13.

☆☆SUMMER’S POV☆☆

Hayden looked at me for a long, long time. I stared at him. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to cry or scream at the moment.

“What am I to you?” I asked again.

“You’re Summer, my brother’s best friend,” he answered. “I don’t love you enough to fuck you. And I don’t hate you enough to fuck you. That’s all.”

Yep! There it is.

The confession I had been waiting for. I didn’t know what to say to that. My heart thrashed against my ribs like it wanted out. My body still burned for him, but my soul felt raw and exposed.

“You really don’t love me, do you?” I asked softly. Desperately.

Hayden stood up from the bed, grabbed my  hoodie, and tossed it at me like a shield. Then he ran a hand through his hair.

“Tell me, Hayden. Don’t you feel anything for me? We’ve been doing this for weeks now. At least, you should feel something. Right?”

“I’m going to be honest with you, Summer. I get hard just thinking about the way you’ll sound when I’m buried deep inside you. Tonight, I wanted your legs shaking, your voice hoarse, and your nails in my back. Do you call that love?”

“What?”

“Longing. Lusting. That’s what it is.”

“Well, that’s enough for me, then,” I heard my voice say.

Hayden’s eyes pierced mind. “You don’t get it, do you?” he whispered. “I don’t want to be your first.”

Silence. My breath caught.

Then softer, like another confession, he said, “I’ve fucked up a lot of things in my life. But I can’t fuck up you. I came here thinking if I could just have you, I could move on. Stop this obsession and rage in me. But I was wrong.”

His gaze dropped to the bed, to my flushed skin, to the way I was looking at him like he was both salvation and sin.

“You’re not a mistake I’m allowed to make, Summer Peterson.”

“Don’t I get to have a say in all this? At least, for myself?” I heard my voice break again, desperately.

“If you let me have you, I’ll ruin you. Just like every other thing I’ve touched.”

“Don’t you mean every other girl? And the ones you still have sex with? What if what I want is to be ruined? By you?”

Hayden didn’t answer. Not for a long time. He just stared at me like I was both the fire and the reason he couldn’t burn.

Then he exhaled, and the sound broke me. He slipped into his pants and shirt—which he didn't button up—and grabbed his tux jacket. He halted at the door, half turned, showing his perfect side profile, a smirk on his face.

“Then get ready for the ride, Stranger. I’m going to be in your veins, your thoughts, your every breath. You’ll wake up aching for me and fall asleep haunted by me. I’ll be the sin you crave—and the only hell you’ll ever burn in… is me.”

The door clicked shut. He was gone. 

And I just lay there, heart hammering, body still trembling, skin still tingling from every place he’d touched. Hayden didn’t fuck me.

But somehow… he still managed to fuck me up. He just left a threat promising to consume me. Was he aware I wasn’t ready to have sex yet? Did he see through me? Was that why he stopped?

The way he read me like I was a story he’d re-written a thousand times in his head, flashed through my mind—only this time, he wanted to feel every word he'd written, carved into my soul.

The memory of his body on mine engulfed me and I squeaked, burying my head under the sheets. It felt as if my heart would explode. Everything seemed like a dream.

I didn’t lose my virginity tonight. But I might have lost something worse: my sanity. I grabbed a bum short and a singlet from the closet and got dressed. 

Then I went downstairs and locked the door. I couldn’t sleep that night. I stared at the starry ceiling, asking myself if it had all been a dream.

Hayden confessed to feeling something for me. Even though it wasn’t love… Hayden felt something for me. 

Just then, my phone buzzed on the floor. I’d totally forgotten about it.

Bestie.

I picked up.

“Hey,” Jake said.

“Hey.”

“I’m sorry I was caught up throughout the night. I Just wanted to say, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.?’”

“Okay. Can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

Something slammed in my chest. Scattered glimpses of Hayden’s bloody lips and hand. 

“Jake,” I called before he could hang up.

“Yeah?”

“Did something weird happen over there?”

Jake was silent for a while.

“It’s unbelievable. It’s better I tell you in person,” he said. “So meet me at our spot in the woods?”

“Sure.”

“Goodnight, Summer.”

Then he hung up.

I stared at the phone.

I was deeply worried. If Jake wanted to meet in person for something he could say on the phone, it would definitely be a big reveal.

Hayden’s words still burned inside me. I wondered what Jake had to say. It could be about Hayden’s betrothal. My guts told me it had gone downhill.

For the love of my fragile little heart—and whatever’s left of my common sense—I really hope that engagement went up in flames faster than my chances at a normal love life.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Dad’s voice. He was on the phone downstairs. I stayed quiet and listened, unsure if it was all in my head.

“Yeah, he’s hiding something,” Dad said, his voice tight. “Set a meeting up with me and Luke by 2PM”

It’s real. My eyes widened.

“Dad!”

I pulled the covers off and got up. I ran down the stairs happily. Downstairs, Dad was pacing, phone pressed to his ear.

I walked over and jumped on him. 

“Hey, Princess,” he said, kissing my cheek.

“Morning.”

He pointed to his phone. “Tell Livia to cancel all appointments by 2PM. I have to have that meeting with Luke.”

Who the hell is Luke? And why does Dad sound like he’s ready for war?

He hung up and focused on me. His lips stretched into a smile, observing me.

“How did my little princess sleep? You missed me?” 

I was grinning and swaying like a child. 

“You bet, I missed you. 20 bucks said Keith didn’t.”

Then my eyes caught a shadow at the back door. Keith. Slipping away like a ghost.

Dad laughed. “That little brother of yours is trouble,” he said. “Where is he by the way?”

“Behind you,” I almost said, but kept shut.

Keith placed a finger against his lips, telling me to keep quiet. He slowly walked upstairs to avoid being caught by Dad. Then Dad’s phone rang again. 

“I gotta take this, bunny.” He ruffled my hair and walked into the kitchen.

Keith took a peek from upstairs and saw Dad walking into the kitchen, busy with his phone call. Then he ran downstairs, acting as if he had been home all night.

“Good morning, Fam,” he said out loud for dad to hear. He turned to me. With a smirk, he said, “Good morning, Sissy.”

“Shut up, Keith.”

“That hurts!” He held his hands over his chest, pretending my words cut him deep. 

I walked down to the couch and laid down.

“Guess what?”

“I don’t care.”

“I heard a rumor about your sworn enemy,” said Keith.

I arched a brow, surprised. Now that got my attention.  

“Is it who I’m thinking?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Hayden,” he blurted. “Dude got expelled from school.”

My heart dropped.

“What? Who told you that?”

“It’s on a blogger’s page on I*******m. I think Diana posted it first.”

He pulled his phone from his pocket and swiped. He flashed it in my face and I saw the post. I was shocked to the bone.

Then it all clicked. The blood. The reason Hayden was here last night. 

He had a fight with his dad.