Chapter 87

I found myself out of bed packing my bags. I changed into some clothes and packed enough clothes for several weeks. I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do but I needed space, I needed time to myself to figure out what I wanted. I needed time away from everyone and everything around me. I messaged my boss asking for emergency leave and told them I was happy to take it unpaid if necessary. I only asked for a week and thought I would figure the rest out after then. They accepted and told me they would use my holidays for it. I messaged Abigail to tell her I was taking an emergency vacation. She wanted to know what was going on, but I told her I would explain everything when I was back.

I locked up my house, put the bags in the boot of my car and started driving. I found myself travelling south. There was a small town I passed through in the early hours and stopped to ask for directions to the nearest hotel. When I found it, I booked a room for the night and curled up in bed.

The next morning, I was back on the road with the windows down and the wind in my hair. Logan was blowing up my phone constantly, but I refused to answer the messages or calls. Abigail started calling me in the middle of the morning while I was driving so, I pulled over and answered.

“Leah where the hell are you!?” She panicked.

“I told you I will explain everything when I come home but I just needed to get away.”

“Logan was here looking for you at 4am! What the hell is going on?”

“Logan was there?” I was shocked.

My heart sank.

“Yes, he said something happened and he was looking for you but wouldn’t say much more.”

“It’s nothing, it’s fine. I just needed some alone time.”

“Leah, I'm worried. Please just tell me where you are.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t because I don’t even know,” I snapped. “I drove and just kept driving. I can’t tell you what I don’t know Abigail.”

“Just come home, please?”

“I can’t. I need time to think. I promise you I am alright, and I'll talk to you in a few days.”

I hung up as I heard noises in the background. I got back on the road and continued to drive. I ended up finding a little town almost in the middle of nowhere with a small bed and breakfast. I checked in and booked a room for the week. I headed out to check out the town. I heard about a peaceful trail walk that took you to a small stream and waterfall. I was given a map and went on my way.

I needed something to distract me and clear my head. After about an hour I located the stream and the waterfall. I took a seat close to the water and closed my eyes listening to the sounds around me. It was the first time in a long time I felt at peace. I stayed there for a few more hours until my quiet was broken by a call from Jack.

“Jack.”

“Leah, I need to know where you are.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t or won’t?” He asked.

It was the exact same words my sister used. Then I realised what was happening.

“Logan is with you, isn’t he?”

“Leah, please just tell us where you are?”

“I will tell you the exact same as what I told my sister. Nice job by the way Logan dragging her into this.” I snapped, “I can’t tell you what I don’t know.”

“Please just come home and we can talk about this.” Logan begged.

His voice shocked me. The desperation in it along with the sorrow. I felt a pang inside me as the anger started to rise again and all I could think about was wanting to hurt him to make him feel the way he made me feel. I knew it was selfish and awful, but I was not in a headspace to think otherwise.

“Come home, what like I begged you to come home after you left. Talk about what exactly? How for the second time in our time together, you chose to reject me rather than talk to me? What’s the point Logan? We just keep going around and we keep landing back here.”

“I need to fix this. I didn’t reject you Leah, or at least I didn’t mean to. I love you, please come home.”

He was recognizing what he did, finally. Was it enough? I faltered for a moment.

“I need time and space to figure this out.”

“Just remember one thing for me, please.” He paused.

My silence was his indication to continue.

“Remember you are it for me, you are my ride or die. I mean that. There is no one else for me.”

I sighed against the phone, “I love you.” I said before hanging up.