DON'T WANNA LOSE YOU NOW

          While preparing to hit the stage, Sunny gazed at the poster hanging on the wall, above her dressing table.

“‘Fosse Theater presents the last ‘Cabaret’ performance before its temporary closure. Starring Sunny Makkena as Sally Bowles’,” she read and a sad smile appeared on her lips. “The last show at the ‘Fosse Theater’. Starting tomorrow, the theater will close its doors. Man, I will miss this so much… The songs, the dancing numbers, every performance, every single person who made this dream of mine possible.”

          Even if the miracle lasted only a couple of weeks, Sunny enjoyed every moment of it. She loved so much acting alongside Alec Mendes, her best friend since she started working here. Alec was playing the role of the ‘Emcee’, the German host of the ‘Kit Kat Klub’, where the ‘Cabaret’ show was taking place.

“What the hell am I going to do now? This monthly paycheck was my salvation… Maybe I should reconsider working as a waitress again…” Sunny said and sighed. “I need the money like… right now. I have to pay my part of this month’s rent. And I need to pay my mother’s debt.”

          ‘You are my daughter. You must take care of my every need, it's your duty.’

          ‘I’ve always provided for you. Now it’s your turn to help me.’

          Her mother’s words… Sunny heard them over and over again, like an awful mantra. Every single letter was branded on her brain since she was fourteen.  

          Sunny shook her head and took a sit in front of the mirror, trying to apply perfectly her red lipstick. Out of the blue, the door opened and a man wearing a pair of black leather shorts kept up by suspenders, a white collar, a black tie, and painted spit black curls entered the room without being invited.

“Hello, ‘mein Schatz’ (German for ‘my darling’)!” he exclaimed with a fake German accent, just to stay in his part. “Are you ready for our last show? Do you feel good about it?”

          She smiled shyly and looked at Alec’s reflection in the mirror.

“After last night’s fiasco, I feel like I’m about to throw up,” she replied sweetly. “Otherwise, I’m doing just fine.”

“There were just a few tiny mistakes, Sunny. After all, up until two weeks ago, you were just the understudy,” Alec replied. “When Michelle, our obnoxious star, left the show in such deep shit, you jumped in and you did a pretty good job. The audience loved your every appearance.”

“If you say so…”

“I’m not the only one saying it, ‘mein Schatz’. The critics pointed that out too…”

          Sunny took a deep breath, trying to calm down the butterflies in her stomach.

“I love you, Alec. You are the best friend a girl can ever ask for, but you are such a terrible liar… After my first performance, every critic in town hated my gut. And they hated it every single time I performed. In every article I was compared to Michelle Stone, ‘the real star of the “Fosse Theater”, the perfect Sally Bowles’. This is why I stopped reading the newspapers, even though you kept leaving them here, in my dressing room.”

“I kept doing that because I wanted you to read them. To understand how good you are and how fortunate we are to have you here,” Alec countered gently, smiling at her with all his heart. “Sweetie, Greg Meisner said some pretty nice things about you. And he is a savage critic…”

          Alec went near her dressing table and searched under a stack of old newspapers and magazines.     

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m looking for a newspaper from two weeks ago. It must be somewhere around here. I know you don’t read critics’ columns, so I will read one for you. It’s an article published by Meisner a couple of days right after your first official show…”

“Please, Alex, just let it go. We’ve got no time for this nonsense. You must be on stage in about ten minutes and I need to finish preparing for my first number…”

“It will take us just a few seconds… But where the hell is that damn newspaper?”

“Come on, Alec, you know how much I hate critics! I don’t like reading their articles. Especially now. It will mess me up and I won’t be able to perform tonight.”

“Shh!” he shushed her quickly. “Ah, yes, there it is… Listen here…”

          After coming near her, Alec started flipping through the pages of the newspaper. When he finally found the article, Alec cleared his throat and in an extremely dramatic voice, started reading.

“Blah, blah, blah… ‘The Emcee is a classic performance, and after all this time, Alec Mendes still inhabits the role completely. He is SUPERB!’”

“And Meisner is right… You are so good in this role. You are superb indeed!” Sunny emphasized the word.

“Thank you, ‘Schatz’. You are too kind. Still, this is the part I was interested in reading. ‘All eyes are on the latest cast member, however. I’m talking about the understudy Sunny Makkena, who makes her Broadway debut playing the role of Sally Bowles, replacing Michelle Stone.’”

          The best-known theater critics in the whole of New York knew who she was… Sunny almost choked. She opened her mouth to beg Alec to stop reading, but her friend just went on.

“‘In spite of some pretty visible errors caused, perhaps, by her inexperience on stage, by her young age, the interpretation given by Miss Makkena compared to the one given for the last year, by Miss Stone, is more fragile and maybe too hesitant. Yet, it’s easy to imagine her as a good girl gone bad, living the most sinful life in the Berlin of the 30s. With flaming red hair that could be seen from row Z, Sunny Makkena is both wonderfully glamorous and extremely sleazy.’”

“He said ‘pretty visible errors’… He called my interpretation ‘Fragile and maybe too hesitant’. See? The most ferocious critic in New York did not like it…” she said almost in a whispery tone.

“Meisner also said you were both ‘wonderfully glamorous and extremely sleazy’… So, he did like it!” Alec exclaimed in a mischievous tone.

          A stage assistant knocked on the door, letting them know the show was about to start in five minutes. Sunny rose from her chair and gazed at Alec in disbelief.

“This is just the beginning, sweet girl!” Alec said and opened his arms to give her a hug.

          She accepted his embrace, trying not to cry.

“All those months you kept preparing this role, all those tears of frustration, your endless patience, brought you here, at this point. You are a little understudy no more, Sunshine Sky Makkena! You are now Sunny Makkena, a star in the making. And this is only the beginning, I promise you.”

“You’re sweet, but I’m no rising star, Alec… And after tonight, I’ll stop being an understudy also. Let’s face it! I will never be like Michelle. Still, no matter what, I will go out there, on the stage, offer the audience the best Sally Bowles I can possibly offer, and enjoy it while it lasts. After the last song, I will collect all my coins until the last dime, ‘Mein Lieber Herr’ (German for ‘Dear Sir’), go home, take a shower and go to bed,” she replied in a singing voice.

“And tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? We’ll see…”

          Sunny knew she had to keep her feet on the ground. Dreaming was beautiful, and making plans for the future was exciting, but not for someone like her. What she needed the most right now was the money. Her mother’s safety depended on her every paycheck.

“Come on, sweetie, stop being so pessimistic. Maybe this time, you’ll be lucky… Maybe tonight you’ll meet a gorgeous billionaire who will fall madly in love with you, ask you to marry him, and save all your problems.”

          Alec opened the dressing room’s door and Sunny exited the room.

“‘Everybody loves a winner/ So nobody loved me’”, she sang a couple of verses from ‘Maybe This Time’, one of the show’s musical numbers. “Come on, Mr. Emcee… Let’s show them what we’re made of.”

          And they joined the rest of the actors, all ready for the last show of that season. The curtain went up and Sunny saw Alec completely transformed, singing ‘Willkommen! And Bienvenue! Welcome!’