hell, he even told me that she had gotten married! I let out a harsh laugh as my heart twisted in pain.

I’ll kill that bastard.

My throat felt thick with emotions and I couldn’t even speak to her. However, her vacant expression told me that she had already prepared herself before coming into my room.

 “His blood pressure is 90/50. He said the pain left after receiving the injection two hours ago,” said the nurse who handed her my file.

Glancing at my saline pack, she looked back down and flipped through my file. I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted, no, I needed to hear her voice. I have craved it for far too long.

“Crystal.” I softly uttered.

My eyes were fixated on her. I couldn’t believe she was standing in front of me. Gulping away the nervousness, I waited for her to answer me.

When she finished reading my file, she looked at me. There was nothing. No emotion, no gentle expression, not even a hint of happiness at seeing me again. The indifference in her eyes sent a chill through me. Staring harder at her, I desperately tried to find that spark in her eyes that she reserved for just me. I couldn’t. Had she truly moved on?

 “Should I be flattered that the heir, no, that the CEO of the Empire Group recalls my name after seven years?”

 Her calm voice felt like a blow to my chest. Whatever energy that I had incurred from my rest, drained from my face. I had missed her so damn much and she had no idea. Tears pooled in my eyes as the emotions of guilt and happiness washed over me.

“So, you’ve counted the years. Still not over me?” I asked, provoking her to talk to me some more.

Crystal's face turned pale. Glancing over at the nurse’s shocked expression, she rolled her eyes.

Just a little longer, please. I just want to hear your voice for a little longer.

She was about to respond to my ridiculous question when I heard a man’s voice.

“Rayan Parker.”

I experienced another shock. I knew this voice well. He came and stood beside Crystal. Judging by his expression, I’d bet he didn't expect to see me here either.

Wincing in pain as I let out a weak laugh, I asked, “Still hanging around, Alex?”

I felt my chest grow heavy again. Why was he always hanging around her?

I watched him sigh, as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Isn't that normal? We’ve always been together, ever since childhood.”

Intuitively, Lily came up beside of me and tightly held my hand which gave me some strength. After such a long time, I didn’t think that seeing her again would affect me this much. Jealousy roused in my heart as I watched the girl who I had loved so dearly stand next to the man whom I had always seen as my rival. Holding my sister’s hand tightly, I gave Lily an ironic smile.

Crystal glanced at Alex and then looked at me. “Actually, we're getting married.”

In that second, my world began to crumble. The room fell into silence and the ticking of the clock on the wall echoed in the room. Controlling my features, I inhaled a deep breath as I tried to get the air back into my lungs. My heart was hammering and I felt my eyes cloud for a second.

“Crystal we—” I saw her give Alex a sharp look that shut him up.

Pushing myself back into character, I smiled. “That's great. Congrats.”

It really was just like acting. Even if it was terrible, she wouldn’t know the difference. My words just came out mechanically, even though everything inside of me was screaming. I hated it.

 Crystal nodded. “Yes, it is. Thanks.”

Taking the pen, she scribbled down a few notes and then went over the instructions for my prescriptions. After she finished the routine check up, she turned to the nurse who still looked bewildered. I guess it was pretty shocking. Our relationship was never made public so this was probably new to everyone.

Pushing the clipboard into the nurse’s hands, she said, “Here are his transfer papers to the recovery ward. I have an operation scheduled for this afternoon. Tell George to meet me in twenty minutes.”

Obediently the nurse nodded as she collected herself. “Yes, doctor.”

Crystal took one glance at me and reached out to grab Alex’s hand. I watched as they left together and my body shook with anger, shock, and many other feelings that I couldn’t identify at that moment.

“So, you're okay with this?”

Lily turned several sheets of white as she watched everything that had just transpired. She was worried about me. Honestly, I was a little worried myself. But, I wasn’t going to burden her.

Keeping up with my act, I smiled at her and said, “Of course! She needs someone in her life. Past is past.”

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