LOGINI toss and turn until I finally stop. With my hand on my stomach, I stare at the ceiling, letting out a long breath. Cortney dropped me home thirty minutes ago, and River hasn’t shown up yet.
Maybe it is for the best. I sigh, running my hand through my hair. What exactly am I doing? I know he will never love me. I know he will never give me a chance. So why am I still waiting? The knock on my door startles me. I sit up and quickly throw my hair in a low ponytail the way I normally do. “Come in.” I reach for my glasses and put them on. My elder sister opens the door and stands in the doorway. “Coming down for dinner? Mom made chicken.” I am not in the mood to eat, and she can see it written all over my face. “You like chicken.” She sighs and enters, closing the door behind her. “Okay, what is wrong? You know you can talk to me.” She sits down on the bed, and I pull my legs closer together. I search her eyes. I can’t tell her a boy is bothering me. I can’t open up to her because I know my sister all too well and what she will say. You are a beautiful girl. His loss if he won’t claim you. You are brilliant. Someone out there will be lucky to have you. When you go to college, things will change. You will meet new people. People who will fight for your attention. I want to hear those words so badly. But she doesn’t know what it feels like to be in the arms of River Dawson. She doesn’t know how much of a lost cause I have become because of love. “I am… just tired. That‘s all,” I lie. “Really? That‘s all?” She tilts her head. I nod immediately. “Just school stuff. I will be fine.” She studies me for a while before she stands up and smooths her skirt. “Okay. Just—just let me know if you need anything, or if you just want to talk. I know you might not want to tell Mom, but you can tell me. I will understand. And if it is boys, I understand boys. I was quite the catch in high school.” She isn’t lying. She was one of the cheerleaders and boys were always in her presence. She always had date nights every Wednesday and Friday with different boys, like they were auditioning to have her as their girl. But she wouldn't understand how I feel. “I am fine, Mave.” “Okay.” She walks to the door, then turns back to me. “So, no dinner?” “I am not hungry.” She nods slowly, then quietly closes the door behind her. The room falls silent again. I sigh and check the clock. 9:50 p.m. River isn’t coming. Maybe that’s for the best. I swing my legs off the bed and stand, suddenly restless. If he isn’t coming, then tonight is over. I shouldn’t wait anymore. I should just take off my clothes, take a shower, and pretend I never told him to meet me here. I pull my shirt over my head when something taps against the window. I freeze. A second later… Tap. My heart jumps. Curiously, I walk slowly toward the window and pull the curtain aside. River Dawson is standing outside. My stomach flips, and for a moment, my face lights up before I can stop it. I quickly wipe the expression away. Of course he came. He is always active when he wants something. How could I have forgotten that? He has changed from his hockey clothes into a casual sweatshirt and matching pants. I push the window open. “What the heck, Chan? I’ve been texting you for the past thirty minutes,” he whispers loudly. “What?” I whisper back. “Check your phone.” He realizes he said it too loudly and immediately covers his mouth, glancing around the dark yard. I disappear from the window and grab my phone from the bed. Right. I turned it off earlier. When the screen lights up, my stomach flips again. Seven missed calls. Multiple messages. All from River. I walk back to the window and hold the phone up. “I turned it off,” I whisper. “I was with Cort.” River exhales and runs a hand through his hair, clearly annoyed. After a moment, he brushes it off and points at himself… then at my window. My eyes widen. “You want to climb up here?” River lifts an eyebrow. “Would you rather I walk through your front door, and your family sees me?” My heart starts beating faster. Because he’s right. And because this is insane. They don’t know I am seeing a boy. I have never brought a boy home before. River looks at the wall like he’s already regretting every decision that led him here. Then he mutters, “Move.” I step back as I watch him quietly climb up, using the pipe like a ladder. He grabs the edge of the window and pulls himself up. His shoe slips once, and I instinctively reach out, grabbing his hand to balance him. Finally, he swings one leg over the window and drops into my room. River straightens, brushing his hands together. Then he looks at me. “We’re never doing this here again,” he says quietly. “I’ll text you the locations from now on.” I nod, automatic, obedient, and turn to set my phone on the bed. Before I can take another step, his hand wraps around my shoulder, possessive. My stomach clenches. He towers over me like something wild and untamed, standing at 6’3” while I am 5’7” “I want to take a quick shower first,” I whisper. Instead of releasing me, he turns me slowly to face him. His eyes search mine as he lifts my glasses off, folds them carefully, sets them on the nightstand. Then his fingers slide into my hair, loosening the ponytail until it spills over my shoulders. “That’s much better.” His voice is low. “Door locked?” I slip away just long enough to twist the lock, heart beating fast. When I turn back, I peel off my clothes under his watchful gaze. My shirt, bra, shorts, panties, until I’m naked. A faint smirk tugs at his mouth, amusement flickering in his eyes as he takes me in. I step closer. The heat rolling off him makes my skin prickle. “How do you like your cock sucked?” I ask, voice small but trying to sound bold. He throws his head back and laughs. My brows furrow. Then his gaze drops to mine again. “You’re cute. But not tonight, Chan.” “But—” “Another time.” Before I can respond, he scoops me up like I am his newlywed bride, arms under my knees and back, and carries me to the bed. He slowly lowers me onto the mattress. His hand slides to the nape of my neck, fingers working into my hair, and he pulls me into a deep, claiming kiss. I close my eyes and melt into it, arms curling around his neck. A moan escapes me when his mouth leaves mine and closes over one nipple. The wet suction sends a jolt straight between my