2 - Christmas Party

Chapter 2  - Jason

“… Jason…” 

He spoke out in a breathless tone and goodness… I couldn't deny knowing this voice too well when he called out my name among his cries for more, and I… I wanted it too if I hadn't had enough of this crap!

I shoved him more against the wall, hands pinned above his head while my manhood pressed against his.

I didn't want to please him; I just wanted him to shut up. Silence him with my lips and fill his mouth with my taste, even if I couldn't! 

Even if I knew I didn't want him back in my life, the desire to end this fake show with our bodies tangled in each other was there… ghosting me for him…

… ghosting me to let him take us…

"Ryan shut the fuck up!"

I growled a useless command while his scent gave out the very same confusion and disbelief I could hear in my shaking voice while intoxicating me with those lips, full of taut heat that I could still feel against mine…

My body stiffened; my pulse quickened for more of this desire, craving to get more of this spicy taste of him in a duel of tongues, which left me hard and wanting for him… But, again… 

It wasn't the main issue here. 

For a moment, my gaze melted into his chocolate brown eyes, taking me back to a place filled with the scent of warm brownies and hope. It took me back to when I was young and foolish in love. 

… no…

… no more…

… I won't let him in anymore…

As high as possible, I let my hardened shell surround me as I pulled myself away from him.

“Wh- why are you here…” with another step back, I lost myself in thoughts as no one had ever told me that he was back in town. “You… you shouldn't be him.” 

Ryan was still taller than me, and I could see now that I no longer locked on his eyes, the deep bags hanging below them… they were a perfect match to the dull skin that had lost the healthy tan from my memories.

“Him? Who are you talking about?” 

As he lost the smile his lips had, he spoke back, biting his bottom one in a way that made me want to taste them all over again. 

“Did you perhaps mistake me with someone else? I-I’m sorry I'm not him, and I…” Ryan hid his hands in the back pocket of his jeans, halting himself from getting closer to me like his feet wanted to while they moved back and forward, and he stumbled in his words. “… hmm… you might not even care about it, but I moved back last year.” 

He was right! I DIDN’T! I didn’t care about anything he had been doing! I didn't care if he was here or on Mars like he shyly whispered! 

“I had been helping our moms around and trying to set up a little business in town,” still, it didn't stop him from letting me know more about his life and what he was up to lately when his shyness went away. 

… His gaze was more similar to the Ryan I knew before, the one who broke my heart…

“I see. Good for you,” coldly, it was all I told him, turning around to go back to that damn party, which I never wanted to come to in the first place, fighting against everything inside me that made me want to run back to him.

… His lips, hold, skin… I just wanted to feel them all against mine, bare as the day we were born, even if it was against my own words and beliefs…

“Wait! Jason!” But for once, Ryan was the one who didn't let me go, unlike in the past. “Are you going to stay in town for a while? Can we- can you spare me a day or two for us to catch up?” 

He tried to put a smile back on his face in a failed attempt, rambling out questions that just made me want to seal his mouth with mine to shut him up, WHICH I SHOULD NEVER DO!  It was only the stupid mating bond thoughts speaking, none of this was me! 

“No, thanks! I honestly don't think we have anything we need to catch up on about each other’s lives,” pulling my arm back, I could feel half of my heart breaking in two due to the momentary sad expression he showed after hearing my answer. “Our Mothers might, strangely, be friends now, but it doesn't mean we need to be too. So, if you excuse me, I need to leave now... Merry Christmas.” 

Merry Christmas… was it appropriate to say right now?

I couldn't tell as I couldn't recall how I dealt with it in the past, while the only thing I had in mind at the moment was to get away from Ryan as fast as possible.

I didn't want to think about him anymore, I wouldn’t accept this!

I wouldn't accept any of that! I wouldn't accept that he's my Mate, even if against the Moon Goddess’s judgment!

Ryan had been part of my story, but it was all he was now! 

He was someone who I had left in the past and never wanted back ever again!

I didn't need a second chance with him or anything close to it! I didn't want to see him ever again, I didn't want to feel the touch of his fingertips against my skin or hear his kind words against my ears again… I didn't need any of this! I DIDN’T! I didn't need Ryan as my Mate!

It wasn't anything I asked for, I will never accept it!