Guilty

Zachary

In two weeks, I'll be a married man. I'm anxious and the butterflies in my stomach kept flapping crazily. I don't want to get married but I already promised my grandmother and her to make these all work out. But I'm all worn out. I badly need a woman and sex. I called Travis and asked for a woman just for three days. I left my office and went to the hotel. The woman is already there and I'm sure that she's clean.

She was petite as well but with big fake boobs. I removed my shirt and my pants as she rolled on the bed and turned back, already excited. She's wearing a thong nothing else. Her ass was round, and I couldn't believe that it was also fake. I'm disappointed. I put my condom on and felt her pussy. Already wet.

I knelt between her spread legs and I stick my cock deep inside her. She groaned loudly.

"Yes, baby." She purred. "I love your big dick inside me. Fuck me faster. Fuck me so hard."

"I will." I grin and started fucking her pussy. A little disappointed that I wasn't even that aroused like before.

It takes an hour for me to come. I couldn't release all of it and I'm tired and I wanted to sleep. But I couldn't. I wasn’t satisfied with the sex and I wasn’t satisfied with myself. I check my phone and there's a text message from her. Her picture appeared on the notification. She looked adorable with a simple smile.

Good night. Don't work too hard.

It was an hour ago. I was fucking this woman beside me who rain kisses on me. She even took my phone away. I held her and told her to give it back. But she's such a player and it annoys me. I try to call her but she's out of reach. Oh, just fuck it. A text message dings and it was Warren.

Warren: Bro, I don't know why you are doing this, but don't you think that that girl is too fragile? Please, if you wanted her to break her heart, just give her to me. It's unfair for her.

Me: Fuck you.

I type furiously and start dressing up. I paid the woman an amount and left.

My nights become like that, but I always get a loss of appetite for sex. I call her every day to check on her. Sometimes she's not answering the whole day. Sometimes she'll be so cold. I don't understand why. Does she have this strong woman instinct that makes her felt of what I am doing? Does she love me? Is it possible that she could love me? I am so fucked up.

I sometimes think that she could read me inside my head. Or maybe it’s just me, becoming nuts because of the guilt that I have inside me.

So, when I arrived home, I would always cuddle with her and make her feel better. I make her feel like she’s the only one that I have. But, every time, I hugged her from behind and pressed my lips on her head, I would think of the woman that I fucked when I was miserable and sleepless. I was away from her.

Days have passed until suddenly, I realized and tomorrow is our wedding. It will be held in the gardens. I stayed a bit inside my room while she’s out there entertaining her whole family and having fun in the family room. A few of her relatives had come as well.

I couldn't sleep. I got out for jogging on the lawn and somehow noticed my girl, unwinding. She didn't seem to notice me as she was in deep thought.

"Hey," I walked toward her and it startled her a bit. She looked at me with those tears and quickly looked away as she wiped her tears. "You okay." I scoop her face to turn it to me. Tears kept on rolling down her cheek and I brushed the tears away with my thumb. But she pushed me and she wiped it.

"Yup. Something just got stuck on my eyes."

"You got snots." I also noted.

"It's cold." She sniffled.

"What's the real problem?"

"Aren't you having second thoughts?"

"No." because all the real estate and the Manor are under her name. Billions of money are in her name as well. She doesn't know that, and I must have it. "You aren't hesitating, right?"

"I don't know." She turned back to weep. "It's just all hard to believe. Everything here."

"It's real."

"Yes. That's what I'm afraid about." She muttered. "Warren told me one thing yesterday. That makes me think."

"What is it?" I will be fucking smoother Warren. I don't want him around her. He's just so clingy and flirty. And, if he tells her about what happened when I was in the city, I’m going to kill him.

"You don't have to know. And why are you outside?"

"I have insomnia, that's why," I answered

"I know. Couldn't you sleep with another woman back then?"

"I could when I'm too worn out."

"Can't we have a honeymoon?"She asked.

What were these all about? I can't live without sex and be all platonic. But fuck! I was the one who asked for platonic.

"Can I bring women to the house?" she was silent for a while. Then she turned to me, looking all hurt and lonely, I hate to see that.

"Can I also bring men to the house? Maybe bring him in the guest room?"

"Fuck, no!" I scold. She looked away and wiped her tears. I sigh, close my eyes and calm myself. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to make these all work out."

"Are you?" I suddenly feel guilty about that night that I screwed a few girls three of them in one night just for me to sleep and two and then one on the other nights. "I'm sorry." She muttered. "I know that I'm not good enough for you, but I have to try, really hard. I promise that." Why does it sound so painful to hear?

"What are you talking about? You are enough, don't try hard." I embrace her just to make sure that it was her and to protect her as well. "It's alright. I'll be good to you." She faced me and shove her face on my chest, and she cried there. Why do I feel so irresponsible about this? Why does it break my heart hearing her cry and witnessing her cries?

We settled on the other west wing where our rooms are just near while her parents and other relatives are on the east wing of the mansion. I settled in a fireplace and we cuddled as she drank milk together and talked a lot about our pasts and so on and forth.

"Does this mean that you'll be working more?" She asked in a hoarse voice.

"Yup."

"I'll be left alone in the house?"

"You could always visit grandma."

"Damn," she muttered.

"Where do you want to enroll?" I kissed her lips.

"Taekwondo. Also, in a few things so I could work."

"Just name it and I'll make my secretary settle it. Why Taekwondo, by the way?" I asked. She grinned at me and I felt a rush through my spine.

"So, I could beat you up." She then smirked at me that sent me shivers. That just makes me gapes.

"Oh, that's so sexy, honey."

"I know." She giggled.

"So, where did you girls went today?"

"In a lot of beautiful places. Well, grandma took me to the salon, and we go waxing again, damn it hurts just I remember."

"Where does it hurt?" I grin getting too excited to see her naked.

"Everywhere."

"Do you want me to kiss it all?" I kiss her shoulder and her cheek, her ear, gently nibbling it.

"No." she scowled. "You just wanted to see me naked. That's why."

"I do," I whisper. "Where do you want to have our honeymoon?"

"Just home is fine." I frown. "What?"

"I can't believe you." Most women would like to go to Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, London and whatever places that they like.

"Well if I agree about honeymoon does this mean that you are going to stop seducing women?" I can still have sex with her every time so it will be fine.

"Yeah, maybe." She stayed quiet.

"Then just choose. Me or them." Wow, is she this selfish? Well, the word wasn't selfish at all. She had the right after we got married. "I don't want to get STD, AIDs, and whatnots." She stood giving the cup to me. "Good night, I hope you'll have a better life." What is this? Is she making me guilty? Because it is very effective.

Oh, Meave! You are driving me crazy.