The Longest Night

Grant's POV

The city lights blurred past as I drove. I didn't know where I was going to, I just knew I couldn't be in that house. Not with Finn's taste still lingering on my body or the ghost of his mouth still burning against my skin. My hands were shaking on the steering wheel as I gripped it tighter forcing myself to breathe in and out. Everything about my life had been mechanical for years. I wake up, go to work, then come home and pretend. I had built an empire on control, discipline and on never letting anyone see what I truly was. And in thirty seconds, or less, Finn had torn it all down.

I ended up at my office tower. It was the only place I could think of going. The glass monolith loomed against the night sky, cold and indifferent. I parked in my private garage, took the elevator up, and walked into my office. The lights turned on automatically and everything was exactly the way i left it. Orderly and safe. I collapsed into my leather chair and stared at the ceiling.

Finn.

His name echoed in my skull like a fucking prayer. I replayed every second, the way he'd looked at me when my towel slipped, he was not shocked or embarrassed. He was hungry and he stared and approached. He had dropped to his knees like he'd been waiting his whole life to do it. And then his mouth. God, his mouth. I have been with men before, in my twenties, when I was young and reckless and didn't care about reputation, but none of them had ever undone me like that. None of them had ever made me lose control so completely.

"Best I've ever had." I had said that out loud and i meant it.

I ran a hand over my face, disgusted with myself. He was nineteen and he was my stepson. He was young and confused and acting out, and I was the adult. I was supposed to stop him, i was supposed to push him away. Instead, I'd gripped his hair and let him take me apart. But it wasn't just the physical act that terrified me. It was the way he had looked at me after. There was no guilt in his eyes, only satisfaction.

I married Naomi because she was beautiful and famous, because she made me look like a family man, because she never asked too many questions. It was a transaction. She got my money and status while i got her image. We both got what we wanted. I'd convinced myself I was fine with that but Finn made me realize I was lying.

His green eyes. The way he said "Mr. Grant" like it was a secret between us. I'd been watching him for years without admitting it. He was sixteen when I first noticed something shift, a summer evening when I came home late, loosening my tie and i caught him staring. I told myself it was nothing. I told myself he was just a kid, that I was projecting, but today he made his move and I let him. I fell asleep on the leather couch in my office, still in my suit, haunted by the memory of green eyes looking up at me.

My phone buzzed at 6 AM.

I jolted awake, my neck stiff from the awkward position. The screen glowed with Naomi's name. I stared at it, my stomach twisting. I hadn't thought about her since I left the house. She had been in my thoughts even less over the past few years.

I answered. "Naomi."

Her voice was bright. "Grant, You're up early. Where are you?"

"Office. Late night." I kept my voice neutral. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." She laughed, light and musical. It was the laugh she used on red carpets, for photographers, when she was playing the role of the perfect wife. "I've been thinking, Grant. I've been thinking a lot about us."

I waited.

"I don't want a divorce anymore," she said. "I've been so stupid. I was caught up in my career, in the drama, in everything but us. But I love you, I really do and I want to try again. I want us to be a family."

I didn't speak.

"Grant? Say something."

Her voice was almost pleading and allmost sincere, but I knew her too well. She was never this affectionate unless she wanted something. Maybe she was scared of losing my money. Maybe she'd been dropped from a project and needed the stability or maybe she was just bored.

But she was right about one thing, we were supposed to be a family. And if I said no, if I told her I wanted the divorce, there would be questions. People would talk and they'd find out what I'd buried so carefully.

"Grant?" Her voice was sharper now. "Are you still there?"

"Yes." I swallowed. "I'm here."

"Good." She was smiling again, I could hear it. "I'm coming home, I'll be there by tonight. We can talk properly then, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you."

I didn't say it back.

"See you soon." She hung up.

I sat in the darkness of my office, staring at the blank screen. She was coming home. She wanted to be a wife and I was trapped, because I couldn't have the one person I actually wanted. I couldn't be who I actually was. I thought of Finn. His smile. His warmth. The way he'd looked at me like I was worth looking at.

And I knew, with absolute certainty, that I was about to lose him.