Prologue

"Don't you dare turn your back at me you ungrateful woman!" I heard a loud scream from behind me.

It echoed throughout the mansion and I stopped in my tracks because of it. 

"Come back here! I'm still talking to you! Don't be fucking rude, you child!" she added in an angry voice all that's missing is for her to curse at me.

I automatically bit my lower lip to hold back the tears that had been threatening to stream down from my eyes. To further control the tears that were welling up in my eyes, I clenched my fists as my chest gradually tightened from the excessive restraint.

"You have absolutely no manners, even before! You are such a disrespectful person! Face me now, Shantelle!" she shouted again and before I could take a deep breath to prepare for facing her again, I suddenly felt her tight grip on my right arm.

She violently forced me to face her and as I expected, her palm quickly landed on my left cheek. The force of the slap she made sent me crashing down to the floor.

I couldn't help but hear the gasps and cries of our maids who had been watching everything unfold after I fell as if we were on a shooting. I'm sure they'll take pity on me again – the thing I hate the most. 

"That's what you got for being so stubborn! You should learn to obey my orders and nothing else!" she hissed and based on her voice, it sounds like she wants to hurt me again.

Even though I still felt the pain from my cheek, I still forced my head to move from her direction so that I could look at her evilly.

I feel like I've suddenly become a different person. I no longer cared about what might happen to me because of what I was going to say to her right now. I had enough and I think this is all too much already!

I took a deep breath first before answering her. Even though I also knew my voice might break, I still proceeded.

"Are you serious?! Are you hearing yourself, Mom?! You really want me to follow your orders?!" I began as I looked up at her. "Fine then, go ahead and tell me first! Tell me, who in the right mind would sell and make her own daughter marry someone she doesn't even know just to increase the wealth of the entire family and for the business to prosper?! Who, Mom?!" I asked her while still holding back my tears.

I could see that she was even angrier because of what I said, which is why I wasn't surprised anymore when she came closer to me to touch and tug me at my hair.

"What right do you have to question me, you ungrateful animal?! You are just my child! You should be thankful to me for bringing you into this world even though I wanted to abort you the moment I found out I was pregnant with you! You should be thankful I gave you a family and I didn't abandon you or bring you in an orphanage! You have no debt of gratitude! No wonder no one loves you in this family because of your behavior and for being the most ungrateful!" she said furiously as she glared at me.

Even though I've heard those words from her many times already, I still can't help but feel hurt. It's like I'm being stabbed repeatedly in the heart because of the pain of the words she said.

Because of the accumulated resentment that had built up over the years, I couldn't stop myself from answering her again even though I know it's bad. I've really lost all care about the worst things she still could do to me at this very moment. I just really want to let out all the resentment I've been harboring for a long time now so that somehow, I can finally feel lighter inside because honestly, it's really too heavy and I can't carry it anymore.

"Then, thank you! Thank you, Mom! Thank you so much for bringing me into this fucking world! Thank you for giving me this family! A family that doesn't even love me! A family that doesn't even see my worth! A family that doesn't appreciate and wants me!" I said one after another in a trembling voice. "Thank you very much, Mom, but I wish you hadn't brought me in this lifetime if this is the world you were going to put me through!" I emotionally added.

I couldn't help but sound like a reprimand because I was so hurt and for the first time in my twenty two years of existence on this earth, I let my tears fall... in front of my mother... who hasn't shown me a single bit of love since she gave birth to me.

"You're really so ungrateful! You're so dramatic! You're so arrogant! I clothed and fed you and this is what you will give me in return?! You're really a disgrace to my entire family!" She said angrily and once again, she pulled my hair and slapped me so hard.

Instead of fighting back, I just let her hurt me. I even let her scratch me also in different parts of my body.

I just stared at her while my tears kept falling. I just cried silently as I watched her.

I couldn't believe that there was a parent like her in this world. How I wish I had gone to a different family and not the one I have now. Even if I will end up in a poor family, it's just okay for me as long as there is love and appreciation for each other. I really hope that my fate will be different in the next life.

Even though I could feel the pain in my cheeks and lips from her strong slaps as well as the pain from my scalp, I remained silent, just letting her do whatever she wanted to do to me, which only made her angrier.

