LOGINOne loud beep pulls me out of my sleep.I groan and fold myself, turning toward the other side of the bed like a burrito. Then the ringtone starts at full volume, filling the room. And I already know who is calling before I even open my eyes.I blink up at the ceiling, arms and legs spread wide across the mattress like a Christmas turkey. The phone keeps going until I finally drag it to my ear.“Isn’t it too early for this?” My voice comes out dense with sleep.I have had one of the longest terms. This entire week was supposed to be dedicated to sleeping. A full, uninterrupted, restorative sleeping until my body remembered what it felt like to be a human being again—“It is midterm holiday, Chancé.” Her voice is sharp and bright. “We have plans. Or did you forget?”Right. The plans. The ones we’ve been building since the beginning of term. The fun, and also getting back at Sasha. Finding something on her. Making her fall completely.“You know what — never mind. Just come outside. I’m
***~~~CHANCÉ~~~***I’m walking into the house when my phone beeps.I stop in the doorway, eyes dropping to the screen.Sasha Mackline and River Dawson have called it quits.My brows pull together. I close the door behind me slowly, still staring at my phone. Just last week they were photographed together. Her hand on his arm, his hand at her back, the whole performance. And now this?What happened between them?I kick my shoes off and drop onto my bed, reaching for my phone to call Cortney. The past few weeks have been exhausting for both of us in different ways. Me running after buses with Cort, sharing my lunch money with her, barely seeing her because she has to go straight home after school or straight to play rehearsal with barely a minute in between.She picks up on the second ring.“Hey.” I sink back into my pillows. Today’s exam was good. I could feel it — the answers coming cleanly, none of the blankness from last two weeks Thursday. “How are you doing?”“Tired. Bored. What
All of this has been haunting me.On the drive home, my mind won’t stop turning it over — Sasha, pregnant, in Paris. And the father being Marcus. My friend. Her stepbrother.My phone buzzes relentlessly the whole way. Sasha’s name flashing over and over until I finally turn it off completely and drive the rest of the way in silence.I pull into the driveway and sit in the parked car for a long moment. Then I reach for the papers again and read through them one more time. Slowly. Carefully.I’m certain. But my mind keeps pushing back against it. So I turn my phone back on. The messages and calls have stopped for now. I scroll through my old messages, looking for the number, and when I can’t find it fast enough I just type it in directly.It stares back at me from the screen.I click on it. Scroll up through the history.Marcus. It’s his. It has always been his.I groan and press my hand over my face.I don’t even want to picture it. The two of them fucking. It makes my stomach turn. I
I’m shocked. I’m confused.I stand on the stairs, hands in my pockets, and watch Sasha from a distance. She’s laughing with a group of girls near the far wall — head thrown back, perfectly timed, completely at ease. I wonder if any of it is real. If that laugh belongs to her or to the person she built in Paris to replace whoever she was before.Paris. Wasn’t that the trip Cortney and her girls took that summer? The one she came back from talking about for weeks? Did Cortney know?She couldn’t have. Rue said almost nobody knows. Sasha buried it too well, too completely. And then the hair came. The personality. The armor she put on and never took off.Now I understand her. Not in a way that excuses anything she’s done — not even close. But I understand the architecture of it. Why she needs to control everything. Why she keeps people close enough to use and far enough away to never actually see her. Why the meanness come so easily. It’s easier to make people afraid of you than to let
Rue still hasn't reached out.It’s been four days. Nothing!But I'm holding onto the hope that she'll find something on Sasha — something real, something I can actually use. And then this whole thing ends. We end it with the sex she wants and then life goes back to whatever normal looks like for me.What's the worst that can happen?Cortney still isn't speaking to me.Every time I try, she walks away like I'm invisible — like I'm furniture she's learned to navigate around. Dad still hasn't given her back her car or her card.And Chan—Chan shows up to every tutorial session completely professional. She doesn't bring up Sasha and the dating news. The picture of us kissing. She doesn't bring up us, or what happened in the storage room, or any of it. She corrects my work, sets new assignments, apologizes for the smallest things “Sorry, I should have explained that differently, sorry, let me go over that again.”— and I hate every second of it. It's like we've been reset. Like we're back t
I pick up my phone and hesitate for the ninth time.This is a good idea. Reaching out to Rue. I need her. She's the only one I know who can help me get out of this mess. Get Sasha off my back for good.I finally grab the courage and press call.Just pick up. Please.It rings. And rings. I end the call before it goes anywhere and try again, pacing the length of my room. This time it goes straight to voicemail.Hey, it's Rue. Don't call me if you don't want to fuck me. And I'm talking to the hot boys specifically. As for the girls — I'm not a lesbian.I sit on the edge of my bed and stare at her name on the screen.Normally she'd have picked up before the ring. Back when we were sneaking around behind Cortney's back, she'd answer before my phone even had a chance to buzz on her end. She was the one chasing me then, head over heels, relentless about it.And speaking of Cortney, she still hasn't said a word to me since what happened in the hallway this morning. I want to explain it to her
***~~~ CHANCÉ~~~***I’m still mad at him. But not the loud kind of mad. Not the kind where you slam doors or yell. The quiet, painful kind. The kind that sits heavy in my chest and refuses to leave.I feel sad. I felt hurt when he said the word “As if” to his cousin, Ricky. I know what we do isn’
Ricky loves attention. No—he is attention.There’s something about him. An aura that pulls people in without effort. Everywhere he goes, people notice him. He’s the complete opposite of me.Bright. Dirty blond hair. Always laughing. Always surrounded by people—especially girls. He feeds off it. Liv
***~~~ RIVER~~~***I notice her. I’ve always noticed her, and Chan has always been… naive. Quiet. Too soft for someone like me.I’ve been watching her for four years. Even before all these forbidden escapades. Before the lake. Before she saved my life.My jaw tightens slightly at the memory. If s
I feel used. Completely used. That’s been the way I’ve felt since the first time River came into my room. He didn’t even acknowledge it before he just took what he wanted.There was one thing I thought would change. I thought if I let him have my body, my virginity, he would like me back, but I gue







