로그인NICO
The water is hot enough to sting, just the way I like it. The steam curls around me and blurs the tiled room. My head tips back and the spray pounds against my neck and shoulders, grounding me.
I contemplate closing my eyes and falling asleep right here in the shower because… why not?
I've done it before, back then, when it got so bad. I actually slept under the shower that day, to see if it could wash away all my sins, but it didn't.
I should be thinking about a dozen other things. My dwindling list of allies, how long I can push Sasha before he decides I’m not worth the oxygen I’m stealing or the main reason I was sent here.
Instead, I'm thinking about that day, that place. Him.
Then I feel it.
The prickle at the back of my neck.
You know the feeling when someone’s eyes are on you, heavy enough to press into your skin. Like a predator watching its prey, but the thing is, I’ve never been good at being prey.
I turn my head just enough to see him.
Sasha. Well, colour me surprised.
He's standing in the doorway like a statue carved out of ice, and doesn’t move. I don’t think he even blinks.
He doesn’t say a word. Just watches.
And fuck me, that stare, flat and unblinking, full of things he’d never admit out loud.
For a beat, neither of us moves. The only sound is the water slapping tile and the rough pull of my own breath.
I could cover myself. Pretend I didn’t see him. Act like a sane person. But hey, where’s the fun in that?
Instead, I turn fully, letting him see me in my full glory. He's privileged.
The water slides down my chest, over my stomach, catching at the curve of my cock. Said cock is already thickening just from the weight of his stare.
His eyes drop for a split second. Just one. But I catch it.
Interesting. I wonder what reaction I will get if I ‘unconsciously’ touch myself.
“Well, well,” I murmur, loud enough for him to hear over the spray. “Didn’t know we were doing the whole… voyeur thing.”
Still no reaction. No shift in his stance.
God, he’s infuriating.
And maybe that’s why I do it. Maybe that’s why my hand moves, slowly at first. Curling around myself, stroking lazily and deliberately. The kind of pace you take when you want to make someone wait for it.
His gaze doesn’t flicker. Doesn’t blink.
But it’s not indifference.
No, this is worse. This is hunger pretending to be boredom.
My smirk curves sharply. “You could come in, you know. Water’s hot.”
Nothing. But he can't hide the tent already forming in his pants.
So I up and lengthen my strokes. My grip tightens.
I move my hips in a rhythm that tortures him. I know it does.
Every slide of my hand is exaggerated, slick with heat and water, my thumb pressing just right.
His jaw ticks.
I can already taste my Victory.
“Gonna just stand there, Sasha?” My voice is low now, all smoke and challenge. “Or are you gonna do something about your little problem.
I don’t expect him to answer. And he doesn’t.
He just keeps watching.
And for some twisted reason, that’s hotter than anything else he could’ve done.
By the time I'm close, aching and biting my teeth on a curse, his stare is burned into me like a brand.
Who knew I had exhibitionist traits? I sure didn't.
I've never done anything like this, and yet, it feels so right.
I come hard, against my fist and the tile. The thought that he just watched me come doesn't deter me as I stroke harder emptying my sac with a low grunt.
Damn, that felt great.
The water washes it all away in seconds.
He stands there for another beat, then walks away.
But his eyes?
Those will stick for some time.
——————
I towel off, hair dripping down my shoulders, and swipe my phone off the counter.
I find one missed call from her. Of course.
I sigh and hit video call.
“’ Bout time,” my sister’s face pops up, framed by that messy bun she always does when she’s been pacing. “You look…wait. Are you naked?”
“Relax,” I say, leaning back against the counter with the towel slung low. “It’s not like you haven’t seen worse at the beach house, besides you're family so this is wholesome content”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, and I’ve been in therapy ever since.
Nico for the love of God, put some clothes on, per favore. And wholesome isn't the word I’d use for you. ”
I grin. “Harsh. I missed you too, Sorellina.”
She pauses, and I catch the flicker in her eyes. The one she gets when she wants to ask if I’m okay but won’t, because we both know I’ll dodge it.
“You look… twitchy,” she says finally. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” I lie, too easily. “Just a long day.”
Her gaze sharpens, but she lets it go. Out loud, at least. “Papà asked if you were keeping your head down.”
I chuckle, low. “You know me.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she mutters. “You can’t keep poking at people over there. The Russians aren’t…” she stops herself, glancing off-screen, voice dropping “they aren’t family, Nico. They don’t forgive. Ever.”
I feel that stare from earlier crawl over my skin again.
“They bleed like anyone else,” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “You could come home, you know. Just saying.”
“Not my style,”
She exhales through her nose, the way she does when she’s biting back ten other arguments. “Fine. Just… call me before I have to hunt you down, okay?”
“Sure,” I say. “You’ll be the first to know if I get murdered.”
“That’s not funny.”
“It wasn’t a joke.”
We sit there in silence for a second longer before she gives me one last glare and hangs up.
I drop the phone on the counter and catch my reflection in the fogged mir
ror.
Still damp and still smirking.
But my mind flashes back to the main reason why I am here.
