is it even sad?

Chapter 6

Joshua POV

Mum left after cleaning the wounds and lecturing me. I don’t get it, how can she always manage to see bad in me. While smoking standing in the balcony, I was thinking what life would I had if Josh wasn’t born and I know this is not right to think, but all I could think that he is the main reason of my miseries. He has never ever understood me; all he does is scold me and taunt me. I have seen any brotherly bonding between us and he contributed to it equally.

                 It kills me from inside every time I see him coming near Babi. I know she is his friend first but that doesn’t mean that I cannot love her. In this whole world she is the only person who understands me. She is literally my anchor who stops me from falling from edge.  Tears were rolling from my eyes while cigarette smoke