Sometimes I wonder if you feel the same deep emotions as I do

Becky's POV.

  "Hello Becky, since you've decided to start hiding from me, I see no need to stay in your house..."

   What have I done? When did I hide from your mum? I spoke to myself, trying to recall the situation. The only thing I could remember was telling her that I was already at Sebastian's place after she kept calling me persistently. I sat down on the chair and waited, contemplating where my mum might be.

  "Maria's place?" I raised my right index finger, indicating my thoughts. So, I grabbed my phone and called my mother's closest friend.

  "Hello, Maria. Good evening. How was your day?"

  "I'm doing great, Becky..."

  "Is my mom at your place?" I interrupted her.

  "No."

  "Okay, I've been trying to reach her on her phone, but it's not connecting. Alright, bye. I'll keep trying."

  I ended the call and before I could dial my mom's number again, there was a knock on the door.

  "Mum!" I called.

I had a strong feeling that my mom was standing right there at the door. It was an instinct I couldn't ignore. I smiled and called out her name again.

  "Mum..." I stood up, went to the door, and opened it. I tried to embrace her, but she stepped back and showed signs of displeasure.

  "What have I done, Mum?" I sighed, but she remained silent for a moment.

  "When did you start hiding from me?" She asked.

  "Please come inside, Mum," I tried to persuade her to enter.

  "I'm here to collect what I forgot, and then I'm going to my apartment."

  "Mum, when did this start? This is your home. Why do you want to separate from me? We've been together, Mum."

  "It all started when you made a fool of me at Sebastian's house."

  "How? When?"

  "This morning. I knew you would come looking for me after you heard that I wasn't feeling well. I intentionally said it out loud, and it trapped you."

  "Mum? When?"

  "I was at your boyfriend's house this morning, and you kept hiding from me. Weren't you the one who accidentally broke a plate in the kitchen?"

  "Me?" I touched my chest. "No, I lied to you that I had gone there. I was actually leaving work at Daniella's place..."

  "Then who was in Sebastian's house?" she asked.

  "How would I know? You were the one who went there. Did you see anyone?"

  "Hmmm... No, but... there was someone in that house."

  "How can you be so sure when you didn't see anyone except Sebastian?" I questioned.

  "So you're not the one?" My mum looked into my eyes.

  "I'm not. Please come inside; it's getting dark." I stepped aside, allowing my mom to pass, and I asked, "Is that why you wrote the letter on the table?" Then I locked the door.

  "Yes," my mom replied as she sat down and she asked, "When are you going back to work?"

  "Tomorrow."

  "When are you going to Sebastian's house?" she asked, and I couldn't find the words to respond. But I couldn't help but keep smiling.

  "This is not a matter to smile about. Sebastian has changed. Every relationship has its ups and downs. The way Sebastian spoke to me here shows that he has changed. He came here with two roses, and one of them was for you. Please, give Sebastian another chance. Besides, he needs your support."

  "Why is it that whenever I decide to break up with Sebastian, something sympathetic happens?"

  "That may be a sign of true love," my mum said sincerely, and I burst out laughing. My long laughter surprised my mum, and she stared at me.

  "What's funny? Do you remember how excited you were when you told me about how Sebastian came into your life? Why can't you awaken that feeling you had for him initially..."

  "But Mum, I've been thinking about something lately," I interrupted.

  "And what is that?"

  "I think I'm in love with someone else."

  "Someone else?" She raised her voice.

  "Yes, I'm serious."

  "Are you cheating on Sebastian?"

  "It's not that I'm cheating on him, but I've started disconnecting my heart from him."

  "Please, don't say that. Who is this person, and when did you start seeing him?"

  "I... I..." I found it hard to say, but I couldn't contain my excitement to talk about him.

  "Can't you speak?" She seemed impatient.

  "I met him at Sebastian's parents' anniversary."

  "Have you seen him before?"