Nico's PovA year.I know it's been a year because Lucy calls every anniversary of everything, and she calls this morning to say happy anniversary and I answer from bed and Sasha, who is already up because he is always already up, hears me talking and brings coffee without being asked, which he has done every morning for three hundred and sixty-five mornings and which I have not yet stopped noticing."Tell her the coffee is good," he says."He says the coffee is good," I tell Lucy."That's the most romantic thing he's ever said," she says."I'll tell him.""Don't, he'll stop doing it." She pauses. "How is it. Really."I look at him reading at the other end of the kitchen table. The pen behind his ear. The briefing he's annotating. The untouched cup, second one, always the second one he forgets about."Good," I say. "Really good.""Good," she says, and I can hear that she means it.We walk in the afternoon.That's the thing we do now, when the work allows and the day is mild enough, we
Sasha's Pov The man's name is Renato Amari.He's fifty-one years old, a former parishioner from the priest's original parish in Salerno, and the letter writer, which confirms the name Nico gave me. He isn't a ghost. He's a man with a grievance and a calculated plan and the very specific confidence of someone who believes that proximity to a secret gives him power over the people in it.I find this out in a room off the main corridor, away from the music and the candlelight, with Dima and one of his men present and Renato in a chair that he chose to sit in himself, which tells me he's been planning this moment.He expected Nico.He got me.That seems to recalibrate him slightly."You're the Russian," he says."I am," I say."Where is he.""With people who care about him." I sit across from him. "Which is not a description that currently applies to you, so."He looks at me. He's not frightened yet, which means he still thinks the letter is leverage."The information I have—" he starts.
Nico's Pov I don't tell him everything that night.Not because I'm hiding it. Because I need to carry it alone for a few hours first, to see what it weighs, to understand what it asks of me before I bring it to him. That's what she's been helping me learn the difference between isolation and processing. I'm not shutting him out. I'm just sitting with my own fear first so it doesn't come out sideways.The letter burns in my pocket like fire, but I push it down. Tonight I need Sasha more than I need air. We are in our bed the night before the pre-wedding event. The lights are low. Sasha lies on his back, watching me with dark, patient eyes.I climb on top of him slowly. “Tonight I want to take care of you,” I whisper. “Let me.”He nods once. For the first time in our healing, he lets me lead.I kiss him deep and slow, tongues sliding together while my hands roam over his chest. I feel his heart beating fast under my palm. I reach down and stroke his cock until it is hard and leaking. S
Sasha's PovFederico Vescari is twenty-six years old and has been running a quiet parallel operation inside his own family for fourteen months. That's what the full picture looks like when Dima lays it out on the table Thursday morning. Someone taught him how to build it, which means Federico is not the origin, he's a channel.We already know the origin.Papadis."He's been feeding route intelligence to the Greek faction since before the Karalis proposal," Dima says. "The proposal was partly built on what Federico gave them. They knew the Vescari logistics well enough to design terms your side couldn't absorb without destabilising the Bratva northern agreements."Nico is sitting across the table from me. He's been still since Dima started talking, the particular stillness that isn't calm, that's something held in place."He was at the engagement announcement dinner," Nico says."Yes," Dima says."He toasted us." His voice is completely flat. "He stood up and toasted us."Nobody says
Nico's Pov We find him in two days.A safehouse in the Belyayevo district, registered to a shell company that took Dima's analyst twelve hours to trace. Ground floor, back exit onto a service lane, two men outside who are not particularly good at looking like they're not outside a safehouse.Sasha pulls the car to a stop half a block down."East entrance," he says. "You take it. I'll go through the front when you're in position.""How long.""Three minutes."I check the time. "Three minutes," I say.I get out.The service lane is dark and narrow and smells like wet concrete and somewhere behind me a cat does something in a bin. I move along the wall to the back door and I wait. The two minutes feel longer than two minutes, which they always do when you're standing in a lane by yourself about to go through a door.My phone vibrates once. Sasha's signal.I go through the door.The man is at a table in the main room. Mikhail Petrov, twenty-nine, Bratva auxiliary intelligence, recruited
Sasha's Pov My therapist sends a follow-up note, which she doesn't usually do. Three lines, the gist of it is that what Nico said in the room was the right thing at the right time and that I should let it land rather than filing it and moving past it, which is what I would normally do, which she apparently knows, which means she's been paying attention.I read it standing at the kitchen counter. I put the phone down. I stand there for a moment.Then I let it land.It takes about thirty seconds. It feels like something settling in the foundation. Nothing dramatic. Just a weight redistributing itself into a position it was always supposed to occupy and didn't.Nico comes in, sees my face, says nothing, pours his coffee, and sits down.That's it. That's all.I sit too."Wednesday session or Thursday," he says, meaning which day to book the next one."Thursday," I say. "I have the port authority follow-up Wednesday morning.""Thursday then." He opens his laptop. "Lucy sent forty-seven p
SASHASvetlana. The name detonates in my gut and makes me want to throw up whatever is left in there. Memories assault me, screaming, begging, sweat, the pungent smell of piss. Aiden shuts his eyes for a moment as if trying to reign in his rage. He remembers, in
SASHAMy eyes flicker open and i immediately regret it because the white light threatens to blind my eyes.Where the fuck am I? Last I checked, I don't sleep with the light on. Ever.Except occasionally when Nico..Nico. The scent of antisep
NICOThe whiskey burns my throat, but it doesn't fill the hole in my chest.I'm three glasses deep in some shithole bar on the edge of the city. No one knows me here and that makes it perfect. The music in here is loud, and I love loud. Although, I would appreciate it if everyone stopped laughing an
NICO“Do you see that, Aleksander?” The Pakhan's voice slices through the room, laced with venom that makes the hairs on my arms stand on end. “This boy you’ve been frolicking with has been using you to funnel information to his father. Now, most of our partners in Greece have cut ties, shipments







