Chapter 5

Marcella pov

“Please sit” she motioned at me to sit on the floor and I did but as I sat she pulled out a small black book from her bag and sat across me. I was confused not knowing what she wanted me to do. This wasn't exactly what I had envisioned for a "Truth or Dare" closet session.

“You …. still haven’t said anything” I reminded her but she didn't give me an answer right away, she just looked back at me and smiled.

“I know… well, I was thinking maybe we could use this time to reflect on anything about our life, maybe our future, past, anything”.

I was still confused at her demand.

“I don’t understand what you mean?” I scratched my head in confusion.

“Well what I’m trying to say is enjoy the moment… do whatever you want to, while I’ll just be here doing what I want to”. She tapped her journal like she was trying to tell me she wanted to get busy.

I felt betrayed by her mind.

“So you mean you want to read?”

She scoffed at my word.

“Can you keep an eye on the time? Just in case I get carried away with my book.” She made another demand.

I looked at her angry and regretful for giving her the opportunity and I wanted her to know, I acted like I was unable to understand what she meant.

“Huh?” I exclaimed so she would think I was completely lost.

“We still have 25 minutes, you could do whatever you want while I sit here and update my journal” she cleared me.

“Is that really what you want us to do?” I asked her surprised and she gave me that defiant, playful look that made me feel like a clown.

“Do you have anything specific in mind?” She asked me but I declined.

“No,” I lied quietly. “Go ahead.” Then she turned her gaze back to her writing and I saw her pen moving as she scribbled on the blank page.

Yeah..I had so many things in mind, maybe we could just stick to the rules of the game and do what the others wanted, yeah I wanted it to happen so badly all those naughty things young rebel teens did together when locked in a closet but I didn’t have the balls to say it. Well you can’t blame me, I’m not a guy.

I looked at her writing in her journal and I was lost in pure admiration.

She looked like a masterpiece in the dim light. Her long, wavy hair spilled over her shoulders, and her expression was so focused, so serene. I traced the line of her thick lashes with my eyes, imagining what it would feel like if she leaned in, if those lashes brushed against my skin in a consuming embrace.

“You okay?” She called out to me when she couldn’t help it anymore, I’m sure I made her super uncomfortable with the way I stared and she couldn’t hide it no more.

“Yeah…I am, why wouldn’t I? I tried to comport myself and everywhere was dead silent for a moment until she asked me a strange question, a question that made my heart stop.

“Marcella…. Can I ask you something?”.

I gave her a consenting look. “Have you ever wanted someone so badly even when they don’t see you and you know even if they do you can never be together?” She looked straight in my eyes and I was caught in between her words and my own secret. It felt like she took a page from my life and read it out to me, maybe not just a page, my whole life.

Everywhere was silent, I didn’t know what to say.

“Never mind” I heard her speak from across me, she buried her head in her book.

“Yeah….” The word left my mouth faintly then she raised her head and smiled at me.

“Would you like to share?” She asked so politely, but I couldn’t tell her, I kept staring and my mouth was yearning to say more. I could feel my lips itching at the corners to say more. If only I could tell her.

It’s you…. It’s always been you, I want you Lucille even when I know I can’t have you….. you are all I crave for…God I was so good at saying it in my mind but couldn’t shape my mouth to really say it in reality.

“It’s fine…if you don’t wanna share I get it, maybe….”

“I want to…” I cut her off so fast, she got up and came to sit beside me, our bodies so close. I wanted to tell her all about it, my feelings but words failed me.

“I…I…I” I couldn’t seem to find the right words to say it.

“You okay?” She noticed me staring again but I didn’t say a word, we’ve never been this close before, her presence felt consuming.

We were both silent, everywhere was silent I could hear my heartbeat.

She tried to keep her book on the floor when her hand touched mine. She raised her head and her lips was so close to mine.

She pulled a bit closer, and more closer till I could feel her breath on my face.

Then a loud bang hit the door she immediately withdrew.

“Are you okay”. She asked me.

“Yeah…” I changed my sitting position and tried to act distracted when there was a sudden knock at the door.

I turned and heard the locks been opened, was it time already? That was what my mind could only think of, I checked my wrist watch and it was more than 30 minutes.

“Oh fuck… I forgot” I whispered.

She stood up and I followed then the door was swung open.

She gasped in surprise when she saw the person standing before her.