Chapter Four..

Friday is finally here, and it couldn't have come soon enough.

I can see why Chrissy pushes me to get a life. I'm young, and I feel like I live my life on repeat.

I wake up, go to work, come home, and sleep.

I'm surprised I haven’t fallen down the rabbits' hole into a state of depression.

Maybe that's why I’m so reluctant to agree to go on a date with Luca.

I mean, look at me, what do I have to offer a man like him?

I'm a broken mess, and I refuse to let an Italian-God try to fix me.  

Occasionally, I wonder to myself if I'll ever be ready to let a man into my life wholeheartedly.

Argh!

Why do I do this to myself?

Why do I feel like I'm not worthy or undeserving of love or being loved?

When will I stand up and scream.

“THIS IS ME, and I'M BLOODY AWESOME?”

If I can’t learn to accept myself with all my flaws, how can I depend on someone else to love me unconditionally?

I'm seriously going to end up like a crazy cat lady with a house full of strays instead of grandchildren.

I shiver at the mere thought of that being my future.

'God…. Nessa! Pull yourself together and get a life already, woman."

I sigh, walking over to the window and looking up at the sky.

My phone rings.

“Hello….” I answer on the third ring.

“I haven’t been able to get you off my mind, cara mia. You're slowly killing me here." Luca greets me hoarsely. "Have dinner with me tonight?”

“What… no hello?” I titter playfully. “Are you asking me or telling me to have dinner with you tonight?”

I sit on the bed and lay back, looking up towards the ceiling.

[Hello] “Salve Vanessa, please have dinner with me tonight?” His voice becomes less demanding and laced with amusement.

“I’m not ready to sit down with you alone just yet,” I tell him honestly.

'So much of THIS IS ME, AND I'M BLOODY AWESOME.' My inner goddess laughs at me.

“Ditto, I don’t think I can trust myself around you either. I can’t even trust myself with you in my dreams, Bellissimo. But, I promise you that nothing will happen that you don’t want to. I’m not a complete animal.  I. Am. Tameable." He replies roughly.

Tameable, he reckons. I snicker. 

I have a strong feeling this man can't be tamed, no matter how much he believes he can be. 

I decided to have a little fun of my own and test the waters.

“Well…  you see the problem here, Luca. Is that I don’t know if I want you tamed. The wild dreams I’ve been having about you with your head stuck between my thighs as I run my fingers through your hair." I let a soft moan depart my lips. "Pulling your face closer towards my rocking hips is something more of a reality I’d like to experiment with you. But there’s just one problem…”

“Being what?” He clears his throat, sounding erotically aroused.

“I’m still just… Not. That. Into. You. It’s the whole me, not you-”

“I’ll be there around 8 pm to pick you up. And… Vanessa, don’t keep me waiting.” He grounds out, cutting me off.

Shit!

Tameable, my ass! 

Not the outcome I was gunning for.

“No! I didn’t mean to-” I started to argue.

“You should've thought about that before starting something you hadn’t intended to finish.” He cuts me off again.

“I was just having some fun. You said you were tameable.” 

“I lied.” He declares.

I groan, falling a victim to his games. 

“I’ll be there at 8 pm.”

“I SAID…”

...Beep, beep, beep…

He hung up!

He actually hung up on me. I sit up and tap into my messages.

Vanessa: I'm sorry, but I'm not available for dinner tonight. 

DING…

Luca: Don’t keep me waiting, Vanessa. Dress comfortably.

I get up off the bed and start to pace the room.

This inner battle I seem to be fighting with Luca is getting tiring.

Especially when I'm fighting with myself.

I decide that a stroll through the park across town might help to distract myself from constantly thinking about him and to get my emotions in order.

I want him.

But,

I'm like a scared little mouse who refuses to take the plunge and give love a shot. 

>>>

When I return home, the door's wide open.

'Chrissy must be back from work already.' I think to myself. 

I make my way towards the kitchen, and I can hear some light chit-chat going on.

One of the voices belongs to Chrissy and the other voice…

The closer I get to the kitchen, the more familiar it becomes. I reach the kitchen, and my eyes instantly land on the back of Luca's head.

He’s sitting down on one of the stools, chatting away to Chrissy like they are old friends catching up.

“Lu…. Hmm… Luca,” I stutter, clearing my throat.

“You're here?” I ask, gob smacked into silence.

Gracefully removing himself from the kitchen stool, he approaches me as his lips slowly turn upwards into a heart-stopping smile.

“Dinner plans, remember? It’s now…” He looks at his watch that clings nicely to his tanned wrist.

