The one in the mirror

Artemis White's POV - TW - Drugs, kidnapping, torture, blood, death. Continue at your own risk.

Time slipped sideways. I don't remember closing my eyes. One moment, I was hanging in chains, watching the four men leave, cheeks stinging, ribs aching. Next, I'm standing in a hallway of mirrors, fog drifting across the floor. The glass panes didn't reflect me; they reflected other people. Other places. 

Lillian, sipping strawberry milk and complaining to Mia over the phone that she's exhausted from their extracurricular activities after school. Then she asks if she's heard from me. In another glass pane, Mia is responding while sitting at her desk with her laptop open in front of her. 

I turn around and see Margot pacing her room, gripping her phone. She's been silent for a while. A knock sounds at her door, George walks in and asks why she's pacing. She explains that she can't get a hold of me, nor can Lil or Mia. She's worried, contemplating calling Benji or someone. She cursed the fact that she doesn't know my older sister's number. She started yelling, wishing she'd let us all in. Let us all know her family so she can contact them in a situation like this. 

Another mirror showed Benji and Lucanis playing with Damien at Lennox's house, Angelica eating noodles out of a pot on the sofa. Lennox was standing at the gate of my house with Ace, his face deathly pale, and Ace panicking as he shouted orders at men. 

Another glass plane showed my parents pacing, but my mother exuding her killing intent, screaming that I'd been gone for hours and no sign of me yet. Shouting that despite how large her network is, she's useless - Her men are useless. Dad was trying his best to calm her, but she was having none of it. 

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. I decided to walk down the corridor toward the door at the end. I pushed it open, but it was just another room with a singular mirror inside and a chair in the middle of the room. 

At first, the mirror reflected only a swirling darkness. But as I got closer, the door closed behind me, and a soft, familiar voice filled the room. I couldn't place it, though. "Who do you wish to see the most?" She asked. Apollo flashed in my mind. "Very well", she said, as if she were rattling around in my think tank. 

Reflected there was Apollo. Barefoot, grinning, his white hair curling like smoke around his ears. His eyes, so soft, so kind. They swirled golden. I physically buffered before slowly making my way toward the mirror and kneeling in front of it, my palms flat as my eyes became teary. "Took you long enough", he said like he had been waiting all this time for me. 

"Apollo?" My bottom lip quaked, my voice cracking with emotion. It echoed in a space that didn't exist. He tilted his head, almost like he was showing me that he was real "In the flesh. Well...Not flesh. Close enough," I attempted to shuffle closer, but I was already as close as I could be "You're-" I blinked "You're supposed to be-" I couldn't finish my sentence, tears slipping from my eyes. 

"Sleeping. Comatose. Dead. Medically brain dead, anyway," he shrugged "You need me" It was a fact. I did need him, I always needed him. "Are you...In my head? Did I break? Go crazy?" I asked him. "Yes, no and no. You've done well. Mama would be impressed" his smile faded "You're in a dingy warehouse, sister. You're beaten and bleeding. They're trying to break you" 

"I'm not broken", I said automatically, almost defensively. He walked closer to the mirror, expression unreadable "Not yet. But you're tired and even if you pretend not to be, there's part of you that's scared. And worst of all? You're holding back", he said with a frown.

"I'm thinking", I said tightly, the tears drying on my face. "No," He leaned forward, his face seemed like it was almost pressing against the glass "You're waiting. For someone else to save you. Hoping they'll come. For someone else to rescue you...And that's never who you were meant to be, Artemis White." I flinched at his words as they echoed through me, vibrating against my bones. They were colder than those chains were. Apollo never used to be like this. He isn't like this. Is it really him?

"You are a White. We don't beg. We break through." I swallowed hard, the thick fog around my ankles. "There's something in you", Apollo said, lifting his hand and pushing it toward me. It passed through the mirror like it was a mist and placed his fingers on my chest...Through my chest. "Something you've always been afraid to touch. But it's there. It wants out" The mirrors outside sounded like they were humming. The door swung open, and I looked back, seeing the reflections pulse like a heartbeat. 

"No. I don't want it, you know I don't," I hissed as I turned back to face him "I just need a plan. Now that the music has stopped, I can think" Apollo narrowed his eyes and I and slowly began to lean back "maybe" he said, "maybe this time...You let it help you" I stared into his eyes. For a moment, they weren't golden, they were pitch black. Starless. Ancient. 

