Chapter 30

We went over and over the part with Logan. I spent what felt like an hour answering questions about Logan. Between them they took turns being the defense attorney and cross examining me. I was asked several times about how close, to Logan, I was and the nature of our relationship. We then moved onto the following night. Recalling the attack was more difficult than I had thought it was going to be.

Step by step we went into every little detail. I was asked about whether I encouraged them, whether I did anything to subdue them and whether there was anything I asked of them. I stood and paced the room to try and settle my swirling mind.

“I think we should call it a day here,” Evelyn said.

“No, I can do this. I need to finish this.”

“Leah, we are going to need to go over this several more times to get you ready. I don’t want to push you too hard today.”

“I need to finish this. Let’s carry on.”

Jack smiled at me, evidently seeing some strength he must not have seen previously. Evelyn continued to go over details while Jack asked questions. After a little while they swapped positions and Evelyn started asking questions. We had been in there nearly 4 hours by the time they called it a day. I was absolutely exhausted.

I stood up and stretched out from the table. They both thanked me and asked me to come back the following day. As I reached the door, I thanked them both for everything they were doing for me. Upon walking out, I found Logan sitting on a chair in the corridor waiting for me. He jumped to his feet and ran over to me. My mind swirled with the warning from Evelyn and Jack, and I found myself holding a hand up and stopping him in his tracks a few feet away from me. I saw the confusion on his face and a twang of pain appeared in my chest. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me, but I took their warning seriously. I knew deep down inside me I had to pull away.

The car ride home was quiet, and I could feel myself pulling away. Logan didn’t push the subject and he left me to do what I needed. He knew what I had just been put through having been on the other side of the table multiple times in his career. As soon as we arrived back I found myself retiring to my room.

I knew the only way to keep my distance was to go back to my work placement to tie up some of my time. I needed to put distance between us and what better way than physical distance. My boss was concerned about my quick return. I requested a meeting to discuss it the following morning. My meeting with Evelyn was not until 3pm. He agreed and I found myself falling asleep after the call.

I heard Logan come in to check on me, but I was half asleep. The bed dipped where he sat on the edge. I felt his hand stroke my hair leaving tingles through me in his hands wake. A short while later he left the room, and I heard a heavy sigh from his lips and the door closed behind him. It didn’t take long for the darkness of sleep to overtake me completely.

If I was hoping for a peaceful sleep, I was wrong. The recollection from the day had taken its toll on me and brought all of the memories to the forefront of my mind. The dreams quickly turned into nightmares, and I found myself screaming but unable to break out of the dream.