Chapter 2

On Saturday, my dad asked me to go home for dinner.

He said, “Don’t keep staying out, pretending to be a wild child without parents. Come home.”

I had wanted to reject him, but the two words ‘come home’ were like a hook that tugged at my heart strings, and I winced at the slight pain I felt.

It took me three hours on the road.

When I arrived home, Victoria was setting up her phone on a tripod.

There were makeup products, perfume, hair clips, and an entire row of unopened parcels on the table.

When she saw me, she scanned me from head to toe.

“Jessica, are you sure this jacket can still be worn?”

Vince was curled up on the couch gaming and didn’t even look up when I arrived.

“What do you know? That’s vintage fashion.”

Veronica burst out laughing.

“So vintage that even the color’s fading?”

I placed the tray of eggs in a corner.

Grandma had it prepared early this morning.

She washed every single egg clean and stuffed them in some hay, saying, “Bring these to your dad and his family. You can’t buy such great eggs in the city.”

Aunt Jensen walked out of the kitchen and glanced at the eggs in the corner.

“Oh, more eggs again? We really don’t have space at home for more.”

My fingers trembled slightly.

I suddenly found those eggs pitiful.

Just like me, they had been stuffed into a home that didn’t welcome them.

On the dining table, my third aunt, Aunt Leah, asked, “Jessica, do you have enough to spend at school? Don’t be too stingy with yourself. You should be eating more if you can.”

I was about to say what I had was sufficient when my dad put his spoon down.

“She’s not stingy with herself. She doesn’t know how to spend money well.”

He pulled his phone out and retrieved my cost breakdown.

“Let me show you how much children can spend nowadays.”

Veronica’s eyes lit up, and she secretly turned her camera to face me.

I saw it but couldn’t stop her in time.

My dad started reciting the line items in the spreadsheet.

“13 October, coffee, $2.

“7 October, printing materials, $10.

“12 October, painkillers, $9.80.

“15 October, sanitary pads, $19.90. On the higher side.”

The entire table fell silent.

The look on Leah’s face changed, and her spoon was hanging in midair.

I sat there, my face feeling like it was on fire.

My dad didn’t notice anything, or rather, he didn’t think anything of it.

He said to me with his brows furrowed, “I just don’t understand. There’s food provided at the dining hall at school. How could you be in so much pain that you needed painkillers? Have you been eating rubbish?”

Veronica burst out laughing.

“Dad, don’t ask such specific questions. You’ll only embarrass Jessica.”

Vince then chimed in, “She dared to enter that in her spreadsheet. Why would she be scared of someone reading it out?”

I looked at my dad and said in a very soft voice, “Dad, must I prove the purchase of sanitary pads?”

He paused for a moment before his face darkened with displeasure.

“Jessica Larson, don’t you blow things out of proportion in front of our relatives.

“I’m keeping a close watch on you because I’m worried about you being led astray.

“I’m not so worried about your sister because she grew up with me, and I know she has her limits.

“You’re different. You grew up in the town, and there are many things you weren’t taught. I have no choice but to keep a closer watch over you.”

I felt something heavy strike my chest.

He had been absent from my life for over ten years.

Yet now, he was using those ten years to prove that I was inferior to them.

Leah couldn’t help but speak up. “Jake, it’s not her fault she didn’t grow up by your side.”

My dad put his spoon down heavily, feeling embarrassed.

“All of you think I’m treating her harshly just because of one thing I say to her.

“Fine. I’ll wash my hands off her from now on and let her get led astray by bad influence.”

I didn’t say anything more.

After dinner, Vince said that he wanted to buy his girlfriend a birthday present, and my dad transferred him $500 on the spot.

“Don’t let your girlfriend get looked down upon.”

Veronica then hugged his arm and said coquettishly, “Dad, I need more lenses for my camera.”

My dad caressed her head with an affectionate smile on his face and replied, “Go ahead and get more. It’s good for a girl to have hobbies. That’s better than studying all day.”

I stood at the kitchen door, looking at my phone screen displaying all my requests that were rejected.

Learning materials, $146.

Review comments: [Not urgent. We’ll see about it again next month.]

I didn’t cry this time.

I had just seen things clearer.

He wasn’t worried about me spending money.

He was scared that I’d be like them—loved boldly and unapologetically.