I gritted my teeth and shook my head, "No. The last time you helped me, somebody died. I killed someone" Apollo, or what I thought was Apollo, frowned in obvious displeasure as he straightened out "You mean the woman that tried to kill you. Would have killed you" I stilled for a second and then shook my head again "You don't know that", I stated, but neither did I. 

I was four, and a woman disguised as a maid stood over my bed, a dagger mere inches from my throat. I had no control; it just happened. A black shadow appeared, shaped like a rope. It wrapped itself around the woman's neck and pulled, snapping her neck. When she was dead, the shadow vanished like it had never been there. But that woman's eyes haunted me. She was terrified, looking at me like I was a monster. 

"She was the monster, Arte. She was the one trying to kill an innocent four-year-old." I grimaced at the memory and the words from Apollo's mouth. "Stop it. Who are you?" I asked, through gritted teeth. "You, obviously. Or rather, part of you that was inherited. You can't be ice forever, Arte. Sometimes...You have to burn. But...I'll help you anyway. After all, we are one. And a little motivation...Apollo is waiting for you" 

My heart skipped a beat in my chest. The mirror shattered, and I startled, shielding my face, but no glass ever touched me. 

I sucked in a sharp breath, throwing my head up. My breathing came out ragged, and I realised my skin was ice cold. I blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision. In front of me stood the four men. Baldy was impassive, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched me. Brown-hair stood trying to figure me out, see if I was ready to break. A blonde with a buzz cut was scrolling his phone, bored, and another blonde with spiked hair had thrown a bucket of ice water over me. "There you are, little Princess. We were gracious enough to let you nap some more while we ate," he snickered. 

Now that he mentioned it, I could smell Chinese food. I scowled, my stomach rumbling audibly "What? None for me? I'd kill for a chicken chow mein right now" I dropped my tone low on that last bit, my eyes narrowing. It caused the group to pause, and he even had a buzz cut, looking up from his phone. 

In the silence, I felt like I could hear something buzzing in my veins. Something dark, ancient, powerful. Something that was mine. It felt like I could feel it rising under my skin, like ink in water. I rolled my left wrist experimentally, flexing. 

"Just say the words, Arte", the voice of Apollo echoed in my head. I replied no. I said that they'd come for me within the hour. The voice scoffed but remained quiet. I moved my eyes to look when I saw movement. Brown-hair was putting his black gloves back on. I sighed, wondering if they were missing brain cells. Brown-hair started to walk toward me, and I opened my mouth to speak, to say something sarcastic, but pain got there first. 

A fist to my gut, a backhand across my face, the crack of knuckles against my jaw. The metallic taste of blood was familiar now - Comforting, in a sick sort of way. At least it meant I was still awake. Alive and kicking. 

After a while, the world tilted sideways as my body sagged in the chains. The drugs had already started to wear off while I was asleep, but how long had it been since? At least a few hours. There wasn't any light coming through the windows anymore. Every part of me ached, bruises layered over bruises. I'd lost count of how many. 

I didn't scream, though. A small victory. But I was close. Then, it came again, "Just let me in" It wasn't Apollo's voice anymore. It was low, velvet-smooth. It crawled through the back of my mind like a snake made of shadows. "You don't have to put up with this. You don't have to sit and wait like a damsel," it said, and I clenched my jaw, but my limbs trembled, and the chains gently clinked like a soft melody. 

"I can give you power. Power that was always yours, from birth. Just locked away. Let me unlock it, say yes," I was distracted by the voice. Didn't see the backhand that came for my cheek, stinging my skin so hard I thought it was torn. I whimpered. He heard it and grinned, taking it as permission. He grabbed my jaw and forced me to face him "Still so smug?" He whispered, his breath sour. "You're not special. Not really. You're just meat," had he moved onto psychological now?

"Let me show you how wrong he is," the voice purred ", let me help" I grit my teeth and viciously answered back in my head, "I don't need your help!" I yelled, "You will", it said. Then it fell silent. 

Another blow landed - sharp, quick, meant to disorient. The corners of my vision folded in, black creeping in. I fought to stay awake. "Apollo", I whispered under my breath, my eyelids heavy. 

There was silence for a beat. Then another and another. My eyes closed, and I heard a 'tsk' of annoyance come from brown-hair next to me. "I can help you get back to him," the voice promised. I could feel it, something dark snaking upward, coiling under my ribs. Waiting. "Just say the word, Arte. Tell me you want them to burn" My breathing slowed. "They think you're nothing special. Just a girl. I know something different. I know because I've been here, always. Since birth. We're the same. Three pieces of one person," it said, low and honey-dark. It had been so patient this whole time. Like it knew, "Just let go. Tell me what you want," it urged. 

