LOGINAfter being reborn, I make up my mind to stop chasing after my childhood crush, Emil McLaren. When he puts up a sign banning my presence at his birthday party, I pack my bags and decide to go to Wanoki Island. When he says my scent makes his house feel nauseating, I quietly move out without complaint. When he says he doesn't want to breathe the same city air as me after our graduation, I leave and never look back. Then he tells me my existence might make his beloved first love uncomfortable. I nod and soon go public with someone else. In this life, I do the opposite of everything I did before. Because in my past life, I got what I wanted—I married Emil. But then his first love jumped off a cliff. He called me her murderer and tormented me. In the end, I jumped into the sea in a state of mental confusion and died. This time, all I want is to live. So, I find myself someone new. However, Emil blocks my path, his eyes bloodshot as he glares at me. "Penelope, I'll forgive this little joke of yours if you come with me right now."
View More「ごめーん、小日向(こひなた)さん! 急にデート入っちゃって!」
木曜日の19時過ぎ。 華やいだ空気が漂うオフィスに、甘ったるい声が響いた。
声の主は、営業部のマドンナ的存在である後輩女子。 彼女は合わせる手と申し訳なさそうな顔を作りながら、それでもデスクの上には既にブランド物のバッグが乗っている。「この入力、お願いできるかな? 小日向さんって、ほんと『お母さん』みたいに頼りになるし!」
お母さん。 その四文字が、私――小日向紬(こひなた・つむぎ)に地味なダメージを与える。私はまだ24歳だ。そりゃあ24歳でちゃんと結婚して子供がいる人もいるけど、私は独身、彼氏もいない。それなのに、社内での扱いは完全に「熟練のオカン」になっている。
「分かりました。置いておいてください」
私は作り慣れた営業スマイルを貼り付ける。 口角を上げ、目は細め、相手に一切の罪悪感を抱かせないプロのモブの顔だ。
笑顔であっても華やかさのない、ごく地味な顔。「えっ、いいの!? やったあ! やっぱ小日向さん神! ありがとう!」
「楽しんできてくださいね」
「うん! 行ってきまーす!」
後輩はフローラル系の香水の匂いを撒き散らしながら、軽やかな足取りでオフィスを出て行った。自動ドアが閉まる音がして、オフィスに静寂が戻る。
はあ、と息を吐く。 ため息ではない。呼吸を整えただけだ。
私は4人きょうだいの長女だった。 共働きの両親に代わって、弟や妹の面倒を見るのは私の役目。
オムツを替え、離乳食を食べさせ、喧嘩の仲裁をし、宿題を見てやる。誰かの世話を焼くことは、私にとって呼吸と同じくらい当たり前の習性になっていた。「……さてと」
積み上げられた伝票の山を引き寄せる。人の世話が嫌いなわけじゃない。誰かの役に立つこと自体は、むしろ好きなほうだ。
ただ、たまに。ほんの少しだけ。自分が「便利な脇役」として消費されることに、心が乾いてひび割れる音がする。
「やるか」
私はキーボードに指を走らせた。カチャカチャという無機質な音だけが、誰もいないオフィスに虚しく響いた。
◇ 「お疲れ様でしたー……」誰に言うでもなく呟いて、タイムカードを切る。時刻は22時を回っていた。もちろん残業代は出る。それが唯一の救いだ。
駅前の大通りは、まだ金曜日の熱気に浮かれていた。 居酒屋のキャッチ、楽しそうに笑い合うカップル、千鳥足のサラリーマン。
私はそのどれとも関わりを持たない「背景の一部」として、コンビニの自動ドアをくぐった。Initially, Sean and I didn't want to make our relationship public. He wanted to quit the entertainment industry, but his manager made him come around. He ended up signing another contract, which would be valid for three years.The feedback he received after his career transition was not bad, and now, he only accepted movie roles.His popularity grew so much that we had to go on dates stealthily. We only went out when it was dark. Sean couldn't take it anymore. After he got the ring he designed, he proposed to me right away, and I said yes."Penelope…"I turned around out of reflex. When I saw who the voice belonged to, exasperation washed over my face.Emil stepped out of the dark and approached me. He stared at me unblinkingly as his eyes gradually turned bloodshot.I frowned. "Emil? Who told you my address?"Emil replied softly, "I asked someone to look it up. Don't be afraid, Penelope. I just want to speak to you."I felt Sean's grip on my hand tighten. Patting him, I aske
A friend sent me a link, telling me to check it out, and I clicked on it. Sarah was making a live broadcast from the hospital, crying and accusing me of causing her miscarriage.Playing the victim was her best act. With the hospital as the background and the medical report, she easily convinced people that she was telling the truth.Sarah led the netizens to cyberbully me. They found my number and called me. Suddenly, my social media page was destroyed. Every time I turned on my phone, I received hostile comments.Even my ex-schoolmates hopped on the bandwagon, regardless of whether they knew me or not. I laughed in exasperation and made a police report right away. Next, I called Emil, asking him to hand over the surveillance video.However, despite all of my planning, I didn't anticipate that Emil could be so shameless. "Penelope, I can clear your name. The surveillance video is at home. As long as you return home and come back to my side, I'll give it to you."I've seen Sarah'
After that day, Hubert and Fiona called me one after the other, asking me if I'd like to return, but I turned them down decisively.I finally escaped a place like that; there was no way that I'd return.On the day Sean and I met up for a meal, he was fully covered as usual. I could understand that because his looks were attention-catching. I had booked a private dining room. Unfortunately, I ran into Emil the jerk again.He dashed over and grabbed my hand. "Penelope, are you really cheating on me? I thought that you were kidding, but you're on a date with this guy! Who is he?""Emil McLaren, who do you think you are?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes and pinch him hard on his arm.After he released his grip, I hurriedly stepped in front of Sean. It seemed that Emil had super-male syndrome and would throw a fit whenever things weren't going his way. Previously, he tossed my luggage out of the blue and broke it.A hurtful look flashed in Emil's eyes. "Are you protecting him, Pene
Didn't Emil say that my existence was the reason he couldn't be together with Sarah? So, on that day, I posted a picture of my hand in the blond man's hand.His slender fingers laced themselves through mine tightly, and our hands formed the shape of a heart. The caption was simple and blunt. "This is official." The moment I posted it on my social media, the comment section went abuzz."What's happening?""This doesn't look like Emil's hand.""What are you doing, Penelope?""I'd advise you to delete this immediately."Emil's friends attacked me at the same time.Delighted, I set down my phone in satisfaction. "I recognize you. You're Sean Tanner, the lead performer of a popular boy band."Sean waved his hand in embarrassment. "Our group has already disbanded, and I'm not the front man anymore."Through this short interaction, I could already roughly guess his character. By covering up so tightly, he could be a celebrity or a pervert. However, he could also have social anxiety












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