Chapter 4 — DAWN.

THURSDAY

I stared at the passing cars. Every red one pulled my gaze along with it until it was out of sight. I had been waiting for twenty minutes now, counting the passing seconds in my head and keeping track of every minute that went by. I was sure she would soon jog pass or drive by. I was waiting. I was patient.

 house was just around the corner, I would see her as soon as she rounds the—

"Hey."

I jumped, killer instincts ready to attack, but as my gaze fell into hers my bones turned to jelly.

I clutched my stomach as her scent filled my nostrils, strong, living, lively. My human mate had no idea what influence she had over me.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Her voice calm.

'How did she... Why did she turn around the block?' I asked myself. I was too concentrated on the road I hadn't heard her come up on me.

Her sweet scent was beginning to overwhelm me, I needed to block it out.

Tia had gave me a small white towel that was soaked in holy water and left to dry. Perceiving the towel suppressed my sense of smell.

"Are you—"

"I'm fine." I said at once, pressing the towel to my face. "It's just the weather." I lied. The cold had no effect on me.

"I met you some days ago... err... Kaldar right? I told you my name, I'm Dawn." She stretched out her hand, I hesitated before taking it.

"Oh. You're right. You're cold." She smiled as I retracted my hand and push it into my jacket pocket. I had forgotten. My temperature was always low now, Tia would kill me if she figured out about this.

Tia would kill me if she figured out I talked to this girl at all. This was dangerous and wrong for both of us.

"Are you new here?" she asked. I eyed her carefully, her golden hair looking rather matte in the early greyish light of morning.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah I'm new."

Her mere presence was heating me up from the inside. Why? How could she have such an effect on me? Why did she.

"Well, I'm Dawn—oh, I've already told you that... I live with my parents lower down the street. The only blue house you'll see actually..." She glanced at me, if anything looking even more nervous than I was.

Silence fell between us. A warm, long silence.

"Wanna... Let me show you around?" She asked.

"Oh, well..." I looked to either side of the street, a few people walked by, scarfs tight around their necks. Tia wouldn't be coming home anytime soon and so would Leya. I had till late afternoon. It wouldn't hurt to walk with her.

"...okay, okay!" I smiled behind the towel and she led the way. Walking past me.

I kept the pace beside her, slowly letting down the towel from my nose and taking in a rich breath filled with her scent.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked her, easily noticing the army of goose bumps that assembled on the skin of her arms ad neck.

She met my gaze. I took in the dilation of her pupils, the blue hue reducing as the black expanded in the middle.

Slowly I took off my jacket.

"No, no. It's okay I'll—"

But I had already put it around her. Too big, it looked like she had a duvet wrapped around her body.

"Thank you." She said slowly.

"Do you always jog in the cold?"

"Well, I do it to clear my head before writing... So yeah"

"You write? Like stories?"

She flashed me a glance, her cheeks taking on a red flush.

"Well, not stories. More like just short poems and stuff—"

"Wow, can I read—"

"No."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry for asking. I shouldn't have...."

She smiled.

"Maybe some other time."

'At least it wasn't a complete 'no'.' I mentally consoled myself.

We rounded the corner of my house. And started down the street.

"You watched me jog by..."

I felt phantom heat rise from my neck to my head. Her eyes were steady on my face, waiting for my reaction.

"I...err...well. I like looking at the cars drive by—"

"But you hid the other day, when I waved."

"Oh..." I remembered when I had pathetically ducked under the windowsill.

She laughed lightly, snorting a little as she raised her hands to her lips.

"Have you seen your face?" She chortled on, not minding my abash.

"Oh my, you look like a clown."

"Clown?" I asked, intrigued by the new word.

"Yeah, a clown. Like it."

"What is 'it'?" I asked.

"It is a book, a novel—wait, don't tell me you haven't heard about the book."

I knew I had lost a dozen of my memories, but I had not expected also loosing basic memories.

"Tell me more about 'clowns'," I said slowly.

"You don't know what a clown is?" she asked, looking at me akwardly.

"Well... You may not believe me but, I don't really remember many things..."

My amnesia wasn't normal. I knew there was a problem with me the time I couldn't recognize a vase and called it a large cup. Tia told me it was a vase. I had not seen a smarter way to call it.

Whether it was because my memories had been tampered with by Jhan in order to hide the brutal murders he committed, or it was actually just a side effect of my impurication. I was yet to figure out.

"Like... Amnesia?" she asked slowly, pity filling her eyes.

"Yes, I think that's what Tia called it..."

"Oh... No wonder you are so weird—"

"What? I'm not weird." I flared with defense.

"So... What do you remember?"

"Well..."—I put my fingers on my chin, recalling what I had left of myself—"the hospital."

"Oh, before you were discharged?"

"Well, yes. Something like that." I remembered Jhan. He took me from that hospital. Possibly kidnapped me.

"I'm so sorry." Her eyes drooped. "But you're in luck because my mum's a psychiatrist."

I looked at her blankly. Blinking twice to show my dumbfoundedness.

"Oh, you don't... Sorry. She's like a brain doctor that deals with brain diseases..."

