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Chapter 154

Ben

My alarm goes off, and I don’t even want to reach for my phone.

It’d be great to stop the two-day hangover that plagues me. But something else entirely when I’ll look at my screen and realize Kira hasn’t called me back. Or texted.

Not like she would.

I roll over, swatting blindly at my bedside table until my phone drops onto the floor, vibrating and jittering across the cheap carpet like some strange bug.

I test my eyes, flickering them open against my ceiling.

Well. At least my hangover is gone today.

I exhale. I’d rather have the pain of that hangover instead of the anger I feel at myself. Not just anger.

Shame. Annoyance.

And the worst part? The self-pity.

I’ve drowned in the feelings of the last few days, addicted to the self-sabotage of not eating, not consuming anything and not trusting myself. I’ve been sober for years. And doing this now? Giving into temptation? I want to blame my thesis. My stupid failed research. I want to just burn all of it to Hell and back. But gnawi
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