Chapter 5. Our Secret Garden

Joshua said "Just as Joshua" but there is nothing just about Joshua.

He said he would come with keke on Saturday. He came with a small car. Toyota Corolla, clean, vanilla air freshener.

White shirt. Black jeans. Arms bigger than I thought in his chef coat.

He looked at me and forgot how to breathe for two seconds.

"You look... wow," he said.

I wore yellow. My friend said yellow brings luck. I needed luck.

"Thank you," I said, trying not to blush.

We went to a small restaurant on Peter Odili Road. Quiet. Corner table. He knew the owner.

same because I wanted to look like I knew food.

"So," he said, "Sandra who can boil water."

"So, Joshua who burns tea."

We laughed. The Mark tension from Genesis yesterday was still in my chest, but with Joshua, it felt far away.

"Why did you and Mark break up?" he asked finally. "If you don't mind."

I took a deep breath. "Because we stopped being us. He was always tired. I was always complaining. We loved each other but we were not happy. I ended it. He said okay. Just okay. That okay broke me more than breakup."

He listened. Didn't interrupt. Didn't say Mark is bad. Just nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Our food came. I tried to use fork and knife to be classy and dropped chicken on the table.

•I LTE (14)

We burst out laughing. Loud. People turned.

"Sorry!" I picked it up.

"It's cute," he said.

Cute. No boy called me cute in a long time.

Mark called me stubborn.

He taught me how to mix curry. "You cook with love, not just salt," he said.

"I cook with fear," I said. "Fear of burning house."

Atter tood, we walked. He held my hand.

Soft. Not dragging. Just holding.

"Sandra, can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Do va mant to dive le a tru? For real? "Do you want to give us a try? For real?

Not just talking. I want to be your boyfriend. Not because you are my brother's ex. But because when you laugh, I want to hear it again tomorrow."

My heart beat so loud I thought he could hear it.

I thought about Mark. About Amara's status. "She collected two brothers."

But I thought about 6:02 PM texts. About voice notes where he waited for answer.

"Yes," I said. "Let's try. But let's be private.

No status. No cousin posting. Just you and me. Until we are sure."

He smiled. Big smile.

"Our secret garden," he said.

"Secret garden? You watch too much film."

"I watch cooking films. They have secret Ingredients

He hugged me before I entered the car.

First hug. Vanilla and curry. I liked it.

In the car, he played low gospel music.

"Do you love God?" he asked.

"Small small," I said.

"Good. We will need Him for this."

I felt happy for first time in months. I was dating his brother. And I was not sorry.

That happiness lasted until we reached my street.

O

My street was dark. NEPA had taken light.

But there was a car parked in front of my house. Black Camry. I knew that car.

Mark's car.

Mark was standing outside, leaning on it, with arms crossed And he was not alone.

Beside him was a woman in wrapper.

Small, fierce eyes. Wrapper tied tight.

Joshua's mother. Mark's mother. Their mother.

Joshua saw them and his hand tightened on the steering wheel.

"Sandra, don't come down," he whispered.

But it was too late. His mother had already seen me in his car. In yellow gown. Smiling.

She started walking toward us.

Mark's face was stone.

Joshua's mother knocked on my window.

Hard.

"So you are the girl moving from one brother to another inside one week?" she said, loud enough for my neighbors to said, loud enough for my neighbors to hear.

My yellow luck gown suddenly felt like shame