Chapter 4

In November, the school asked for payment of professional practicum fees.

It was a total of $860.

The student counselor, Lily Maddon, said in the group chat that it was a compulsory course. Failure to make payment would result in exclusion from the internship student list and affect credits.

I forwarded the notice, payment link, and the document with the school’s official stamp to my dad.

He texted back: [Pending approval.]

I waited for one day.

And then two days.

On the third night, the class committee member texted me privately.

[Jessica, the system will shut down tomorrow at ten in the morning. You’re the only one left.]

I called my dad, but the call went unanswered.

At my second attempt, Veronica answered the call.

The background music was deafening.

“Jessica, Dad is celebrating my birthday. What’s the matter now?”

I looked at the time.

It was forty minutes past nine.

My throat felt constricted as I said, “Ask Dad to come to the phone. The deadline for payment of my professional practicum fees is coming.”

Veronica drawled, “Is this about money again?

“Jessica, you always seem to be chasing a debt each time you call.”

Vince’s laughter roared from the other end of the line.

“She’s best at writing requests for approval, isn’t she? Get her to submit the documents and go through the process.”

A while later, my dad finally came to the phone.

“Speak.”

I repeated myself once more.

He only had one thing to say after hearing me out, “Give me your professor’s number.”

“Dad, it’s very late now.”

“So what? If it’s really urgent, wouldn't your professor come to the phone?”

My palms were sweating.

“Can you please transfer me the money first? I’ll send you the receipt once I make the payment.”

He sneered.

“Trying to act first without my approval, aren’t you?

“Jessica Larson, you’re getting better and better at trying to bypass me.”

I was so anxious that I started shaking.

“No, this is a compulsory course.”

Veronica said leisurely, “Jessica, did you spend all your allowance Dad gave you previously?”

Vince chimed in quickly. “Dad, watch out. I heard about some female university students who use money meant to pay school fees to buy makeup products instead, and they even tell the school that their family refuses to give them money.”

My voice was hoarse as I pleaded, “No, that’s not the case.”

My dad said, “Switch on your video. Take a video of your dormitory room, wardrobe, and school bag.”

I was stunned.

The lights along the corridor were piercingly bright.

I leaned against the wall, suddenly feeling like an object displayed on a goods shelf.

My dad could look at anything anytime he wanted.

“Dad, I’m a person, not a warehouse object.”

He fell silent for a second.

At the next moment, his anger flared up.

“What are you scared of if your conscience is clear?

“I pay for your studies, so can’t I take a look at your dormitory?”

Aunt Jensen urged softly, “Jessica, don’t be stubborn. Write a letter of guarantee that you’ll ask for approval for any expense beyond twenty dollars, and that you won’t borrow money from others.”

All warmth left me when I heard her disallow me from borrowing money from others.

The system was about to be shut down.

I borrowed $860 from my roommate and made the payment first.

The moment I sent the screenshot to the class group chat, the class committee member heaved a sigh of relief.

“Received. Jessica has made the payment.”

Ten minutes later, Lily texted me.

[Jessica, please see me at my office.]

When I arrived at her office, there were another two professors there as well.

Lily looked at me with mixed emotions in her eyes.

“Your dad called just now, saying that you borrowed money from others without his permission.”

I stood rooted to the ground, my face burning with embarrassment.

She put the call on speakerphone, and I heard my dad’s voice from the other end of the line.

“Ma’am, it’s not that I don’t want to give her the money. She’s a scheming one, you see.

“I told her to go through the process, but she had to borrow money from someone else.

“The school cannot condone such behavior.

“If she has really made payment, please persuade her to withdraw from the class.”

I felt a dull ache in my chest.

Lily said with furrowed brows, “Mr. Larson, this is a compulsory course.”

My dad immediately said, “What’s the point in a lady learning this? Isn’t it better to just find a stable job?

“What’s more, if she dares to apply for a student loan, that’s akin to letting the entire school know that I can’t afford to raise her!

“She might be shameless, but I’m not.”

The tension in the office was palpable, and I even saw one of the professors look away, but my dad was still going on.

“Jessica Larson, do you hear me? Withdraw from the course, and I can still take care of you.

“If you dare to make the decision on your own, don’t you dare come to me asking for a single cent.”

I suddenly stopped trembling as I stood there.

It was strange.

As it turned out, having your hopes dashed somehow didn’t feel like the world crashing down.

It was the sudden realization that this was as painful as it could get.

I said to him through the phone, “That won’t happen in the future. From now on, I won’t be asking you for any more money.”

I hung up.

I then navigated to my call records where the first emergency contact was my dad, clicked into it, and deleted his contact.

I then created a new contact under the name Jake Larson.

He was just another ordinary contact in my phone.

I then bowed at Lily.

“Ma’am, I would like to apply for a student loan. I’d also like to ask if the school offers financial aid for needy students?”

I paused for a moment before going on, “In the future, if the school would like to contact me, please just call my number.”

The wind outside rustled the leaves on the tree.

I felt something heavy fall off my shoulders, which had been sitting there for a long while.

I didn’t turn back to pick it up.