CHAPTER 4

RONAN’S POV

I met the penthouse empty when I returned, so let myself in and closed the door behind me. Then I poured myself a glass of water, but did not drink it. I just stood there, holding it and staring at the blank wall.

My mind would not stop replaying the events of last night.

The way she had looked at me. Like she was drowning and I was the only thing keeping her alive. The way her skin felt under my fingers, so soft, warm and shivering at my touches. The way her body had moved against mine, and the way she gasped when I pulled her closer. The way she had whispered things in the dark that she probably did not remember.

I wondered if she was alright.

I closed my eyes and could still feel her, still feel the weight of her in my arms, the heat of her skin against mine and the tiny moans she had made unconsciously. She had been so drunk and broken. I had told myself she was sober enough to choose. But was she? What if she regretted everything? What if she felt worse than before?

I set my glass down and shook my head.

Stop. It was just one night and it meant nothing.

I desperately needed to believe that.

But my body did not agree. My hands still remembered the curve of her waist. My lips still remembered the taste of her mouth and my skin still burned where she had touched me.

I needed to stop thinking about her.

Then I heard the door open and Silas walked in. He is my Beta amd closest friend. The only person who could enter without knocking.

He stopped when he saw me still wearing the clothes from last night, standing near the kitchen counter.

“I have been calling you,” Silas said.

“I know.”

“Your phone wemt dead.”

“I know.”

Without another word, Silas walked closer to me, with his eyes fixed on my face as he tried to look for answers.

“I did not see you after the club,” he said. “Where did you go?”

I did not answer right away, instead I picked up my glass of water, but still did not drink it.

“I went out,” I replied finally.

“Out where?”

“Just…..out.”

Silas leaned against the counter and folded his arms on his chest. He was not going to let this go. It was so obvious that I could see it clearly.

“You do not just disappear,” he said. “Not like that. Not without telling anyone.”

“It was nothing.”

“Nothing.” He repeated the word slowly. “You look like you have not slept and you are wearing the same clothes from last night. And also standing in your kitchen at seven in the morning, staring at a glass of water you have not touched.”

I said nothing.

“That is not nothing,” Silas continued. “So do not stand there and tell me it was nothing, young man. I have known you too long for that.”

I set the glass down and walked to the window. The city was filled with horns from far away vehicles and people in colorful dresses going about their way, but somewhere out there, she was still under the sheets in a hotel room. Or maybe she had already left.

I wondered if she was thinking about me too.

But I quickly pushed the thought away.

“I met someone,” I said finally.

Silas was quiet for a moment. Then he asked, “a woman?”

“Yes.”

“At the club?”

“Yes.”

Silas moved closer amd stood beside me at the window. He did not look at me. He just looked out at the city too and asked, “do I know her?”

“No.” I replied without hesitation.

“Does she know who you are?”

“No.”

Silas let out a huge breath. “So what you are saying now is that you disappeared with a stranger? A woman no one knows about. A woman who does not know you are an Alpha?”

“That is correct.”

“And you spent the night with her.”

I did not answer that because I did not need to.

Silas was quiet again as he was obviously processing the information.

“That is not like you,” he said finally. “You do not do random women. You have never done random women. You have Nova waiting for you at home. You have family obligations. You have a pack to think about, and you disappeared with a woman whose name you do not even know.”

I turned to face him. “You think I do not know all of that?”

“I think you are not telling me something,” Silas said in a more concerned manner. “I think something happened last night that you did not expect. And I think you are standing here in the clothes you wore yesterday, because you could not sleep and could not stop thinking about her.”

I laughed. Not because what he said was funny, but because I was just tired.

“I met an interesting woman,” I said. “That is all. We agreed it was a one night thing and nothing more. I do not even know her name.”

Silas watched me intensely. Then he sighed and asked, “are you okay with that?”

“I have to be.” I shrugged.

“But why?”

I looked back at the city and my chest tightened. Her face flashed in my mind again and I remembered the way she had looked at me, the way she had said “I want to forget” like those three words carried a heavy weight in her heart.

“Because I have family obligations to think about,” I said quietly. “Because I cannot just be with any random woman. Because it is good tbat we did not exchange names. For my safety and for the pack’s best interest.”

Silas was quiet for a long moment. Then he nodded slowly.

“You are right,” he said. “It is good you did not exchange names. You do not need that complication. Not with Nova’s family watching you and also, not with the alliance on the line.”

I said nothing.

“But was it worth it?” Silas asked. “At least tell me that much.”

I thought about her again. The way she had smiled. The way she touched me. The way she had looked at me like I was the only thing in the room. The way her body had felt beneath mine and the way she had whispered in the dark.

My body reacted before my mind could stop it. I clenched my hands at my sides and took deep breaths to cool the heat spreading in my body.

“Yes,” I said finally, and my voice came out rougher than I intended. “It was worth it.”

Silas looked at me for a long moment and saw something in my face, something I could not hide.

“You are still thinking about her,” he said. And it was not a question.

I did not deny it.

Silas let out a long breath and straightened up. “Good. Then do not think about her anymore. She is gone and you will never see her again. You have more important things to focus on.”

I nodded and tried to pull myself together. Silas was right. She was gone and I would never see her again.

But her scent was still in my nose and her taste was still on my tongue. She was everywhere, even when she was gone.

I shook the thought away.

“The convoy is ready,” Silas said, going back to buisness. “We are prepared and our people are ready to visit the pack house.”

I nodded. I had almost forgotten Declan. My old friend.

“Declan called again,” Silas said. “About two hours before you got here.”

I turned to face him fully and asked, “what did he say?”

“He said he is expecting you and has already prepared for your visit. He said it has been a while since you were there. Too long, actually. His exact words were ‘it has been too long, Silas. Tell Ronan I miss him.’”

I smiled. Declan had always been dramatic. Even when we were young, Declan had a way of making everything feel like a performance.

“It has been a while,” I admitted. “More than three years.”

“Yes,” Silas nodded. “And in that time, he got married. You have not even met his Luna yet.”

I shook my head. I had heard about the wedding and Declan had sent an invitation, but I had been dealing with boarder disputes and was not able to attend. But I sent a gift instead. A nice and expensive one.

“I have not met her,” I said. “What is her name again?”

“Mira,” Silas said. “I heard she is quiet and loyal. Good for the pack.”

I nodded. Every Alpha needed a Luna and Declan had chosen his.

“Well, let us not keep him waiting,” I said, going to fetch my bag. “Is everything ready?”

Silas nodded. “The convoy is waiting downstairs and our people are in position. We can leave whenever you are ready.”

I looked around the penthouse one more time and saw the glass of water I had not drunk, the window where I stood thinking about her, and raised my head to see the bed where I had not slept.

Because I was with her.

I closed my eyes amd tired to push her out of my mind one last time.

But I could still feel her hands on my skin. I could still hear her voice in my ear. My body remembered everything — the heat, the sounds, the way she had called me, even if she did not know my name.

I could not forget her.

I shook my head and closed my eyes shut as I tried to clear away any memory of her.

“I am ready.” I said finally.

Then I walked out the door and Silas followed closely behind me as we left the penthouse behind.