Present Day The Saunders clan sat quietly in the parlor. Emma and Jack were on an old-fashioned love seat, Emma's head resting on Jack's shoulder. Robbie stood beside them, staring out the window, his hands behind his back. Several employees and close staff huddled in a group by the corner, solemn and quiet like a silent flock of black birds. I stood next to Bianca, who sat stiffly in a blue wing-backed chair. Her hair was perfect, her makeup unsmudged, but I knew inside she was screaming with loss. A lawyer fumbled with long sheets of paper at the head of the room, preparing to read the will. Daniel had only been dead for less than a day, but it was per his wishes that the will be read now. I swallowed my tears down. Now that I was here, Daniel's death was real again. For a few blessed moments with Dean, my heart forgot to hurt. Now it just ached as though it were making up for the missed time. Bianca's brown eyes stared blankly at the room. I knew she didn't see the people there,
Present Day The afternoon sun transformed the world into a kaleidoscope of orange and red as it filtered through the autumn leaves. Dean sat in the garden on a wrought iron bench, his eyes closed as he looked toward the sun. He reminded me of a cat, sitting there soaking up the last rays of warmth before winter. I stood for a moment under the rustling leaves, just admiring him. He was so handsome. His dark hair ruffled in the fall breeze, the wind mussing it like a lover's caress. His jaw was strong and smooth, his back tall and straight. Even after all this time, he still made my heart pound in my chest like a nervous school girl's. He was everything I could ever ask for; everything I could ever want. The leaves crackled under my feet as I followed the stone pathway to the bench. Dean opened one eye just enough for a sliver of blue to peek out, but then he closed it. His face remained impassive. I smiled at him, even though he couldn't see it. I felt like I might vibrate out of my
Emma smiles at me. She fixes my veil one last time, making sure it is still on straight, then smooths the hair curling gently around my shoulders. She says something about weddings, and I smile automatically. My mind isn't on her. It's on the person waiting for me at the end of the stone pathway. Dean is waiting for me. She fusses with Jack's tie, making sure that it, too, is on straight. He gives her a warm smile and shoos her out of the house. I can hear her heels clicking on the steps as she hurries to the garden to tell them we're ready to begin. I feel like I'm going to float away I'm so happy. I wonder how it is possible for any one person to brim with so much joy to the point of overflowing, yet here I am, barely able to contain myself. Dean is waiting for me. Jack takes my hand, placing it in the crook of his arm as we start to walk out the main doors. I remember my flowers at the last moment and I pull myself free to grab them. I grasp them tightly as I give my hand back t
Present Day The cursor blinked steadily on the laptop screen in front of me, but I barely saw the dark pixels repeatedly dimming against the stark whiteness. I couldn't focus on writing the memo Jack requested, or even the website I had up in the background. My thoughts weren't even organized or even actual thoughts; I was just letting nothingness sit in my brain. The blank thoughts were a pleasant respite from the emotions running through the house. A hand settling on my shoulder roused me from my silent thoughts. Jack Saunders, my boss and friend, gave me a small smile. "How's that memo coming, Rachel?" he asked. I sighed. "It's not. What did the doctor say?" Jack's face fell a little. He sat down at the kitchen table next to me and played with the edge of the big wooden table. I could have worked anywhere in the Saunders' mansion, but I preferred the kitchen's warmth and sunny feeling in the mornings. The big country-style table was comfortable and I could hear the sounds of t
June 5th, 1990 An old man walked by wearing a Speedo swimsuit that left nothing to the imagination. You've got guts, dude, I thought, and then snickered in my head. Yup. You’ve got guts- and that's the problem! The man continued to strut up the beach, but my eyes didn't follow him. I was pretending to read a book, laying on my stomach facing the ocean, but really I was just people watching. I had read the same paragraph four times and hadn't turned the page yet. The tourists were just too interesting. Granted, I was a tourist too, but that wasn't going to stop me from people watching. My roommate, Jenny, nudged my beach chair with her foot, tipping her head toward the man who had just walked by. I peeked over the top of my Ray Ban sunglasses just in time to see him scratch himself. "Thanks, Jenny," I said, sticking my tongue out at her. She gave me a innocent smile and made sure the long brown hair in her side ponytail was still tight against her head. "No problem, Rachel. I thoug
June 5th, 1990- Evening That night, in the tiny beach town, Jenny, Kimberly, and I were dressed to kill. Jenny wore shiny black leggings that emphasized her dancer-like legs with a purple and gold shirt, while Kimberly chose some amazing acid-washed jean shorts with a neon green tank-top. I had on a hot pink mini skirt with an oversized teal t-shirt hanging off one shoulder. We had used up a bottle of hairspray getting ready, so our hair looked fantastic, despite the humidity. We were ready to have some fun. We headed down to the main bar in town. It was called "The Pirate's Revenge" but everyone knew it as just "Revenge." Half of the venue was open to night air, music blasting out and the lights twinkling into the darkness. It was the place to be. Jenny giggled and grabbed my hand, pulling me urgently toward the welcoming lights. If those military boys were anywhere tonight, they were at this bar. We stepped inside, adjusting our eyes to the revolving colored disco lights, and the
June 5th, 1990- EveningDean took me by the hand, and we stumbled out of the brightly-lit bar and onto the sidewalk. I knew that the other girls would wonder about where I went, but I didn't care. I could feel the whiskey and beer buzzing through my system, making me giddy. We were outside before I realized that Dean hadn't let go of my hand. I could feel his heat seeping into my skin, sending little tendrils of electricity up my spine. I was lightheaded, and I knew it wasn't just from the alcohol.Since I'd seen the house while out on the beach with Jenny and Kimberly, I already knew the way to the house. I half-consciously started to lead the way. "What's your hurry?" he asked. "That eager to get me to my house?"I stuck my tongue out at him. "All right, big guy, what else do you have in mind?"He shrugged his shoulders. I couldn't help but notice the strength in them whenever he did that. "Have you ever checked out the shops in Old Town?"I smiled. "Yes, we went there earlier today
Present Day Half of a turkey sandwich stared up at me, daring me to eat it, but I just couldn't find the appetite. I had eaten the first half, and had even enjoyed it, but my aching heart was taking up all the space in my body and I just didn't have room to fit the sandwich. I pushed the food away, the plate making a soft grating noise along the wood table. The Saunders family portrait stared out at me from across the table. It was one from when the two boys were young. Jack stood next to his father, his hair neat and eyes bright. Robbie, his younger brother, sat on his mother's knee. Despite the outward calm of the picture, I remembered running around trying to catch Robbie to make his hair lay flat for the picture. He had run around the studio like a wild child, eventually tripping and scraping his knee. I could see the edge of the bandage poking out from beneath his shorts. The table vibrated. I looked askance at the plate, wondering if I had angered the turkey sandwich gods by