Just before I passed out, I managed to internally smirk, "I want you to shut up and let me think of how to get out of here, without you making an appearance," and then everything went black, the voices of the men drowned out by a faint buzzing in my ear. 

I think I dreamed about the last time I felt whole. When Apollo sat with his feet in the grass, the usual neat boy fretting over a grass stain on his pristine white shirt, while Lillian cried in the background, flower petals gently brushing us all by. George was laughing, kicking a football and Margot and I were trying to calm Apollo and Lillian down. Benji was late joining us that day. He'd gone food shopping with his parents, knowing his dad would let him get a large pick 'n' mix. 

When he got back, he shared it with us. We all sat watching the colours blend in the sky, shouting out what each cloud looked like and then debating it with each other 'That one looks like a bunny' - 'No, it looks like a hand playing the scissors from rock-paper-scissors.'

The smell of grass invaded my nostrils, and I remember looking at each face belonging to my friends and my twin. Only briefly, but long enough to have a ghost of a smile as they admired the sky. I couldn't help but grasp onto one passing thought - These people will be with me forever. Even if I claim my birthright and have to lie to them for the rest of our lives. I know they'll never abandon me. 

The scene shattered before me, slowly falling away. I came face to face with myself. Unlike me, she was perfect. Not a scratch on her. Violet eyes that seemed like they held countless constellations within them. "But Apollo abandoned us. And then we abandoned them," she said. I sighed, knowing who this was. "You know Apollo didn't abandon us," I told her. "But you're right about us abandoning them. We left." I thought back to my time abroad for a second. 

"We came back, though", she mumbled, finding my shoes more interesting. I hummed an acknowledgement, and then a peaceful silence fell between us for a while. When she looked back up, her eyes were glossed over, like she wanted to cry. 

I could feel my face soften. "Why won't you accept me? I just want to help you. Us. I want you to acknowledge me and accept me as part of you," her voice was barely a whisper. My heart squeezed a little. I know she means well. She always did. Just like that time I was four. 

"Truthfully", I started. My lips pursed as I stared at her. She stared right back, her fingers twitching nervously as she awaited an explanation "I'm scared", I finished. She seemed taken aback. "...Of me?" she asked, a tinge of hope in her voice that begged for me not to be afraid of her. "No. Not you. Me. I'm afraid of me". 

She was confused. Of course, she was. We were the same. It was like I was saying, 'Actually, I AM scared of you.' "I'm scared of the person I might become. I'm scared to become her. Them." She frowned "Who?" It was an innocent question. But it was one that directly made me admit my biggest fears. 

"My mother. My grandmother. My aunties. I'm scared to become them. Aren't you?" I asked her. Her face softened this time, and she gave me a slight smile, shaking her head, "No. I'm not. They clawed their way to power, their nails tearing from the skin with each grab. They learned the hard way that they needed power. They needed it to be somebody, to protect themselves and most importantly, the people they cared about most" 

She was right. "But...The power that my mother has is why I'm chained in a warehouse being tortured by a wannabe boy band," I argued softly. She chuckled. "I suppose. But at the same time, you're only here because of your position with that power. If it was Khi or Helios, even Apollo...They'd be here in your place, wouldn't they?" She asked, but it was more of a statement. She was right again. I didn't have a further argument. 

"Just...Think about it. I'm the first piece of your puzzle, Arte. You're not whole, and you won't be until you accept who you are. WHAT are you?" I searched her eyes for any trace of deception, but there was none. "And what am I?" I asked her. She blinked once. Twice. "That's for you to decide. When you've started to put yourself together again. It starts with me. Then, you can go and get Apollo back." 

A muscle in my face twitched. I felt it, she saw it. "Can I?" Was it as simple as 'going to get him back'? She nodded. "He's just waiting for you to wake him up. For us, to wake him up. Don't you think he's waited long enough?" 

He had. He'd missed out on too much of his life. Even so, accepting her meant unlocking a part of me that I'd been denying all these years. That I'd hidden away. I needed time. 

"You don't have a lot of it", she said and then looked off to the side. I followed her gaze, seeing a blinding white light clawing its way through the darkness as if it were chasing me. "It's time to wake up, Arte. But it'll get worse, I know it. When you decide what you want...I'll be here, waiting for you. As always," she smiled. A sweet, warm smile. Something I never would have associated with such an ancient darkness. But then again, my grandmother's darkness always felt warm and safe, too.