Shouldn't I just die!

Chapter 24

If I say the latest happenings weren't drifting life out of me I would be a terrible liar, I am bent under my reading table crying my eyes out.

I miss him, I miss him so much that I can't find any sleep. At some point Xavier was there for me, he was the only one by my side. He walked dude by side with me when Royce died, from the police station to the court.

Was it love, comfort, belonging? He was more than that to me and I feel so horrible he had to die in my hands. Why him? I thought the game kills people that I love, or is it because of the soft spot I was garnering for him that he died next.

Fuck! What am I saying?

I can't deny the fact that I like Xavier but it's just that out of all my friends he's the one I like less. I snuggle my pillow to my chest and take a deep sigh, hugging my knees.

I remained in that position that I didn't know when I slept off.

*

"Clary food is ready!" I heard Dad's voice from the bathroom. Last night I slept in a very uncomfortable position