THE SAFEHOUSE

CHAPTER 5: The Safehouse

The safehouse was a hole in the wall, a forgotten relic of a war that had ended years ago, and it was also the closest thing to heaven Dimitri had ever known. Also because it was the first place he'd ever been truly alone with Nikolai Petrov.

They found it by accident, a small apartment in the industrial district that was abandoned and forgotten, the windows were boarded up, the walls were covered in graffiti and the electricity was out, but it had a bed, running water and privacy, and that was all that mattered.

Nikolai collapsed onto the bed with his face pale and his breathing shallow. The bullet graze on his shoulder was worse than he'd let on, deep enough to need stitches if they had them.

"We need to clean that," Dimitri said, his voice was flat and businesslike because he needed to focus on practical things, not on the way his heart was racing.

"Join me," Nikolai replied, his voice weak but still teasing. "We'll make it a one in a lifetime bonding experience. "

Dimitri ignored him and found a first-aid kit in the bathroom, old but functional. He knelt beside the bed and opened it with practiced efficiency, his hands were steady even though his heart wasn't. "Okay. Brace yourself. This is going to hurt," he warned.

Nikolai scoffed, unfazed. "Yeah no shit. Everything hurts, so that's the point. It’s not a big deal."

Dimitri cleaned the wound with careful precision, Nikolai didn't flinch, and they were silent except for the sound of their breathing and the scratch of the antiseptic against torn flesh.

"You could have killed me," Dimitri said finally, his voice was quiet and measured. "Back in the tunnels, because you could have left me behind."

"Yes. I could."

"Why didn't you?"

Nikolai was quiet for a long moment, then his voice was so soft that Dimitri almost didn't hear it. "Because if you're going to die, I want it to be by my hands."

Dimitri's heart stopped, as he looked up and met Nikolai's gaze. Something passed between them, something dark and dangerous and inevitable. Nikolai reached up and cupped his face, his thumb tracing Dimitri's jawline with a tenderness that made his breath catch.

"You're beautiful," Nikolai whispered, his voice was raw and honest. "Do you know that? When you're angry, when you're cold, even when you're covered in blood, you're still fucking beautiful."

Dimitri should have pulled away, he should have walked out and called his men, but instead he leaned into the touch and let himself feel. This was something that his entire body was screaming for him not to give into, but the pull was becoming almost impossible to ignore.

The kiss was different this time, slower and more deliberate. They explored each other’s mouth, mapping the territory with their bodies and their pain. Their clothes came off and as it got intense, Dimitri didn't remember who started it. Because maybe they both did, maybe neither did. 

They were tangled together on the narrow bed, all heat, need and hunger, as their bodies slid against each other like weapons, making the tension unbearable, electric and primitive.

Dimitri rolled on top of Nikolai, pinning him down because he wanted to be in control, he wanted to dominate and claim, but Nikolai's eyes flashed with something between defiance and desire, as he surged upward and reversed their positions, his weight pressed Dimitri into the mattress.

"Not so fast," Nikolai breathed, his voice dark and dangerous. "I'm not done with you yet."

Dimitri growled and flipped them again, as they wrestled for dominance in a silent battle that was more arousing than any foreplay, and then they both froze at the same time realizing what was happening and what wasn't happening.

The impasse.

Dimitri stared at Nikolai and Nikolai stared back, the silence stretched between them, heavy and awkward and utterly hilarious.

Then Nikolai spoke, his voice was flat with disbelief. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

Dimitri's face flushed, as he pushed himself up and scrambled away like a teenager caught with his hand in the cookie jar, his voice was sharp and defensive. "I am not bending over for you, Petrov."

The words hung in the air like a grenade with the pin pulled, as Dimitri sat on the edge of the bed with his back to Nikolai, his body still burning with unfulfilled need, as he could feel Nikolai's gaze on him, could hear the ragged edge of his breathing.

"Not bending over?" Nikolai repeated slowly, his voice thick with something between amusement and frustration. "You mean—"

"I mean exactly what I said, so it seems we have a problem."

Nikolai was quiet for a long moment, and then he laughed, a low disbelieving sound that morphed into something almost like genuine amusement. "Apparently we do. Seeing as we’re both tops."

"Yeah, smart ass. Obviously."

"All this time, all this undeniable tension between us and we're both—" Nikolai broke off and laughed again, the sound was warm and rich and utterly disarming. "This is literally insane. As a matter of fact, this is the most insane thing that has ever happened to me."

Dimitri finally turned to look at him, as Nikolai was sprawled across the bed naked and unashamed. His eyes were bright with mirth, he looked ridiculous and gorgeous and like everything Dimitri had ever wanted and never known how to ask for.

"You know, you should really work on your sense of humor. It’s highly inappropriate," Dimitri said flatly.

"My sense of humor? There’s nothing wrong with my sense of humor. As a matter of fact, that is the only thing keeping me sane right now." Nikolai propped himself up on his elbows, his smile knowing and warm. "So what are we gonna do about this?"

Dimitri's jaw tightened, his voice was controlled and measured. "What do you mean?"

"I’m talking about the tension and the fire. I feel it and I know you can too." Nikolai's voice dropped, his eyes were dark and serious. "And it doesn't just go away because we have a—" he gestured vaguely, "—positional disagreement."

Dimitri said nothing because Nikolai was right, and the fire was still there, burning hotter than ever, and now it was just complicated, and he didn't know what to do.

"I don't know what to do," he admitted, and it was the most honest thing he'd said in years.

Nikolai studied him for a long moment, and then a slow dark smile spread across his face. "Neither do I. But all I know is, I'm looking forward to figuring it out."

He reached out and took Dimitri's hand, his grip was warm and firm. "Stay tonight, just stay. We don't have to figure everything out right now, but all I know is, I don't want to be alone right now."

Dimitri looked at their joined hands, at the man who had been his enemy for three years, and he knew he should leave and walk away and forget this ever happened, but instead he lay back down and kept a careful distance between them because he wasn't ready to give in just yet.

"This doesn't mean anything, just for the record" he said again, his voice weak and unconvincing.

Nikolai smiled in the darkness, his voice warm and knowing. "Yeah I know. You've said that before."

And Dimitri knew that Nikolai was right. He knew that it was only a matter of time before it did mean something. In fact, they both did.