KISS OF PAIN

Chapter 9

5TH  FEBRUARY 1984

“Maybe we can do something at swim team for our final project”, Daniel Wong said as we headed for lunch.

I smiled lightly at the idea. It was actually one of the best we’ve been able to come up with over the last couple of days and I wasn’t about to dismiss it. Somi giggled excitedly, and for some reason I think the rest of us knew exactly why. Ritz however remained silent as our pack of four settled into a not-so comfortable silence.

To be honest, I’m kind of glad that I’m not alone anymore (even if it’s only been for a couple of days). This project has really taken my mind off so many things, including Jeongguk. We’ve been dating in secret for some months now and he’s been very good to me. Occasionally, he does fly into a jealous rage and then devour my lips when he manages to catch me alone, like the time he found me in the Math teacher’s office giggling about a not-so funny Dad joke. He had given me a stern disapproving look and then during lunch, he’d dragged me into the janitor’s closet and made me breathless. Literally. Apart from the occasional tension in the air when he’s around me and the gossip we stir anytime he does sometime out of the ordinary for me, like the times, he would barge out of class and cause a distraction anytime I was being bullied by Ariana’s friends. Or the times, he’d bring me lunch and sit at the table with me to watch me eat…I would say he has been a great secret boyfriend.

Then there were the times when he would actually be pressed that I was actually opening up to people and trying to make friends at school. One time after PE, some boy had told me about the menstrual spot I had on my pants. Not that I hadn’t known, I mean who would be bleeding in between their legs and not know?. I’d misjudged my tampon though and thought it would last me through the 3hour PE only to get that sour results. As I saw, Jeongguk approach me, I rushed towards the restrooms in an attempt to avoid the embarrassment that would follow if he were noticed my messy pants. He’d mistaken that reaction however and thought I was flirting to get him jealous. He’d barged into every stall in the restroom and almost broken the door down. When I’d walked out of the stall later on, he’d grabbed me and almost chocked me. Tears streaming down my face, I’d showed him my messy pants. He did apologize after that, but that memory still scared me anytime I thought about it.

Somehow, I’ve become used to his swift behaviors. He’s become very popular as well and made a couple of friends from the dance major. I don’t really like them though and I’m especially uncomfortable around Peek. The guy was always walking around school with a video camera and obsessing over his private collection of photographs. No one, not even his best friends had ever seen this so-called collection. He practically kept them in a safe in his school locker…and people thought I’m weird. Jeongguk’ s been busy with his own project, so he’s barely been up to any mischief. He does text me every hour to check in though so maybe that’s how he’s managing to hold up.

At lunch, I saw him among his friends. His eyes however were set on me, and I sent a small smile. He didn’t smile back but I saw his eyes twinkle like a five year old. We sat down by our table and discussed our project a little bit more to polish some finer details. We settled on a 1920’s gay themed story about two boys in the athletics club. The characters Ray and Ban were supposed to be a classic enemies-to-lovers trope where they hate each other’s guts but they unfortunately end up sharing the same bedroom at the sports dorm. Ray being bisexual and Ban being gay but each unable to come out due to the pressures of society. They find warmth in each other’s embrace and experience pleasures that were ‘forbidden’ in their society.

“Storyline’s pretty impressive”, I heard a familiar voice say over my shoulder when I finished briefing everyone about my idea. I stiffened visible and tried not to overreact. I didn’t acknowledge his presence; Somi however was staring up at him like her next meal. He squeezed in and sat right next to me.

“I want to hear more”, he said out loud “Baby”, he added in a whisper. Clearing my throat, I continued to talk about some of the major events that we could use to shape the story and the venues where we could shoot the scenes.

‘Ban is the stereotypical shy gay character that refuses to mingle because of judgement and Ray can be the hot , confident, sweet guy everyone wants to frolic with’, Somi added while staring at Jeongguk seductively. I nodded briefly while thinking about character development and who would be a perfect match for our characters. Honestly, Ritz would be the great playing the character for Ban, but his only interest is in sound production. I made a mental note to catch him alone after class and convince him. Now to find the person who’d bring Ray’s character to life. I was still ignoring when he leaned in and whispered, “Are we pretending I don’t exist now?”. I drank some water instead and turned to look at Daniel. “Daniel, you’re in charge of video editing, Somi will take charge of costumes, Ritz is great for sounds and I’ll do the directing. If all that sounds good…we can order lunch and get back to class”.

 Jeongguk must not have liked that.

I felt his fingers circle my waist in a possessive grip and I forced myself to look at his face. He leaned in again and whispered once more; ‘I have to act rowdy to get you to spare me a glance now. Maybe you need a lesson on how to be obedient….”

I gulped audibly making Daniel pass me his water bottle. I made an attempt to grab it to save myself some of the embarrassment, but Jeongguk stopped me with a subtle brush of his hand on me. He grabbed a bottle from his bag, one I had never seen him carry before and slowly brought it to his lips. He took a drink and then licked his lips. Then he gave me a smirk before handing it over to me. I looked around the table to find everyone staring at us suspiciously and I felt trapped. Take the bottle and rekindle gossip, reject the bottle and unleash Jeongguk’ s anger.