Chapter 9: "Torn"

PAIGE’S POV 

 The food was ready. I immediately went upstairs to call Cullen down for a warm lunch. Outside, the snow had begun to fall more heavily, blanketing everything in white silence.

When I pushed the door open, I found him sleeping peacefully on his bed. His chest rose and fell with quiet rhythm, his face softened by rest.

Should I wake him?

I stood there for a moment, watching him. He looked calm… maybe too calm. I bit my lip, unsure. I didn’t want to disturb him, so I quietly backed away and returned to the kitchen, hoping he'd wake up on his own and come down.

Time passed. I glanced at the clock—5 p.m. The food had gone cold. Still no sign of him.

Worried, I walked back to his room.

He was still lying in bed, unmoving.

I stepped inside cautiously and made my way to his side. His face seemed tired. His brows slightly furrowed. Was he simply exhausted... or tired of me?

I shook my head to chase the thought away. No. Don’t overthink.

I gently placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a soft shake.

“Hey… it’s time to eat,” I whispered.

His eyes fluttered open slowly. He looked at me, and something in his gaze made me freeze.

His eyes weren’t just tired—they were distant. Cold.

It felt like they were saying something, but I couldn’t read the message.

“Is everything alright?” I asked, my voice trembling slightly.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he turned his gaze away, looking out the frosted window.

The coldness outside mirrored the silence between us.

Something had changed. Just hours ago, he was warm—soft even. But now... it was as if a wall had risen between us.

Was he upset that I woke him? Had I done something wrong? I had no idea.

“Uhm… sorry for waking you,” I muttered awkwardly.

Still, he didn’t move. Didn’t speak.

His stillness was louder than any words. It felt like a blade to my chest.

I stood up slowly, holding back the sting in my eyes.

“I’ll just wait for you downstairs,” I said quietly and turned away, leaving him in silence.

Tears rolled down my cheeks the moment I reached the bottom step.

Why am I like this? Why does it hurt this much?

We barely knew each other. Why was I so attached? Did I cross a line?

I curled up on the sofa, hugging a pillow to my chest as the ache in my heart tightened.

Maybe I was just a burden to him now.

I didn’t know how long I stayed like that—wrapped in silence, drowning in overthinking—until I felt a presence in front of me.

I looked up.

Cullen was standing there.

He didn’t say a word at first. His expression was unreadable. He held something out toward me.

“Here. Take it,” he said flatly.

I blinked at the object in his hand. “Wait… is this a phone?”

He gave a small nod.

“You need it. So you can call me if there's an emergency,” he said, his voice still detached, cool.

I stared at him. Should I feel happy? Or crushed?

Was this goodbye? Was he sending me away?

He must have sensed my panic because he added, “I’m going back to work tomorrow. I usually go overseas.”

I nodded slowly, though his explanation didn’t ease the tightness in my chest.

It sounded like an excuse. Like he was creating distance.

I forced a dry smile. “Okay.”

He turned, as if ready to walk away, when something inside me screamed to stop him.

I spoke without thinking. “Should I heat up the food?”

He paused.

“I’m not hungry,” he said flatly. “Just eat without me.”

His words hit like a slap.

I watched him walk away—watched as the space between us grew colder and wider than the snowstorm outside.

What happened?

The pain was real, sharp and suffocating.

Why, Paige? Why does it hurt this much?

CULLEN’S POV

  I was lost in deep thought when I heard soft footsteps approaching my room.

It was her.

My heart jolted in my chest. I shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep, hoping the act would convince her not to come any closer.

Relief washed over me when I sensed her turn back and head downstairs without waking me.

But peace never followed.

My mind spun in chaos. 

How do I create distance… without breaking her? 

How do I protect her from a storm she doesn’t even know she’s walking into?

Then it hit me—the phone I had bought. I didn’t know exactly why I did it at the time, but maybe this was the moment for it. A boundary. A bridge. A line drawn with care.

I called my assistant at the company. I needed to fill my days with tasks and meetings—anything to keep my thoughts away from her, from what was brewing between us.

The snow outside was merciless. I couldn’t ask her to leave, not in this weather. Besides, I’d already agreed she could stay.

So I’d leave instead. The sooner, the better.

Hours passed. I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to convince myself I was doing the right thing.

Then—footsteps again. Lighter this time. Her presence reached me before her voice did.

I quickly turned to my side and closed my eyes, feigning sleep again.

I felt her near. Her warmth.

“It’s time to eat,” she whispered gently.

I stirred, blinking as if just waking up.

She stood beside me, watching, as if searching for something behind my eyes.

I couldn’t hold her gaze. I turned toward the window instead, where snowflakes danced in the air like falling stars.

I had to build a wall. I had to.

Because if I looked too long, if I let myself feel too deeply, I’d lose whatever control I had left.

We'd only known each other for a day, and yet… it felt like years.

That couldn’t be right. That shouldn’t be possible.

But it was.

And that terrified me more than anything.

I caught the moment her light began to dim—the spark in her eyes flickering under the weight of silence. I was hurting her. That, I knew without question.

She turned and walked away, her footsteps softer now, like they carried a piece of her heart with them.

My chest ached as the door closed behind her.

But I had to do this.

This too shall pass… I told myself. Over and over.

When I finally stood up, I grabbed the phone and forced my legs to move. I had to give her something—a tool, an excuse, a buffer for the distance I was about to create.

I found her curled up on the sofa, small and quiet.

Seeing her like that wrecked me.

