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CHAPTER 36

Author: Ranacien
last update Last Updated: 2025-06-09 00:09:56

What we had just experienced was no trivial matter. Feeling him inside me was the most overwhelming thing I had ever imagined experiencing. Dreaming about distant situations is not the same as living them. And realizing in unison the reality we were building made the moment even heavier, if that were possible. Yet, the emotional hangover that might have surfaced after sleeping together, he dispelled with just a few direct words that turned my world upside down.

"Are you okay?" he asked first. I nodded, not wanting to speak.

"Okay." He pulled out of me and looked at me with a question in his eyes.

At first, I didn’t understand. If I wasn’t talking, how the hell was he supposed to know what he wanted to ask? He pressed his lower body against me, showing me, and I realized what he needed to know.

"Yes, I’m on the pill."

He nodded and walked naked to the bathroom. Lying on my side, I watched his body move across the wooden floor, still unable to believe it. Had I really just slept
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  • CROOKED: In love with my cousin's boyfriend   CHAPTER 37

    I didn’t leave that place with a clear head, nor with my guilt erased. What happened to me was proof of a misguided beginning, but nothing had ever felt more real. I arrived at my parents’ house and entered my room thinking about my future rejections—how they would only fuel the persistence of an anxious boy, how pushing him away would only make him cling to me tighter. I wasn’t foolish, but that didn’t mean I knew everything. In truth, I was new to this, prone to retracting my words and desires. My body held an emotion so vast it drowned out every kind of pain. Despite how divine that night had been, despite all the circumstances and all his words, despite finally succumbing to desire, I still felt the sting of mistake coursing through my veins. Nikko wrote to me twenty more times—texts, emails. He traveled to Braga searching for me in Mafalaia, in Circo, everywhere. My mother told me he spent a long time talking to them, and they noticed nothing strange about him. Still, I muste

  • CROOKED: In love with my cousin's boyfriend   CHAPTER 36

    What we had just experienced was no trivial matter. Feeling him inside me was the most overwhelming thing I had ever imagined experiencing. Dreaming about distant situations is not the same as living them. And realizing in unison the reality we were building made the moment even heavier, if that were possible. Yet, the emotional hangover that might have surfaced after sleeping together, he dispelled with just a few direct words that turned my world upside down. "Are you okay?" he asked first. I nodded, not wanting to speak. "Okay." He pulled out of me and looked at me with a question in his eyes. At first, I didn’t understand. If I wasn’t talking, how the hell was he supposed to know what he wanted to ask? He pressed his lower body against me, showing me, and I realized what he needed to know."Yes, I’m on the pill." He nodded and walked naked to the bathroom. Lying on my side, I watched his body move across the wooden floor, still unable to believe it. Had I really just slept

  • CROOKED: In love with my cousin's boyfriend   CHAPTER 35

    Still above me, he broke the kiss to look at me. His dark eyes (like the meaning of what was happening) locked onto mine. My body was no longer rigid, nor was I fighting against him. He cradled my head, and one thumb traveled to my cheek. “Why are you crying?” he whispered. I hadn’t even noticed the tears—ones I couldn’t wipe away myself. I was trapped beneath his body, my arms touching his. So, I let him do it. He took his time before speaking as he dried my face: “I don’t want to make you cry…” He left the words hanging, regretting whatever else he had momentarily considered adding. “Delu…” he breathed out reverently, exhaling hot air. He swallowed thickly and shook his head slightly. “You have no idea how long—how many times—I’ve wanted to be like this with you.” After hearing those words—a longing so much like my own—the tears flowed even more freely. All that was missing were sobs, but for some reason, the water ran light, like a sloping river, calm and without so many

  • CROOKED: In love with my cousin's boyfriend   CHAPTER 34

    "Because you’re not the kind who deceives," he exhaled, with a laugh that held no humor. "You wouldn’t do that to my cousin, or to anyone." He lowered his voice to a whisper: "Besides, I won’t participate in something like that, understand?" I was furious that he’d say all that to me, and I hesitated to accept staying there with him. My throat burned with tension. He watched me like a hunter cornering his prey with cunning. He just wanted me to make the decision. Who taught him to be like this? I fought hard not to cry. My palms pressed against his chest, I tried to push him away slightly. "I don’t know what makes you think I’d return to Nikko." He grabbed my wrists, stealing my breath. "Maël, let me go," I pleaded softly. My demand made him shift abruptly. I saw him swallow and clench his teeth, and I think he even growled before digging his fingers into the front of my shirt, crumpling the fabric as if I were some guy about to be threatened. I flinched at his grip and

  • CROOKED: In love with my cousin's boyfriend   CHAPTER 33

    (MAËL 2). (2020, Braga) Remembering was why I asked João to give me some time before meeting him. I demanded patience in waiting to come to my father’s office. I sat on the largest sofa in the waiting area upstairs. I grabbed a beer from my six-pack, opened it, and took a long swig. The offices in the house had finally been rented out, and even if Carlos hadn’t stuck his nose into the space, we would’ve ended up without a place to meet anyway. Remember—I wanted to remember everything, over and over, as if picking at the wound was the best remedy for my pain. I looked around. At night, these offices closed their doors, but thanks to my father’s friendship with Dr. Peñera, I could come in as often as I wanted. The tomb-like silence helped me think about my next steps and, of course, about *her*—about Delu. My rage was so immense, so vile… How could I have let it come to this? I don’t think I’ll ever forget seeing her like that. I… I broke that woman. The Sagres six-pack

  • CROOKED: In love with my cousin's boyfriend   CHAPTER 32

    My forehead was pressed against the glass, and I was biting my nails. The scenery outside meant nothing to me. My body had tensed up the moment I got into the car—my palms bore witness as my nails dug into them while I cried. That’s how badly Nikko’s betrayal had wrecked me, and now his cousin Maël was driving me back to Braga. I didn’t want to go home, so I told him to take me anywhere but my parents’ house. We arrived in Braga in less than 45 minutes without exchanging a single word. He was tense, but not nervous. All I wanted was to forget, to sleep, to ease this suffocating anguish. And despite my misery, being near Maël put me on edge, as it always did—this time would be no exception. The silence broke when we pulled into the garage of what looked like a house. I was completely thrown, and the surprise was enough to snap me out of my haze. "Where are we?" "One of my father’s properties. Did you know about this place? Carlos bought it a few years ago," he explained as th

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