The Past is Back

I felt sick watching them make out in front of me, I wish I could just hit their heads against the wall.

"You're still here," his voice caused me to shiver. " Didn't I ask you to leave my house, what are you still doing here?" he screamed.

Fear gripped me, and I ran into my room. I was restless, I paced the room, where do I go? who do I turn to? I couldn't breathe properly; I felt like the walls were closing in on me.

The creaking sound of my door opening started me, but the sight of the person walking in disgusted me. "Why are you here, haven't you done enough?" I yelled.

Jessica looked around, her eyes filled with disgust; she wrinkled her nose like the whole place was smelling, "I came to help you pack," she replied. "But looking around, I'm not sure there is anything to pack. Your life is so pathetic," she continued.

"Get out!" I shouted, "I promise you, you will pay for every pain you have put me through," I moved closer to her, my eyes locked with hers, "One day I will pay you back."

She let out a loud laugh, "I want to see you try, I dare you," and with that, she left my room.

Growing up, Jessica was like a sister I never had, we did everything together. There were days Jessica couldn't feed because her parents had nothing, I would sacrifice my own food for her, days in school, she couldn't pay for textbooks, I would still from my dad for her. I loved her so much, I never wanted to see her in pain. When he father made money, she started distancing herself from me—like I didn't belong in her class anymore.

I fell to the ground crying; I couldn't hold back the tears; my heart felt so heavy. Why doesn't anything good happen to me? My life is a truckload of pain and bitterness.

"You have 3 hours to leave this house," Mrs Joy's harsh voice pierced my thoughts.

I walked into Beatrice's room, she was still fast asleep, I sat down beside her, my hands caressing her hair, "I'm so sorry baby, you have a weak mother like me, since I have nothing to offer you, I wanted to give you a happy and a united family, but I failed at that too." I wiped the tears from my face. "I'm so sorry, baby, but I promise I will come back for you." I kissed her forehead, standing up to leave.

"Mama, are you okay?" her warm tiny voice broke me into pieces. 

I turned to her immediately. "I'm fine baby. You're awake" I wiped my face, faking a smile.

"Why are your eyes so red? Have you been crying?" she sat up and placed her hands on my face.

I forced a smile, "Of course not; something got into my eyes earlier; that's why it's red."

"Listen to me, baby," I carried her on my lap, " Mummy will be going away for a while—I need you to be very strong for me, and don't forget that I love you so much; I promise you, I will be back.

"Where are you going, mama?" she asked, her face filled with curiosity.

"I...I—"

"Is it because of your new man?" she asked 

"What new man," my eyes widen with curiosity.

"Daddy told me last night, you have a new man, and you're leaving us for him—he said you don't love us anymore. Please don't leave me, mama. I have been a good girl—please, even if you don't love us anymore, we still love you so much."Tears streamed down her eyes, as she held me tight.

My whole body froze, I felt like my heart had been ripped out, only tears rolled down my cheeks. How cruel can Jerry be? How dare he tarnish my image in front of my daughter?

"Listen to me, Beatrice, there is no new man, I love you so much and nothing, and nobody can ever change that; please don't ever think that I don't love you."

"Then why are you leaving us?"

Watching my daughter question me like this shattered me. I could feel a scream coming from inside me, I used my hands to cover my mouth

"I'm not leaving you, baby, I'm just —"

"What are you doing in here!" Jerry's voice came like a clap of thunder from behind.

I jumped to my feet immediately, holding Beatrice tightly in my arms. "Jerry, Please, I don't want to go, please, I have nowhere to go; please have mercy on me; don't do this to me."

His mother came into the room and grabbed Beatrice from my arms, I fought, struggled, begged, but it was of no use.

"My baby needs me, please, Jerry," he just ignored me; he pulled me by my hair out of the room, I could hear Beatrice's voice crying and screaming, "Mama, please don't leave me."

Jessica ran and opened the door for him as he flung me out of the house.

"Beatrice,"  I kept screaming.

"She is better off without a mother like you," his eyes cold, and deadly. Just as he was about to shut the door, I caught a glimpse of Jessica staring at me with a cruel smile.

BOOM!

The door shut in my face.

Tears dropped down my cheek. This was the home I planned to live in till I get old and die. I was so convinced that Jerry will one day love me and accept me—but here I am thrown away in shame—Life.

But I promise them, they will look for me and they will beg me, I will make sure they never forget my name.