CHAPTER 20

Staring at him deeply, little by little, I slowly began to understand everything. I rejected him not because I don't like him on that level. I was afraid. I was so afraid to break my own principles. I was afraid that I might end up being enslaved by my emotions. I was afraid I'd end up getting consumed by that feeling. I put him on the pedestal because that’s what I think is right. I let my mind control everything that I ended up lying to myself.

I'm afraid that once I gamble, I won't be able to give up. Because now, I realized I am very, very infatuated with him. And I fear the fate of how I feel. Because this time, I know I can't hold back anymore. I couldn't even hold it when I was still in denial, how much more now that I finally accepted that I do like him?

"You chose your clothes?" Rustov asked as he raised his hand behind my back. I shivered when I felt the warmth of his hand against my bare skin.

"Mommy did ..." I said almost mutely.

"Are yo