Chapter 9

Kilian’s Pov

After going through files for hours and signing off documents, my head was pounding. The board meeting, the rival company’s threats, the endless calls—everything was just noise. I didn’t want to hear anyone's voice again. I just wanted peace. Silence. A cold glass of whiskey and sleep. That was all I needed.

As I drove home, my thoughts drifted to her. Lilith.

The girl who asked me a question this morning that got stuck in my mind all day.

Do you hate me that much?

Who does she think she is to ask me that? Who gave her the right to question anything? This is my house. My rules. She’s only here because she has to be.

I parked and stepped out of the car. My legs moved on their own. I didn’t want to see anyone, but for some reason, I went inside and found Rose in the hallway.

“Good evening, sir,” she said politely.

I don’t even know why I asked her. “Where is she?”

“Lilith is in the garden,” Rose answered.

I didn’t respond. Just nodded and started walking to the garden. My heart wasn’t racing. My body wasn’t tense. But my head... it was already tired, and I knew seeing her would only make it worse.

So she decided to show her true colors, huh?

That’s what I thought as I turned the corner.

And there she was.

Talking. Smiling. With Zoey of all people. And worse, she was painting. With real brushes. On a canvas. On my property.

I didn’t even stop to think.

“Who asked you to paint here?” I snapped. “Why the hell did you bring paint into my house?”

She stood up immediately. “I’m so sorry. It was your brother that told me to do it.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “My brother told you to paint and you went ahead after I specifically told you not to?”

Before she could answer, I heard Nolan’s voice from behind.

“ Killian, I was the one that asked her to paint.”

I clenched my jaw. My fists tightened by my side. I turned slightly, ready to speak, but he cut in.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Nolan said firmly. “Let’s go.”

I didn’t say anything. I just followed him out of the garden.

We didn’t speak again until we reached the top of the stairs and entered my room. Nolan shut the door behind us and turned around with that look on his face—the one he wears when he’s about to say something I won’t like.

“Why the hell are you treating your wife like that?”

I stared at Nolan, stunned. His words echoed in my head.

I blinked, then scoffed. “Nolan, why are you asking me such a question?”

He folded his arms across his chest, his expression calm but sharp. “You know why I’m asking you. I see how you treat her. How you disrespect her. I know what she did, Killian, but you remember she didn’t do it purposely.”

I clenched my jaw. My chest tightened with that familiar sting—the one I carried every day like a chain around my neck. “You don’t have to remind me,” I said coldly. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?” he asked. “Because it doesn’t look like it. Why is she not allowed to be happy, huh? Why are you punishing her for something that broke her just as much as it broke you?”

“Why is she trying to be happy,” I snapped, “when she made me who I am today? When she’s the reason I don’t even recognize myself anymore?”

Nolan’s voice softened, but it didn’t lose its weight. “You don’t have to blame her anymore. Even if you don’t love her or want to acknowledge her as your wife, she still is your wife. And she deserves that respect.”

I gave a cold laugh. “It’s quite funny, hearing all this from you, Nolan. My brother—lecturing me about respect and love. Have you taken a good look at your own relationship? You and Zoe? Don’t act like you’re perfect.”

His brows furrowed, but his voice remained firm. “This isn’t about me and Zoe. This is about you. Stop deflecting and face what you’re doing.”

“Coming from you?” I scoffed. “Stop the joke.”

Silence hung in the air. Heavy. Tense.

Then I muttered, “By the way, you have all the money in the world. You’re renovating your house, aren’t you? You have buildings in other states, cities. Why not stay in one of them?”

His eyes narrowed slightly. “Are you trying to chase me away?”

I shrugged. “No. I’m just... concerned. That’s all.”

He took a step forward. “I want to spend time with my brother. Or do you have a problem with that, brother? If you don’t want to see me, you won’t even see me for a month.”

I turned away, the weight in my chest growing heavier. “Just go away, Nolan. I just want to rest. Please. Just go.”

There was a pause. Then his voice came quieter this time. “Just remember what I said. Try to respect her. It doesn’t hurt to respect someone.”

I didn’t respond. I just nodded once.

He opened the door and walked out.

The door clicked shut behind Nolan, and the silence hit me harder than anything. I stood there for a few moments, rooted in place, my mind spiraling. Slowly, I sank onto the edge of the bed. My hands trembled as they ran through my hair, and I felt the frustration building—tight, suffocating.

Fuck.

I squeezed my scalp, my nails digging into my skin, wanting to tear something, anything, out. The urge to scream felt like a pressure, pushing against my chest, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. My throat closed. So I grabbed my phone, desperate for something to hold onto. Anything.

I scrolled aimlessly through the pictures, all the usual ones—the ones with Nolan, with Zoe, with business deals—but none of them mattered. My eyes were drawn to one, though. One that made my heart drop into my stomach.

Kate. Her face. Her smile.

She was giving me a peck on the cheek, her blonde hair falling over her face, her eyes soft with that tender affection she always gave me. God, how I missed her. I wasn’t supposed to, I couldn’t miss her anymore. But I did. More than I wanted to admit.

I found myself staring at the photo for longer than I should’ve, my heart twisting, every damn memory flooding in, louder than the silence that surrounded me.

I wasn’t the type to cry. I’d never allowed myself to. It was weakness. But right now, I felt like a fucking thief, stolen by grief, by loss, by the weight of what I couldn’t have. The tears didn’t fall, but they burned at the back of my eyes. I clenched my jaw, trying to hold them back, but my hands shook even harder now.

I could hear her voice, faint but clear in my mind, whispering, “You’ll be fine. You’ll move on.” But I couldn’t. I couldn’t forget her. And the idea of even trying to be with anyone else—like Lilith... it felt like I was betraying Kate all over again.

“I’ll never fall in love with your sister,” I whispered to the empty room. “I can’t. It’d be like I’m betraying you, Kate. Betraying everything we were.”

My voice cracked, and I hated myself for it.

I missed her so much. More than I thought was possible.

The guilt squeezed my chest, and I could almost hear her laughter again, like a melody in the background, comforting me, yet haunting me. My throat felt thick, my chest suffocating. The room seemed to spin, and I wasn’t sure how to stop it. How to stop feeling like this.

I wished I could’ve stayed with her. I wished I could’ve died with her, so I wouldn’t have to feel the weight of all this anymore. But that wasn’t reality.

“I miss you so much, Kate... I miss you,” I murmured, the words barely escaping my lips, raw and empty.

I couldn’t tell if the tears were real or just a damn illusion. All I knew was that I couldn’t breathe without her. I couldn't imagine living this life without her by my side.

And no matter how many times I tried to move on, no matter how many times I told myself I would... I couldn’t.

“I wish you were here,” I said quietly, my voice breaking.

Author Note:

If you're still reading, thank you so much. I'll appreciate comments and I promise not to bore you.