legs. His hand drifts lower, fingers finding my clit and rubbing slowly. The pleasure becomes tight. More moans spill out before I can stop them. I bite my lip hard, trying to stay quiet. My family is downstairs eating dinner. If they hear—if anyone hears—they’ll kill me. He switches to the other breast, sucking harder while his fingers keep working me. Then he pulls away entirely. I watch, breathless, as he strips his hoodie, shirt, sweatpants, boxers, until he stands naked, cock thick and heavy, already hard. I can’t look away. He smirks at my stare, reaches into his pocket for a condom, tears the packet with his teeth, and rolls it on. He parts my thighs roughly, spreading me wide. “You ready to be my slut?” I nod—jerky, desperate. His hand wraps around my throat, not crushing, but firm enough to make my pulse thunder under his palm. Before I can draw a full breath, he pushes inside in one deep thrust. A high, startled squeak leaves me. He starts rocking, slow at first, then harder, faster, filling me completely. My soul feels like it leaves my body with every stroke. Then he spanks my ass hard. I whimper. He fucks me harder. Deeper. “Fuck you…” I gasp, the words slipping out in defiance. A slow, wicked smile curves his lips. “How dare you?” he murmurs, almost playful, then slaps my cheek. It is light but shocking, heat blooming across my skin. “Fuck you…” I groan again, veins pulsing in my neck and face as he drives into me relentlessly. I want to shove him away, to make him stop, but I can’t. He hasn’t cum yet. And part of me doesn’t want him to. He pulls out suddenly. I whine at the emptiness. He flips me over in one smooth motion, presses my chest to the mattress, arches my back into a perfect curve, spreads my legs wide, and grips the back of my neck from behind, holding me down, owning the angle. He slides back in. Deep. The new position hits different, harder, fuller. I groan into the pillow. He rocks into me with punishing rhythm, hand tightening just enough to remind me who’s in control. “That’s it,” he growls. “That’s my slut. Fuck—good girl.” The praise hits like a drug. I start to yell; his hand clamps over my mouth, muffling the sound. “Faster,” I mumble against his palm, desperate. “Faster—faster—” He obeys. Thrusts turn brutal, hips snapping, bedframe knocking softly against the wall. My body tightens, coils, then shatters. Orgasm ripping through me in silent, shaking waves. He keeps going for a few more punishing strokes, then yanks out with a low groan. I collapse forward, folding into myself, legs trembling, chest beating fast. “You okay?” His voice is rough, breathing heavy. “Hmm-mm,” I manage. I want more than ‘You okay?’ from him. I want him to come close to me and pull me into his arms, but I already know I won’t be getting that. Sure enough, he’s already moving—grabbing his clothes, pulling them on quickly. I stay curled on my side, watching him through my lashes. He turns back once, leans down, and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “Good job today. You’re improving.” I receive one last spank. The words sting more than the spank. I want to beg him to wait. To stay. But I swallow it down. I have to be the cool girl. The one who doesn’t break the rules. “See you when I text the next location.” He slips out the window I stay folded on the bed. The house is quiet. And before I know it, I begin to cry.***~~~ RIVER~~~***I’m happy Chan and I are back together. Picking up that diamond necklace was a fucking smart move.I made tonight romantic for her on purpose, and I’m glad I did. She talked more than she has in weeks—more than she has since we started dating. It felt good hearing that side of her, the one my sister always gets to see.I’m just walking into the house when my phone starts ringing. I pull it out, see the name, and almost ignore it. I’ve been trying hard not to talk to Sophia. The guilt of me cheating on my girl is already heavy enough. But of course I answer anyway. I always do.I put the phone to my ear as I head upstairs and shut my bedroom door behind me, already searching for an excuse to keep the call short.I drop onto the bed. Her voice comes through, soft and tired.“A student confided in me about a boy. I’m really not the best person to be giving that kind of advice. Look at my life—I’m a mess. Single. Rough past. And I’m sure she’ll bring it up again the n
I can’t sleep. I’m too full of happiness. My face is stuck in a smile as I lie in bed, fingers tracing the little star pendant around my neck. My mind keeps replaying the kiss, the way he dropped the chain the way they do in K-dramas, how quiet and romantic the whole night felt.I told River about the concert with Cortney tomorrow before we said goodnight. I’m going to see Taylor freaking Swift for the first time. I might actually die.When I got home earlier, Mom was already asleep. I stare up at the ceiling, still touching the pendant. “Thank you, Universe. You’ve been really good to me today.”I want this feeling to last forever.By four o’clock the next afternoon, Cortney is already outside as planned. I check myself in the mirror one last time, tuck the diamond necklace under the neckline of my sequined top, and run downstairs.She’s leaning against her car when I step out. “Someone’s excited,” she says, smiling.“You know you could’ve just come inside instead of waiting out he
I watch his face after the question. There’s a flicker of hesitation before he jerks his head in a shake.“No. No. I’m not.”I could have sworn I saw it, that tiny pause.“Why would I?” he adds. “I only like you.”He takes my hand. I step forward and wrap my arms around him, pressing my face into his chest for a second.“You can’t like someone else,” I murmur. Because you have no idea how long I’ve liked you. What I risked. What I’ll lose because I liked you.He lifts my chin with two fingers and kisses me carefully, like he’s afraid of smudging my lipstick. When he pulls back, his eyes are warm.“Go. I don’t want them calling your name and finding you missing when it’s time for your award.”I’m taken aback. “How did you even know about the award? I never told you.”“Cortney did.”My eyebrows lift. “You guys talked about me?”“Not really. She was so excited she just… spilled it while we were eating last night.”I nod, a small smile tugging at my mouth. “Okay. But you have to be there.
