Chapter 7

I ran out of there so fast, I could feel my heart pound in my ears and my lungs burned from the exertion. I was mortified. If I was avoiding Ethan before like the plague, now I was seriously contemplating resigning from work and moving to a different state. I couldn’t even imaging going into work tomorrow and bumping into him.

Of all the people who could walk in on me in the dance practice room it had to be Ethan Reed. Surely, this must be some kind of a joke. If the universe is playing tricks, please let it be known I'm done playing. 

I only stop running when I made it out of the building. The oncoming traffic of pedestrians walking on the sidewalk made it impossible to keep running. Still breathing heavily, I raise my hand high up in hopes of hailing a cab quickly. I normally take the bus or the subway but I need a quick and effective exit in case Ethan decides to follow me out into the street. I don't dare look back until I was safe behind the doors of my apartment and the lock bolted into place.

I try to calm my breathing down as I press my forehead against the wooden door. One. Two. Three. Four.

I count slowly to ten until I start to feel my heartbeat return to its normal pace. I place my hand over my heart to check and slowly, it returns to beat that was manageable.

“What the fuck just happened?!” I whisper-yell into the door, trying to gasp in as much air as I can. I still feel tingly from what transpired between me and Ethan. I still feel how his eyes bored into mine; that sexy smirk of his planted firmly on his face, playful and teasing. Was that real or did I make it all up?

No matter how I question myself, my abnormal heartrate is evidence enough of what happened. I force myself to keep my eyes open because each time they flutter close, the image of Ethan’s figure—sweaty from his dancing—pops into my head.

I could still see Ethan’s body swaying and grooving to my music. I could still remember in great detail how he grinded on the floor as if he was fucking someone on it. It was so sexy how he oozed of confidence and sex; how it felt like he was eye-fucking me the whole time.

And the best and worst part of this, is that it would stay with me till the day I draw my dying breath. You don’t forget something like this, you just don’t.

Suddenly, as if having a mind of its own I feel my right hand making its way down between my thighs; rubbing over the material of my jeans.

I physically slap my own had away, and mentally slap myself for having such indecent thoughts and actions.

“Stop it Keira! You work for him! He’s kind of like your boss!” slapping my cheek once, then twice, “Get your head out of your ass!”

With my cheek stinging from my own slaps, I slump myself over the bed, grateful that my roommate is out. The embarrassment I faced today is enough to last me at least a few years.

I close my eyes again, trying to rid myself of any more ideas but I just can’t get Ethan Reed out of my mind. Sweaty from running I decide on a shower. Maybe that would clear my head of Ethan.

“That’s right, I just need a bath.”

Grabbing all of my essentials, I head for the bathroom. I need to wash away all of sins for today.

Under the warm water of the shower, I feel myself relax. Before getting in, I lit a candle, and now its sweet relaxing scent wafted around the closed room.

I clean myself thoroughly. Lathering the shampoo and massaging it over my hair and scalp. This is nice. I thought to myself, making a mental note to do this more of often. With my eyes closed, I let the warm water cascade down my body, washing away the soap, leaving my body fresh and clean.

With my eyes closed, once again my thoughts wander to Ethan Reed. I remember how his eyes stared into mind as he moved effortlessly graceful across the dance floor. He truly is sex incarnate and it makes me wonder if his skills in dancing translated to his moves in the bedroom too.

Now that I’m feeling relaxed and in a better head space, when my hand traveled down my navel and between my legs, I don’t stop it.

Sure enough, my thoughts about Ethan made me wet. My mouth opens involuntarily in a gasp when I inserted a finger inside easily.

Fuck. What the hell am I doing?

Masturbating to the thought of Ethan Reed, that’s what. It’s insane what I’m doing. Never in my life have I pictured myself to be in this situation. Wait, that’s a lie. Of course, I had thought about it, but never did I think that I would actually do it.

Slowly, I insert another finger inside me. Having been single for a while now, and being focused on work, one could say that I lack practice.

I don’t fight the moans of pleasure that escape my lips. Using my free hand, I reach up to cup my breast. Gently squeezing and massaging them. In a few moments, my nipples are pert and hard. I roll them in between my fingers and I feel the pleasure intensify. I picture Ethan in my head. I picture his sexy smirk and his angelic voice.

More like his devilish voice. My brain interrupts. 

A fact I acknowledge. Ethan's nickname shouldn't be angel, he reminds me more of a devil. A devil coaxing me into his darkness, and I'm allowing it.

I imagine it's Ethan's hands all over my body and not mine. I graze my hand on my clit and moaned loudly at how good it felt. Gently, I palm my pussy and clit. The pleasure intensifies as I speed up my movements.

“You like that?”

My eyes shoot open. "Ethan?" I gasp his name, the hand between my legs not slowing its movements. I heard Ethan’s voice. I can’t believe my imagination is this wild. I'm actually hearing Ethan's voice in my head clearly as if he'd spoken beside me. As if he were in the room with me. As if he were touching me.

Taking advantage of my new-found skill, I imagine what other dirty things might Ethan say to me; what other dirty things Ethan might do to me.

I picture him behind me, his hands over mine; guiding me on how I should touch myself.

“Do you do this often, Keira?”

“Fuck.” Hearing my name off of his lips, even in my imagination does things to me that I can’t explain. “Fuck, Ethan!”

I increase the speed of my fingers, now three inside me. Reaching deeper and deeper, rubbing my nipples harder.

“That’s it, Keira.” Ethan mutters. “Just like that. There’s my good girl.”

That did it. The praises send me over the edge. “Shit!” the orgasm took me by surprise and it was a strong one.

It takes me a full five minutes to regain any semblance of where I am or what I was doing. In the shower, masturbating to my crush. My brain answers for me.

I quickly wash off and get dressed. That was enough weirdness for today. I don't want to dwell on it, there’s always tomorrow to think about how I’m going to act around Ethan now that I’ve defiled him in my head. But I can't deal with it now. I’m too tired and the bed feels like it beckoning me to lie down and slip into slumber.

So I do just that.