"You can't fool me with your tears! Get up now and get ready because we're going to your fiance tonight!" She said while panting, still in a rage after slapping and hurting me.

Even though I already felt weak, I still forced myself to stand up on my own. I could feel how messy my hair was and the pain I felt from my lip doubled when I accidentally bit it after trying to put my scratched arms on the floor for support so I could slowly stand up.

When I saw from my peripheral vision the movement of some of our maids, planning to help me, I immediately raised my right hand to stop them from their plan because I'm sure that Mommy will hurt them also without hesitation and worst of all, they might even be fired once they helped me and I didn't want that to happen to them. It's better for me to be the one to get hurt and not for anyone else to suffer, especially since this is still a family matter even though the people I consider family don't really consider me as their family.

I just mustered up the courage to stand up immediately so they wouldn't be dragged anymore and when I was able to stand up properly, I immediately looked at my Mom straight from her eyes before I spoke while my heart was slowly breaking into pieces because of the overwhelming pain that I am feeling.

"I've done everything and sacrificed so much for this family, Mom, just to have you all accept and love me but it still wasn't enough! And I'll tell you now, Mom, that I'm tired. I'm so tired of proving myself and trying to force myself into this family that's why right now, I will do the honor to remove myself from your family. I know you've been wanting this to happen for a long time already, so Mom once again, I don't want to be a part of this family anymore and thank you all so much for making me feel that I am just nothing but a disgrace because otherwise, I wouldn't be as strong as I am now especially that I know I'll be all alone from now on," I said bravely in a trembling voice while I was still staring at her, hoping that even just a little bit... just a fucking little bit, she could finally see from my eyes how much I was hurting. How much her eldest daughter is hurting so much right now because of her.

The anger on her face still hadn't gone away right after I spoke, that's why I didn't wait for her to speak anymore because I know that she will only hurt me again and say hurtful words and our conversation will just never end.

I quickly ran out of the mansion towards my car.

I saw how the security guards scattered throughout the mansion were alerted when they saw me which made me nervous and before they could stop me, I quickly turned on the engine of my car and started driving.

When I was near the big gate, I only remembered that I couldn't just leave without Mommy's permission. I was about to think of a way out when the gate suddenly moved until it slowly opened, so I wasted no time and immediately sped my car away before the guards could close it again.

When I saw from the side mirror that some security guards were already chasing me after I passed the gate, I pressed the gas pedal harder to speed up my driving so that they wouldn't catch up with me.

Because of the speed of my driving, in just a few seconds, I was already away from the mansion but instead of slowing down, I didn't do it. I still drove fast while my tears couldn't stop falling. I also couldn't stop myself from sobbing while my heart was also aching with pain after what happened between me and my mom at the mansion.

This wasn't the first time my Mom had hurt me. It wasn't the first time she had said hurtful words to me either but even then, I never answered her back. It was just this only time because I didn't want to follow what she wanted to happen in my life.

Before, I was always following her orders to date the investor's sons just so they would invest in our company, but now that she wants to sell me and make me marry the son of the richest business tycoon in the country so that our business can grow and become more prosper, I did not longer agree because it's too much, especially since I don't believe in the validity of marriage and I don't want her to control my life anymore.

This is probably the right time for me to stop being crazy about them loving me. It's also probably time for me to stop forcing myself into their family. I know that I can live alone because in my whole existence, all I have is only myself and nothing else.

Because of my sobbing, my eyes also got blurry. I already can't see the cars in front of me and before I could slow down, I realized that I was heading towards a big tree.

I tried to step on the brake pedal but it didn't work. I was immediately overcome with fear and anxiety because of that. I tried to step on it again and again but it still didn't work and before I could open my car door to jump out, my car already crashed into a large tree.

I felt my head hit the dashboard hard even though I was wearing a seatbelt and because of the strong impact of my car towards the tree, and before the darkness slowly consumed me, I just suddenly felt peace and  felt ready for whatever may happen to me, be it alive or hopefully be dead because again, no one in my family will worry about me even if something bad happens to me. They'll be even happier if I happen to disappear that's why I hope that right now is the end of my suffering in this world – A world I never asked to be in in the very first place.