It's been two days since River's eyes met mine in our homeroom teacher's office. Two days since I finally sent that reply back to him in class. Ever since, he's texted and called like something bordering on obsessive. He even showed up at my house once, and I pretended I wasn't home, watching through the curtain until his car finally pulled away.Cortney and I are walking down the hall when the loudspeaker crackles to life with the principal's voice. “Our annual scholarship fundraiser gala is this Saturday, as we all know and it’s organized as always by Mr. Mackline. Please dress your best and show your support. Miss Rhodes — please come see me in my office."I let out a heavy sigh."What'd you do now?" Cortney lets go of my hand, already smirking.I shrug. "No idea. I'll catch up with you later. Bye.""Bye."I head for the stairs toward the principal's office, knock once I get there, and step inside when told. The principal spreads her arms wide, smiling. "Here comes our star student.
I stare at my boyfriend, my heart slamming so hard against my chest. What is he doing here?My eyes finally settle after his do, and I don't say a word to him. I just look away.Miss Sophia chimes in smoothly. "Hello, Mr. Dawson. You came." She reaches into her locker, picks out a folder, and flips through it. "I looked into extracurriculars you could pick up while you're sitting out these two games. Unfortunately, there's no vacancy in any of them right now.""Thank you.""But of course, I'll reach out the moment something opens."He nods, then glances my way and smiles quickly before turning and heading out the door. I turn back to Sophia, who's already smiling at me pleasantly, and then my head snaps back toward. He never even mentioned any of this to me. I could've actually helped him find something.I push myself up out of the chair. "I should — actually, I should go.""Wait, Miss Rhodes—""I'll — come back." I'm already moving, rushing out the door, craning my neck down the hall
***~~~CHANCÉ~~~***Monday morning, I wake up to a text from my boyfriend. River is sorry he bailed on our date because his father called, was furious about the whole game situation, and he knows that's not an excuse, but he's really, genuinely sorry.I stare at the message for a while. Of course, because I like him so much, some part of me already wants to give him another pass. I want to. I really do. But I keep staring at the screen, and this time I make myself hold off. Last week was rough enough between us, and he has bailed on me more times than I've bothered to count.I've let it slide, over and over, but not this time. He doesn't get to skate through this one so easily.So I do one of the harder things. I flip my phone face-down on the bed, walk into the bathroom, and shut the door behind me to get ready for school instead.Standing in front of the mirror, already dressed, I run my fingers through my hair, catching the ends. It's finally starting to grow out more. Maybe I'll
***~~~ CHANCÉ~~~***I’m still mad at him. But not the loud kind of mad. Not the kind where you slam doors or yell. The quiet, painful kind. The kind that sits heavy in my chest and refuses to leave.I feel sad. I felt hurt when he said the word “As if” to his cousin, Ricky. I know what we do isn’
Ricky loves attention. No—he is attention.There’s something about him. An aura that pulls people in without effort. Everywhere he goes, people notice him. He’s the complete opposite of me.Bright. Dirty blond hair. Always laughing. Always surrounded by people—especially girls. He feeds off it. Liv
( Two Months Later)The rink is loud with cheering—fans screaming and clapping as the players race across the ice. But the noise fades in the back of my mind the moment his eyes meet mine for a glimpse. Now all I hear is his voice from the night before. Low. Close to my ear.“How do you want to be
*** ~~CHANCÉ~~ *** “Come here.” River Dawson’s voice slides down my spine like a slow shiver. I’m standing only a few inches away from him, but those two words still pull me closer, like I’m tied to him by something invisible. Maybe I am. I should feel embarrassed about how easily I obey







