12.

☆☆SUMMER’S POV☆☆

He kissed me like he meant it. Like I was already his. Not the sweet kind of kiss people talk about. Not gentle or tender or careful. This wasn’t a fairy tale. This wasn’t love.

His kisses were the type that undoes you. It  was need. It was heat and hunger and whispered promises.

His mouth tasted like mint and madness. His hands were hot, rough in some places, careful in others, like he couldn’t decide whether to worship or destroy me.

I didn’t say a word.

I didn’t need to.

His breath was hot against my skin as he pulled back from me, his hands anchoring me like the moment might slip away if he let go. 

Why was my heart busy doing backflips when I was on the verge of dying?

The air was charged and it pulsed between us to the extent I could barely breathe.

Right now, I just wanted to forget.

Forget the rumors. The lies. The ache that had been building up between Hayden and I for weeks.

I wanted to feel something real.

Hayden looked as if he was fighting demons in his head, debating if he wanted this or not. Then he kissed me again.

This time, slower. Deeper. His tongue brushed mine with a reverence that didn’t match the filthy promises he’d just made.

His shirt hit the floor with a light thud, then his fingers curled around the hem of my hoodie and paused, breathing hard. His lips were red. His eyes darker than usual, like something inside him had come loose.

“You okay, Summer?” he whispered.

I nodded.

No, I shook.

Our clothes vanished. I didn’t even remember how. One second I was fully dressed, the next I was in just my underwear. Black bra. Matching panties.

Then his eyes drank in every inch of my curves like he was memorizing me. But under Hayden’s scrutiny, I might as well have been completely naked.

All the times we've made out, I'd never been this bare. This vulnerable. Because I had been too shy. As if satisfied, he smiled and raised his eyes to meet my flickering gaze. 

“Wanna turn off the light?”

“What?”

“The light.”

I was losing all sense of reason at that moment. I wondered if he noticed my discomfort. I tried to hide it, but was afraid he might have noticed.

“Yeah. Sure,” I murmured.

“Okay.”

He switched off the light and returned to me through the darkness. When his mouth found my collarbone, I whimpered.

“You sound so hot.”

Hayden’s fingers gripped my waist, slid under the band of my panties and grabbed my bums.

“And you’re fucking soft everywhere. You feel so good,” he whispered against my throat, his grip firmer on my ass cheeks.

“Tell me to stop. Please, Summer. Say it now or don’t say it at all.”

I didn’t say it.

I couldn’t.

I kissed him harder instead. Pulled him closer. I was done being scared. Done pretending I didn’t want this.

“Summer…” he said, voice breaking slightly, “if you want me to stop—”

“Don’t,” I whispered. “Don’t stop.”

Our kiss deepened. I wanted him. The way he touched me. The way he looked at me. Like I wasn’t some girl in the background anymore.

Hayden was in his boxers, his length pressing hard on me. He lifted me in his arms. My back hit the mattress. I gasped again—this time louder. His weight followed.

It should’ve scared me. But It didn’t. Instead it grounded me. His hand slipped beneath my panties. My hips jerked. My breath hitched. I was a live wire under him, every nerve exposed. 

He tossed the panties aside, and my bra came undone next. I was underneath him, as bare as the day I was born—skin on skin. 

Maybe tonight, I would be reborn. 

He planted soft kisses on my lips… then stopped. Heat, and the frantic sound of our breathing filled the air. Our eyes locked. The world stopped spinning. There was something feral in his gaze.

Something wild. Like he wasn’t just about to have me—he was about to break me.

Hayden reached for his pants on the floor, slipped into the pocket and brought out his wallet. Then he pulled out a condom.

You carry that around?

Reality slammed into me like cold water.

This was real.

This was happening.

He tore it open slowly with his teeth, his eyes never leaving mine. I gulped down. 

“Mind helping me?” He gestured below.

My hands trembled as I pulled his boxers down.

“Good girl,” he smiled.

The length of his cock both frightened and enthralled me. It was magnificent. But deep down, I wondered how something this big would fit into the tiny opening between my legs. Biologically speaking, reproduction was never my strong suit.

Then he slipped on the condom with practiced fingers, releasing a breath that sounded like it hurt. Suddenly, his body hovered over mine—muscle, tension, control barely held together.

My hardened nipples brushed against his hunky chest, sending relentless jolts of electricity coursing through me without mercy. He smiled when I shuddered beneath him.

I felt detached, as though I were floating outside my body, watching the scene unfold in live 3D. His arms trembled slightly as he steadied himself above me.

“You’re fucking beautiful, Summer Peterson.”

I blinked, my heart racing.

His eyes were still locked on mine. Then something shattered behind his gaze.

There was nothing more.

No movement.

No warmth pressing into me.

Just him. Still. Frozen. Like he’d hit an invisible wall.

“Hayden?” I whispered. “What’s wrong?”

He let out a long, rough breath. Then rolled off me, landing on his back, forearm over his face.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No. You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, pulling his boxers to his waist.

I blinked at the ceiling, chest heaving, heart in my throat. Was that it? Nothing. Say more. Please. Say more.

“I can’t,” he said hoarsely. “I… I fucking can’t do this.”

The words sliced straight through me.

My naked body went rigid—jaw locked, eyes stormy. Every inch of my skin prickled; my throat tightened.

What was I supposed to do with the wetness clinging between my thighs? I’d been ready for his dick inside me, not this soft side of Hayden, already growing limp.

“I think I did something wrong. I just know it. I did something wrong, didn’t I?”

Hayden turned his head to me, eyes wide, pained. “No. God, Summer—no. That’s not it.”

“Then what is it? You said you wanted this.”

He let out a twisted laugh and rubbed his hands over his face. “I did. I do. Fuck, Summer, I want you so bad it makes me sick.” He paused. “But not like this.”

“Then—why? Why’d you stop? You think sleeping with me would hurt me?”

He didn’t know he was hurting me already.

He looked at me like he was trying to choose between loving me and destroying me. 

“Do you even want this?”

“…”

“See? I think if I let myself have you, I won’t stop. I’ll take everything. Not just your body. Your heart. Your trust. All of it. And I’ll ruin it. I’ll ruin you.”

“But you said—”

“I know what I said.” His voice cracked. “But saying it and doing it are different.”

“Then why come here?”

“Because I needed someone to talk to.”

He turned his face toward me again.

“But now that I’m here… I can’t treat you like some random hookup. You’re not some fantasy I get to fuck and forget.”

I bit my lip, hard. The sting kept the tears at bay.

“Then what am I to you?”