"Can I meet her?"

She looked at me intensely for a moment, I felt the phantom heat start to warm me up again under her gaze.

"Yeah, sure. You can meet her. You can meet her right now that's if..."

"That will be fine." I said, discerning a blue duplex a distance in front of us.

"She'll be happy to help. If she can... Frankly, I've never heard of amnesia that takes away basic memories."

"Is it... Bad? Will I ever be able to recover from it?"

"Well... I think so. I mean, people mostly recover from amnesia without treatment so... Yeah."

We got to the picket fence and she pushed open the small white gates. I followed behind her as she walked the short way up to the front door. She opened it and stepped in. I still on the spot I had been a few paces from the threshold.

"Come on..." She beckoned me with her fingers.

I walked slowly, holding my breath as I entered to avoid taking in the cloudy scent of people. I could do this for as long as I pleased, holding my breath for minutes or even hours. Sometimes I forgot to breathe and I had realized that I did it out of habit not because I needed to.

The small lobby was poorly lit, blue walls and white ceilings with low hanging bulbs. I followed her through the first door to the right and entered into a large parlour. The chairs were the only brown furniture in the room, and the only thing black in the room was the large rectangular blank screen of the television that hung on the wall.

Dawn left the room, returning a few minutes later with an elderly woman tailing behind her. I looked at them. The woman looked more like an elder sister than a mother. The resemblance they shared was clear except for the fact that her mother had dark brown hair instead of Dawn's golden blonde.

"Mum this..." She pinched her brows, realizing I hadn't told her my name.

"Kaldar..." I completed her sentence.

"Nice to meet you young man," She said heartily, patting my sleeved arm lightly.

"I couldn't believe it when Dawn said she brought a friend over, you know she hasn't really been relating well with people since we relocated—"

"Mum!" Dawn's face was red with heat but her mother didn't seem to notice as she laughed with laughed cheerily at her daughters embarrassment.

"Well well, make yourself at home. My husband isn't in town right now, but he will return today evening. He's a heavy worker... Feel free to come over any time that you like."

She turned to leave and Dawn tailed her. Avoiding my eyes. Her face was still reddened.

She waited until they were in the lobby before whispering. I wouldn't have been able to hear her if I wasn't impurified.

"Mum... I think he has amnesia..."

"Oh, my... Did he tell you that?"

"Well, he said he can't really remember many things about himself."

"Oh my. What a poor boy. Well people suffering from amnesia usually recover their memories with time. Showing them familiar objects might also act like a trigger."

I couldn't see through the walls now. I couldn't control when it happened anyway.

I heard her footsteps as she reappeared. My jacket still on her shoulders.

"Come, I think I might have something that could help you recover some of your memories."

"Oh. Okay."

I stood up and followed behind her as we stepped up a staircase that led to the floor above. There were four doors here and one at the end of the corridor. She got into the room and I followed behind her into the light purple walls. I allowed a little of the scent to fill my lungs. Her pleasant scent filled my nostrils but at the same time awakened the urge in me to eat human flesh so I quickly inhaled from the towel.

A large shelf stacked with books was pushed to the wall and a the only other furniture in the room was the reading table, chair and cabinet that were beside her bed.

A loud bark startled me. I hadn't even noticed the little white dog that leaped from her bed into her arms, licking her face.

She ruffled the dogs fur, repeatedly calling it a good girl before gently setting the animal down. I looked at the fluffy snow white animal, the dog had looked me in the eye before lashing out and barking defensively.

I took a step back but the little creature only advanced. Barking even louder at me, the fur on its neck standing on end.

She picked it up. Stroking down its back and attempting nto calm it down.

"I'm sorry, she isn't usually aggressive towards people even strangers as long as they are with family."

"It's okay." I kept my gaze on the dog. The animal tilted its head to one side, looking at me carefully. It had probably detected my vampire aura—if that was a thing—but Dawn set it down and it scampered away, out of the open door.

Set on the wall were a bunch of medals. Silver and gold ovals with one's and two's embedded into the faces of the prizes.

"Wow, you got so many medals..."

"Yeah, I did a lot of swimming back in high school... I won some competitions too."

"Wow..." I admired the bright golden medals. There was only one bronze prize, most of them being silver.

I eyed the silver metal. Looking at it with disgust. The metal would burn my skin on contact, I was careful to avoid even the slightest touch as I ran my fingers along the faces of the medals.

Dawn sat on her bed. She avoided my eyes as I looked at her face. She had my jacket on, even though we were no more in the outside cold.

"Invite strangers to your house normally?" I asked her.

Still avoiding my eyes she answered,

"No... I've not really been in contact with anyone for some time now. To be honest I was kinda curious when I saw you staring at me from that window..."

I walked to her, she glanced at me as I sat beside her. She focused on her fingernails. Being this close to her was making me feel more alive than I was. I could feel the warmth from her body spreading through me.

I took my hand towards her, slowly allowing my finger to brush against her hair before taking it to the hem of my jacket.

"Oh, I was still wearing it. It was just..."

She met my eyes and hers softened. The redness from before returned to her face and she shied her eyes away as she took the jacket off and handed it over to me.