Everything in me wanted to sit beside her, to tell her it was all going to be okay, that she wasn’t alone.

But my mind held me back with sharp warning bells.

Don't get close. Don't make promises you can’t keep.

I stepped forward and extended the phone toward her.

“Here. Take it,” I said, keeping my tone cold, distant.

Her eyes widened in confusion. “Wait… this is a phone?”

I gave a short nod. “You need it. So you can call me in case of an emergency.”

Before she could say anything more—before I could give in to the part of me that wanted to stay—I turned and walked away.

That was all I could do now.

And it hurt more than I expected.

PAIGE’S POV

  My chest rose and fell rapidly as I woke up, breathless from another nightmare. My heart was pounding so hard it echoed in my ears.

I glanced at the clock—it was already past 8 a.m.

Dragging myself out of bed, I went downstairs to prepare breakfast, hoping Cullen was already awake.

But the silence hit me like a wall.

A weight settled on my chest as my eyes landed on a sticky note placed neatly on the glass dining table.

"I’ll be going on a business trip for a month. Make yourself comfortable. I left a card—you can swipe it for anything you need. 

– Cullen"

My heart sank.

He left.

I stood frozen, the note trembling in my hand. Guilt twisted inside me, laced with something deeper—rejection, maybe. Was he trying to stay away from me? Did I make him uncomfortable?

I blinked rapidly, trying to fight the sting of tears, but a strange heaviness began to press down on me. I didn’t know where it came from… only that it was unbearable.

He left his phone number too, but I had no plans of using it.

I stared blankly at the table, not knowing how long I stood there, the silence eating away at me.

What now? What am I supposed to do?

“You have to do something, Paige,” I whispered to myself, the sound of my own voice grounding me just a little.

I picked up the phone Cullen had given me, and with shaky hands, opened Messenger.

I took a deep breath.

It had been so long since I last saw them—my sisters.

As soon as the video connected, my heart leapt at the sight of their faces.

“Ate!” they shouted joyfully.

“We miss you, Ate!”

Tears welled up in my eyes. I tried to smile.

“I miss you more. How are you all?” I asked, forcing cheer into my voice.

“We’re fine, Ate, but we’ve been so worried about you,” one of them said, her brows creased in concern.

“I’m okay,” I replied softly. “Ate’s doing fine. I’ll send money again soon, okay?”

“Yaaay! Thank you, Ate!” they cheered, their eyes lighting up.

“How’s Mama?” I asked, bracing myself.

“She hasn’t come home since you left…” one of them replied, her voice growing small.

A sharp pang hit my chest.

“Who’s taking care of you?” I asked quickly, panic rising in my voice.

“Teta Becky sometimes gives us food, and we still have the money you left,” the youngest said.

I nodded slowly. I have three younger sisters still in the Philippines… and my brother—he's still in prison.

“I’ll work hard. I promise,” I said, forcing another smile, even though my lips trembled.

“I have to go now. I have some things to do,” I added.

“We love you, Ate!” they said together, filling the screen with warmth.

“I love you more,” I replied, and ended the call before they could see me break down.

The moment the screen went black, the walls around my heart collapsed.

A mix of sorrow, guilt, and helplessness crashed over me.

I sobbed—loud and raw, releasing every emotion I’d buried deep inside.

I cried until my voice cracked, until my tears ran dry.

After all… I was still alone.

CULLEN’S POV

   I tried to stay busy—flipping through files, typing random notes, organizing papers—but it was useless. My hands moved, but my mind was somewhere else.

With her.

Is she okay?

I shook the thought off and leaned back in my chair, rubbing my temple.

“Just give yourself time, Cullen,” I muttered under my breath, trying to convince myself. “You’ll get over her. You always do.”

But minutes later, I found myself unlocking my phone again.

Nothing. No messages.

Wait—what am I even expecting?

I glanced at the clock. Past six in the evening. Maybe she’s cooking dinner now.

The thought made my chest flutter unexpectedly. I could almost hear the soft clinking of utensils, smell the warmth of something sizzling in the pan, and see her in the kitchen—focused, graceful, humming under her breath.

Without thinking, I opened the home’s CCTV app.

Just to check.

But what I saw made my blood run cold.

She wasn’t in the house.

“What the…?” I breathed out, sitting up straight, panic rushing in.

I switched through every camera angle—living room, hallway, kitchen, backyard. Nothing. She was gone.

Did she leave for good? Did I push her too far?

My stomach twisted as questions flooded my head. I scrubbed through the footage, backtracking to earlier in the day.

And there she was—around 8:30 a.m., curled on the sofa, crying her heart out.

I froze.

The image hit me like a punch to the gut. The way she clutched herself, the way her body trembled—it was unbearable. Her pain was loud, even in silence.

What have you done, Cullen?

I kept watching. Around 10 a.m., she stood up, put on her coat and boots, and walked out of the house.

Walked. In the snow.

No car. No protection. No destination.

“What was she thinking?” I muttered, rising to my feet.

I checked the garage—my car still there, untouched.

“She walked,” I whispered in disbelief. “She just walked.”

A sharp pang of guilt and fear surged through me.

I slammed the folder shut, grabbed my keys, and rushed out the door without another thought.

I didn’t know where she was.

I didn’t know what she was feeling.

But I knew one thing for sure—I had to find her.

This woman, this stranger who turned my world upside down without trying—she might be the only thing real in my life right now.

And I couldn't let her slip away.

I’m so torn.