FIVE - BLAIR

Out of nowhere, Hunter asks if I live with my boyfriend.

“It was just, I saw a guy leaving your apartment earlier, I just assumed...”

“Oh! Him...” I’m not sure how to respond. I don’t know him well enough to divulge that kind of information just yet. Well, actually, I don’t quite know him at all.

During dinner, it felt like I was the one doing all the talking. Hunter sat back and mostly listened, asking a few questions here and there. He didn’t share many personal details about himself, except that he was moving closer to work. He didn’t seem to mind it, but he definitely didn’t seem excited about spending time with me. Maybe he just wanted some time alone after a long day of moving and I intruded on that by inviting myself along to have dinner with him.

Why do I always do this... always acting thoughtlessly before considering the other person’s feelings.

“He’s just a friend,” is the reply I give to his question, probably unconvincingly. Well, it’s not completely a lie. We are friends; it's not like he's my boyfriend or anything.

Before I know it, we’re already at the top of the third flight of stairs. The night we had felt like a mediocre date, ending in the guy walking me to my door with hopes of coming inside. The sexual attraction certainly was there, although mentally it felt like we were not on the same page. Suddenly I feel nervous.

It’s not like he would try to pull something on me on the first day we met, right? And certainly not while I am dressed like this?

But why did he inadvertently try to ask if I had a boyfriend? Maybe I should invite him in and see where it goes? No, that’s probably a bad idea... we are neighbours after all. How awkward would it be to have a one night stand with your neighbour and have to see him all the time. Bad Blair! It’s ok to just have guy friends without benefits too! I’d best just go home and do some work...

I pat my stomach in contentment. “Perfect! Now I’m ready to tackle the day!”

Hunter laughs for the first time that night and gives me an inquisitive look, “Does dinner usually mark the start of your day?”

I laugh, too. “I do my best work at night.”

“And what is it exactly... that you do?”

Another question I don’t know how to answer.

“I guess I do a lot of things. I create art, I write poetry, I restore furniture, I teach, I study. I don’t know what exactly that makes me.”

“That’s ok, I guess you’re still finding your way.” Hunter shrugs, sticking his hands into his pockets.

Immediately, that rubs me the wrong way. Any attraction or warm fuzzy feeling I had felt towards him dissipates in the matter of seconds. His words are so patronizing. “I never said I was still finding my way. This is just how I live. And what exactly is it that you do?” I can hear it in my own voice that my friendly tone has turned into annoyance.

“I work at a hedge fund downtown.” He says with an unmasked sense of pride. I roll my eyes internally. So he’s one of those types of guys.

“Hmm, well that makes sense.” I say flatly, definitely ready to end the night here. “Well good luck with your new apartment and everything.”

“Thanks,” Hunter says, just as flatly, as he must have sensed the change in tone in my voice. “Good night.”

I’m standing there, a little bit shocked to be honest. He doesn’t even apologize for what he’s said!

I turn right around without even responding and start fumbling with my keys. Why did I bother to lock this damn door?

After I enter my apartment, I slam my keys down on my coffee table.

What a miserable guy. Who does he think he is?! He thinks he’s all that, just because he has some cushy job in finance. He couldn’t even be bothered to make conversation during dinner, what the hell was I even trying so hard to be friends for?

Sure, I wouldn’t mind fucking him but that’s probably all that he’s good for anyway. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with someone like that, who looks down on people who don’t live according to the conventional 9-5 life.

Anyway, who the hell is he to tell me I’m still finding my way? I’m living fabulously doing what I love, pursuing my PhD, and earning great money from my multiple income sources. What’s it to him that I don’t have a “real job”?

The more I thought about it, the more angry I became. I decide to blast some music and get to work on my latest restoration project currently overtaking my dining room to take my mind off my stupid arrogant new neighbour. Well, that’s the last time I’ll ever try to be neighbourly with him again.