  "No, but I've tried to stop thinking about him, yet the more I try, the more I find myself drawn to him."

  "Has Sebastian met this person?" she asked.

  "Hmm... I don't know how to explain it."

  "Becky, let me tell you the truth. I think you're infatuated with that guy. You can't see someone once at a party and claim to be in love. Love is more than a feeling. It's a choice that you must nurture regardless of the circumstances. Becky, I promise you, Sebastian has changed for the better. Forget about any emotions you have for someone else. I'm not biased in my judgment because Sebastian saved my life. It would be wonderful for you and Sebastian to be together. I can't wait to see your children and hold them."

  That evening, my mum tried to make me more mature and face the reality of practical love. She said love isn't a fairytale but something we have to fight for. The more she emphasized it, the harder it became for me to let go of my feelings for Kenneth.

  It has been three days since I last heard from Kenneth. I really wanted to know if I was making the right decision. I decided not to call or text him and see what would happen. But in every quiet moment, thoughts of Kenneth filled my mind. I tried to distract myself with music, putting on my earphones, but even the mention of love in any song reminded me of Kenneth.

  My mum wanted me to go back to Sebastian and see if we could rebuild our broken love with determination. I didn't know my mum was so good at motivating someone. She poured her heart and soul into helping me see the good in Sebastian and all he had done for us. But amidst her speech, my mind kept picturing Kenneth. I nodded along to her words, slowly trying to let go of the stronghold Kenneth had on my heart.

  "Take the emotions you felt for that guy you saw at the anniversary as a souvenir. Let it remind you of that moment, and that's all. That love won't withstand the test of time."

  "Hmm... a souvenir," I smiled, remembering that passionate night when I almost used my breasts to suffocate Kenneth. Then I burst out laughing.

  "What's so funny?" Mum asked, looking confused.

  "Oh, nothing. I just remembered something."

  "About the guy you saw at the anniversary?"

  "No, no, something else," I replied. I didn't want to mention that it was connected to Kenneth, as she might have asked for more details.

  "So, are you going to see Sebastian tomorrow?" she asked.

  "No, I need to find emotional balance first and try to neutralize my feelings."

  My mum looked at me for a while, and then we left the living room and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

  An hour and thirty minutes later, we finished eating, and I also took a bath and retreated to my room. And I was consumed by thoughts of someone my mum had asked me to forget. Kenneth and I hardly had a healthy conversation since he left. Deep down, I'm still angry at him for leaving me like that, as if I didn't matter to him.

  After deep contemplation, I finally decided to remove Kenneth from my heart. But before I could do that, I needed to express my feelings to him and let him know how I felt. Once he knew, I could finally move on. I didn't want to text him; I wanted to send an audio message so he could hear the tone of my voice. However, I didn't want my mum to overhear my words to Kenneth. I waited until almost midnight, making sure my mum, who was sleeping in her room, was deeply asleep. I pressed the recording button on my phone and spoke the following words:

  "Sometimes I wonder if you feel the same deep emotions as I do, if you have these thoughts that I desperately want you to know. Maybe you don't realize how powerful your smile is, especially that one particular smile that melted me when I first saw you at the airport.

  Since the moment I met you, you've become the person I search for in a room full of a crowd of people. Some people say it means something, but I'm not sure what it means. I desperately tried to find you after that night when you gave me the sweetest pleasure I've ever experienced. All I heard was that you were on your way to London. It broke my heart to see you go, but I don't know if you feel the same way, and I don't want to assume.

  If love could be chosen, who wouldn't choose a love like yours? Perhaps my love for you wasn't meant to last. But before I move on, know that you are the first person I truly hope never leaves me alone."

  I pressed the send button and then realized there were tears in my eyes. I switched off my phone. But the next morning, as soon as I turned on my phone, I saw multiple voice messages from Kenneth.

  "What did he send me?" I wondered, taking a deep breath, and I was eager to listen to his reply.