07: Do You Still Love Me?

Barbara.

**

I walked back into the house slowly, with a broken heart.

I did not know if I should ask Dante about who Lydia was or if I should just keep it to myself.

But keeping it to myself felt safer in the moment but it also felt like endangering my own heart.

I was a big overthinker and I did not want to live in assumptions only to hear the truth later and hate myself, the way I had with Keisha.

I needed to ask him.

I needed to know if Dante really had a child or if the message was some kind of error....but it could not be an error because Lydia was the same name the bank had told me about when the money left our joint account.

I swallowed hard as I opened the door to our room and stepped inside.

Dante was out on the balcony smoking.

He turned when he heard me and walked up to me with a soft look

“Hey, Barbie." he said and kissed my cheek.

I did not stare at him for long because I was still deliberating whether I should ask or just let the good moment stay peaceful.

He looked at me and raised a brow. “Is there something you want to say? You look so calm for someone who just finished touching herself.”

The words “touching herself” sent a strange chill through my body, but I waved the feeling off quickly because this was not the time to start lusting after a man who might or might not have a child.

I stared at him and forced the words out. “Dante, I want to ask you a question and I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me.”

He paused for a long time and looked at me deeply.

Then he turned his face away, lit his last cigarette, and started smoking.

After a moment, he nodded and looked back at me. “Sure. You can ask me.”

I swallowed hard. “Who is Lydia White?”

The whole room went quiet.

I stared at Dante but his expression did not change.

Nothing about his face showed guilt or surprise or any hard hit from the question.

He dropped the cigarette, cleared his throat, and turned to me. “Why are you asking?”

I looked at him and let out a short chuckle because he could not be serious. “Dante, stop playing me for a fool. My bank called me earlier today that some money was out....The money in our joint account was sent to a particular woman called Lydia White. And while I was outside grabbing your phone I saw a text from her and it said a whole lot of things. So, start explaining and do not make this about you right now.”

His eyes widened the way they always did when he was baffled or already pissed at me for speaking to him like that.

He walked closer and I started shaking even though I wanted the truth.

Something in me still got scared that any little thing could jeopardize our love and that was not what I wanted, but I needed to know regardless of how much I loved him.

“Give me my phone now.” he said.

I handed it over quickly.

He grabbed it from my hand and swallowed hard without looking at my face. “One problem about you, Barbara, is that you jump into conclusions. That head of yours thinks of every negative possibility and then when you find out there is nothing you can gain from it you come here to traumatize me with whatever your head is throwing inside of you.”

I stared at him trying to understand how that statement even connected to what I had just asked. “That is not what I am actually asking.”

He rubbed his head in frustration. “Exactly, and I am coming to it, Barbara. Just earlier today you had to go to that innocent lady’s house just to accuse her of being my side piece. Now you are asking me about a message you saw and some bank account, and I am not saying you do not have the right to want to know things but sometimes you have to know how to approach things.”

I frowned.

Was he actually serious?

Approach a thing like this?

“Dante, are you fucking serious?” I whispered.

He stepped even closer. “First of all, Barbara, you checked my phone, and that questions how much trust you've got for me. And secondly you have been accusing me non-stop. Sometimes I wonder if this is just your way of trying to end things with us so you can go be with my half-brother.”

I rolled my eyes. “Dante, do not do this now. Graham has no business here, and I trust you very much but sometimes I tend to just be human and want to know everything.”

He nodded slowly. “Fine. I am going to tell you who Lydia is. Firstly, Lydia is the girlfriend of my late friend Jordan. I told you about him. Unfortunately they had a baby together but during Jordan’s time on his deathbed he told me to make a promise to him to take care of his child and be present as a father figure until the boy turns eighteen and has a mind of his own. And I, being generous had to do that. But I could not tell you because this is not your cross to carry....It is my cross..”

Something inside me broke.

What the fuck had gotten into me?

How could I be so stupid?

A deep sense of guilt washed over me for even thinking Dante would want to hurt me that way.

I swallowed hard and hated myself in that moment, because earlier I had accused him and now I had done it again over nothing.

Dante had always been a responsible man.

How could I have concluded something so ugly about him so fast?

I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me short.

“It is fine, Barbara. It was my fault for not letting you know before transferring that money, and your feelings were valid. I just do not like the idea that you do not trust me. And it is making me look like I am not being chosen anymore. Barbara, do you still love me?”

I moved closer and held his hand because what did he even mean by that question?

Of course I do.

I was ready to do anything for him.

“Yeah, of course I love you very much, Dante. If I don't love you I would not be out here trying to be protective.”

He held my chin gently. “Then why don't you just believe in me rather than seeing the negative sides of things about me?”

I bent my head because he was right.

I needed to learn to stop doubting him so quickly. “I am so sorry, Dante.”

He smiled and pulled me into a hug. “It is fine. I know you are feeling very worked up but how about you just go to sleep so you can feel better?”

I nodded. “And about the whole money, you do not have to regret doing that....I am proud of you for wanting to help Jordan.”

He laughed quietly. “Thank you so much, babe.”

I nodded again and stood up. “I think I need to use the bathroom and then go to sleep.”

“Barbara....” he called out, holding my hands gently.

I paused and turned.

He stood up and walked over until he was right behind me.

His lips brushed my neck lightly and I felt his warm breath against my skin as he whispered. “We are actually going to keep on with the court wedding, yeah? Or have you decided to dump me for Graham?”

I turned and hit him playfully on the chest. “Of course not.”

He lifted me up into his arms with that easy strength of his and looked into my eyes. “Will you marry me, Miss Barbara Lincoln?”

I laughed even though my heart was still full of everything that had just happened. “I will marry you, Mr. Dante Del Mundo.”

We both laughed and he leaned closer. “Is this the part where we kiss?”

I nodded and our lips met.