I put it back on, curious for why she wouldn't look me in the eyes. She wasn't really shy earlier when we met around the block.

"You said you could help me... Trigger some memories."

She lighted up at the words.

"Yeah, do remember any hobbies you had?"

"Well..." I was blank.

"Okay, try this, close your eyes—"

"Whah?"

"Just trust me Kaldar." 

The way my name rolled off her tongue with ease, it made something churn within me.

I closed my eyes, embracing the endless stretch of darkness that lay behind my eyelids.

"Visualize yourself in any place you remember..."

The only memory I had apart from the hospital was a short fleeting like dream of myself sitted beside a petite woman. The same face I had seen as I suffocated on the hospital bed. My mother.

I grasped onto the memory. Holding on to it. Holding onto the memory of my mother's face.

"Are you doing it?" She asked and I nodded. I could feel the warmth of her body closer to me now.

"Hold onto the memory and focus on it..."

It was easy to focus on the memory but I couldn't make anything out of it. It was just a short memory of myself and my mother.

I opened my eyes, allowing my head to drop.

"I'm sorry, I can't make out any other thing..."

"That's okay..." she said slowly. I met her eyes and she quickly averted them.

I was unsure on whether or not I should I should ask the question.

"Why won't you look me in the eye?"

She blinked twice, before taking her blue orbs to meet my dark gaze.

"I-I..."

The redness in her face intensifying.

'What's wrong with her...?' I mentally asked myself.

"It's nothing, I..."

She paused as I closed my palm on the back of her hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked slowly, but not taking her hand away. It urged me to go on. I took her other hand, she resisted at first, before she followed with my lead. Leaning into me but careful not to look me in the eye.

"The first time I saw you... You made me feel more alive..." My voice was low, too low. "Just being this close to you spreads the warmth of the sun through me."

"What are you even saying?" she asked and I chuckle lightly.

"I don't even know what I am saying, I mean, I couldn't even remember what a 'clown' is."

She laughed lightly before slowly lifting her eyes to mine.

"You asked why I couldn't look you in the eye... Well, whenever I do I feel like..."

She leaned in closer to me, I felt the warmth of her breath against my face as she lips met mine. The phantom heat exploded behind my chest as she repositioned her lips. I kissed her back and she moaned lowly under her breath. As I pushed her slowly, she fell on her back, allowing me to kiss her again. I felt the warm touch of her fingers as she fiddled with my ears.

I kept my eyes shut, her breath came in short gasps. The warmth of her body excited something inside me. Her heat seemed to settle in my neck and turning most of the bones in my body to rubber.

I was about taking my hands to her body before someone knocked on the door.

I jut away from her, the red flush that was on her face had masked on her skin thickly now. It made her head look like a tomato.

"Dawn? There's a girl here that may want to see Kaldar..."

I was confused, I did not know any other person in the neighbourhood except for...

"Tia... Oh my..."

"Who's Tia?" She asked, her brows pinched.

"I live with her, she's like my elder sister." I imagined the look that would be in Tia's face. Pure disappointment, or even anger. Jereum had warmed me to stay away from people, he had told me strictly to stay away from any humans. And I had been caught in one of their houses.

"I have to go..."

"Now? You can invite her in—"

"I can't..." I said sharply. 'This was a mistake... I've messed up. Tia would never trust me now."

"I'm sorry but I have to go." I turned to and started towards the door but the warmth of her palm around my wrist stopped me on my tracks.

"Will you... Come back?" Her voice was brittle.

But to be honest the possibility of my return was slim.

"Yes, of course. You can help me right?"

She nodded before releasing her hold on me and I sped down the stairs. I go to the main door. The fluffy white dog growled from the parlour as I stepped out.

Tia looked at me with, lips pouted and arms folded. She looked like an angry mother.

"Care to explain yourself?"

I avoided her eyes, I couldn't look meet them. Not now.

"Tia I'm—"

"Save it! You'll answer to Jhan."

Here words were like a knife to my throat, I couldn't face Jhan or Jereum. They were highere bosses, the ones that they penalties usually came from. I had learned that enough by now.

Tia started her walk down the street and I followed behind her. It wasn't long till we rounded the corner and got to our house. She unlocked the door and pushed it open with unnecessary force but as soon as it closed behind me and we were in our den I started.

"Tia please, just listen..."

The hole in my chest was huge, it swallowed me up from the inside.

"No Kaldar! You know the consequences. You know it's wrong, but you still did it."

"And what's wrong it anyway? It's not like she knows anything—"

"She may not now. But once she does, ‘cause she will. She'll be killed Kaldar. She and her family will be eliminated because it's not safe."

I stared at the ground, the tension between us only rising.

“You’ve already put her in too much danger, if you really love her, you’ll leave her alone. Before she gets hurt.”

She eyed me scornfully before tramping up the stairs. I was left alone to my own solitude. But maybe Tia was right, I was being reckless. I was a Supreme and I probably already had a high role set for me in service to the higher court. But as I climbed the stairs, steps slow and sluggish, I knew that nothing could keep me away from the warmth of my mate, not even the wrath of the higher court.