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DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 117
I hadn't slept properly in days.At first, I thought it was because of the hearing. Then I thought maybe it was because Kai and I were still trying to settle into the new apartment, because the unfamiliar silence at night felt wrong after spending so long in Brandon's house, where there was always movement somewhere. Victor coughing in the study. Brandon walking downstairs for water at midnight. Kai sneaking into my bed after a nightmare. Even Caleb dropping by unannounced and arguing with Brandon over something stupid. The silence here felt too complete. Too careful. Like the apartment itself was afraid to breathe too loudly.But by the seventh day, I realized sleep wasn't avoiding me because of the hearing.It was because I was scared.Scared of court.Scared of Dean.Scared of losing Kai.And maybe, if I was being honest with myself, scared that I'd ruined the only good thing that had happened to me in years when I'd pushed Brandon away.The thought alone made my chest tighten, so
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 116
I stood outside Joan’s apartment for longer than I should have after she whispered yes.The word kept replaying in my head even after the door shut softly in front of me. It hadn’t sounded firm. It hadn’t sounded certain either. If anything, it sounded like she’d forced herself to say it because she thought it was the answer she was supposed to give. But it was still a yes. She’d looked away when she said it too, like she couldn’t bear to watch my reaction, and somehow that made the tight feeling in my chest worse.For a second, I genuinely considered knocking again.I almost did it.Almost told her that I wasn’t asking because I wanted reassurance for my ego or because I couldn’t take rejection. I’d asked because I needed to know whether she actually wanted me gone or if she was simply doing what she always did whenever she got hurt: pushing everyone away before they could disappoint her further.But in the end, I stayed where I was.Then I left.The hallway outside her apartment was
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 115
~~Brandon's POV~~The silence in the house felt wrong.I realized it the second I opened my eyes.For a few disoriented moments, I lay there staring at the ceiling, waiting for the familiar sounds that had somehow become part of my routine without me noticing. Kai’s small feet pounding through the hallway. Joan downstairs making coffee before work because apparently functioning without caffeine was impossible for her. The soft hum of the television because Kai somehow always woke up before everyone else and immediately wanted cartoons. Even the occasional sound of Joan muttering under her breath when she realized he’d made a mess somewhere.Nothing came.The house stayed quiet.Too quiet.And that was when it hit me again.They were gone.I scrubbed a hand over my face and sat up slowly, exhaling hard through my nose as the emptiness settled heavier in my chest than it had the night before. I’d spent so long getting used to sharing my space with them that the sudden absence of them fe
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 114
~~Joan~~Sleep avoided me that night.Every time I closed my eyes, I either saw Victor admitting he'd been the one sending me anonymous messages during my marriage, or Brandon standing in the kitchen quietly telling me he was scared I'd pull away from him if I found out he'd known. The worst part was that neither memory made me as angry as they should have. Hurt, yes. Betrayed, definitely. But anger required distance, and somehow both men had rooted themselves too deeply into my life for me to stay properly angry at either of them.Especially Brandon.Which was exactly the problem.I stared at the ceiling from my spot on the bed while Kai slept beside me, starfished across the mattress with one sock half hanging off his foot and his stuffed dinosaur tucked beneath his chin. Soft morning light had started leaking into the room already, painting pale gold across the walls, and I realized I'd spent most of the night thinking.Thinking about Brandon.Thinking about how easily he'd become
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 113
The house felt different after Joan got upset with me.I noticed it immediately.Not because she yelled or slammed doors or made some dramatic scene out of it. Honestly, I thought I would've preferred that. At least then I'd know where I stood with her. Instead, she became quiet in a way that unsettled me deeply. She moved around my house politely, spoke when necessary, answered questions when asked, but every interaction felt measured, like she was carefully deciding how much of herself she was willing to give me now.And the answer seemed to be: not much.Kai had fallen asleep almost an hour ago after forcing me to listen to an extremely serious explanation about which dinosaurs would survive a volcano eruption and which wouldn't. I'd tucked him into bed while Joan stayed downstairs claiming she wanted tea, though I had a feeling she mostly just wanted distance from me.Now I stood by the kitchen entrance watching her quietly.She sat at the island wearing one of the oversized sweat
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 112
By late morning, the house had become too quiet.Not peaceful quiet.Heavy quiet.The kind that sat on my chest and made breathing feel like work.Victor had left for a doctor's appointment over an hour ago after asking me twice if I was sure I didn't want to come with him, and both times I'd told him no. Kai was in the living room building what looked like a dinosaur city with blocks and toy cars while some cartoon played softly in the background, and Brandon had stepped out earlier after receiving a call from work. That left me alone with my thoughts, which was honestly beginning to feel like the worst possible company.The lawyer meeting from yesterday still replayed in my head in fragments.Custody.Household assessment.Dean came prepared.Every time I thought about it too long, something cold settled inside my stomach.I tried distracting myself with work emails, but my attention span barely lasted three minutes before my mind wandered somewhere ugly again. Then I tried cleaning
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 024
~~Brandon~~When Victor asked to see me, this morning, he didn’t explain why. And although I wanted to, I didn't ask why either. He rarely requested my presence outside of our usual Thursday evening meetings, and I already understood that whatever the reason was, I was going to learn when I got th
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 023
~~Dean~~Today confirmed it. That boy was hers. I didn't have any proof, but after finally seeing them so close together, it was undeniable. My instinct had never failed me before.I came to that conclusion, not only from the way she shielded him, but from the resemblance. He looked like her too m
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 022
I liked silence most of the time. But today, the silence in my office wasn’t peaceful.The city stretched wide beyond my glass walls, sunlight bouncing off buildings like nothing in the world was complicated. But my mind kept spinning.I was stressed. Not just by the constant scheming and plannin
DON'T BEG ME NOW, MR. ARMSTRONG 021
"I don't dance." He was already pulling me toward the dancefloor before I finished the last word. He started dancing, moving his body in ways that made me crack a little smile. I was still quite upset with him. He was taking away my free will. I didn't like that. When he'd gone on for some minu
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