“8.14. pm. luckily, I arrived just as your lovely friend Chrissy…” He nods in Chrissy’s direction. “Was opening the door. She was lovely enough to let me in while we waited for my very impulsive date to get back.” He plasters another smile on his very irritatingly handsome yet annoying face.

“Oh, dear, sir. However, will I forgive myself for making you wait for a dinner date that I continuously turned down. Oh, the horror, Luca…” I touch my head with the back of my hand dramatically, and when I look at him, those luscious lips of his twitch.

“Luca,” I sober from my theatrics. “I don’t know how many times I need to tell you I’m just not ready.” I place my hands on my hips.

“Liar!” Chrissy yells while dragging her ass off the stool and walking towards me.

She reaches my side and loops our arms together, then she spins us around and heads out towards the living room.

“Don’t go anywhere. She’ll be right back. I just need to talk some sense into her.” She throws over her shoulder.

“Chrissy, seriously. I’m not going to dinner with him,” I say through gritted teeth the moment we enter the living room.

“Oh yeah, you are, Nessa. No more games or hiding. The man is obviously into you. He's very charming, and may I add. He looks like a sex god.” She fans her face with the back of her hand.

“Then you have dinner with him, and let me know how it goes.” I say as I cross my arms defensively over my chest.

“Oh, come on, Nessa.” She titters. “Stop being so uptight, will you?”

“I knew it!” I yell at her, trying to keep my voice down. “I am not uptight! I just… I just don’t want to go out with him.”

“You just don’t want to catch feelings.” She says as her eyes penetrate mine and touch my soul.

“Fine.” I throw my hands up in the air, feeling defeated. “But I’m not changing! If he wants dinner with me, he’s going to have to enjoy my company like this.” I glide my hands down my maxi dress with sandals.

“Deal.” His voice is seductively deep as he cuts in. “But to be honest, anything you wear does crazy things to my libido.” A low growl escapes from him as he continues to speak.

I spin around towards the living room entrance and find Luca leaning against the door jamb with both hands shoved into the front pockets of his slacks.

I hadn’t noticed him wearing a dark navy-blue suit. The jacket definitely emphasises his broad shoulders.

Lord, have mercy!

I sigh loudly.

“Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?”

He pushes off the door jamb and starts to walk towards me.

“Can’t call it ears dropping if I wasn’t hiding and the doors wide open.” He smirks at me snuggly.

“I’ll call for my driver now that you’ve come to your senses. Si?”

“You’re a smug son-of-a-bitch, aren’t you?” I sneer at him.

“I can be whatever you want me to be, baby. But just remember… It was you who got yourself in this position.” He says and raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I look at him quizzically.

“Si, you do. You told me how you had pictured my head between you’re…”

“Oh god, stop.” I cut him off.

“Nessa…. You said what?” Chrissy looks at me, grinning.

I look at Luca and stab my finger into his chest when he stops in front of me.

“Breathe another word of that conversation, and I’ll make your life a living hell. Do you understand me?” I ground out, scowling at him.

“Si. Is that a promise?” He winks at me with a challenging look in his gaze.

“You’re unbelievable. Do you ever not think with your dick?” I shake my head.

“Where you’re involved, tesoro.

My dick seems to do most of the thinking.” He licks his lips, looking at mine.

“Don’t even think about it.” My palm itches to connect with his face.

“No, don’t stop! This is…. This is fucking spectacular. There is so much sexual tension here. It’s getting me all hot and flustered.” Chrissy bounces on her feet with excitement.

“Shut up, Chrissy,” I growl, my eyes never leaving his.

“You have to let him have his wicked way with you, Nessa. He’s visually eating you up, girl.” She whispers in my ear.

“No.” I swallow the built-up saliva loudly.

I won’t make it out alive. I cringe inwardly.

“You light me up like a little firecracker, Vanessa." Luca purrs with amusement.

“Get it, girl.” Chrissy pushes me. I stumble forward, losing my balance, and Luca catches me.

I look up at Luca as he looks down at me. His thumb grazes my cheek, and I close my eyes, giving into the sensations traveling through my body.

“You ready, cara mia?” He whispers in my ear.

“Uh, yup.” I straighten and step away from him.

He is too close. Too hot, and too damn tempting.

“After you.” He smirks.

I walk towards the kitchen to retrieve my bag and take a few deep breaths before I’m left alone to walk into the Lion's Den.

“You can thank me later!” Chrissy yells from the living room.

That’s if I don’t end up suffocating you in your sleep when I return, woman.