chapter 4

Elsa's pov

"Hy boss," I said to him with a nervous smile. His gentle touch on my shoulders made me happy yet nervous through hell. I back off from his hold.

He smiled at me and took two steps back, tucking his hands in his pants pocket. He looked at me with a stern look and cross his arms  to his chest and asked 

"Why are you running like that?" 

I came from my dreamy life and looked here and there and said to him without looking at him 

"Ron snatched my tiffin box and ran. And I ran after him to catch him. And then I collide with you...." 

"So you brought something delicious that's why he ran with the box" he said lightly laughing.

I hide my face looking at the ground. I feel his gaze on me. It makes me feel something every time I try to  look into his eyes but I was never able to look in his eyes.

"Hmmm, it's indeed delicious" I looked up hearing Ron's voice. He stood there placing one elbow on Zian's shoulder and held tiffin in the other hand, chewing food happily.

"You...stop there.. you monkey" I said irritatingly and he stopped chewing his food.

He took tiffin in front of Zian and said innocently "you should try these. Our Elsa is the best cook" 

I looked hesitated and Zian looked at me and said 

"You enjoy your food I am going to grab some coffee" 

Ron said ok and shrugged his shoulders and went there where we sat. 

When I turn to go after him, Zian stopped me by saying 

"Do you want some coffee?" I looked at him confused and he rubbed the back of his neck and said " I mean if you are free can we grab some coffee"? 

He looked at me innocently. I wanted to go. We both know we have some feelings for eachother but my life conditions doesn't allow me to fall for anyone. I wanted to protect him so I have to neglect his feelings and repress mine too.

"Thanks for asking but  no,  some  other time. You continue with your friends" I said to him and his smile fell but he composed and nodded and bid me bye and left. 

I looked at his retreating figure and then I came back where we sat in the garden. 

My three best friends looked at me with hopeful eyes. I looked at them and sat beside them with a huff.

"Why don't you both accept your feelings?" Sam asked me with concern. They know I like him too but something was there which stopped me.

"Is this so obvious?" I asked them 

"Obviously it's written on both of your faces. Even blind person can tell you that you like each other" Lily said with an obvious look.

I looked at the ground and playing with grass and said in slow voice 

"No it's not like that I'm just his junior that's all" 

But in reality I know the reason behind it. Why  I'm not accepting the fact that he likes me. It is looked in his eyes, his emotions, his care and love for me but  I'm not for love. Love is prohibited in my life. I'm hard to love and importantly my past doesn't give me permission to be loved by someone. My dark traumatic life will only produce problems  in his life and I don't want to hurt him. He is so pure for that dark world of mine so it's better that I hide my feelings so I save him from hurting.

"We are with you Elsa, with your every decision but please don't neglect your feelings" Lily said to me and held my hand. I looked at them and I know they are  always with me. I gave them a smile and snatched the tiffin back from Ron and ate it while laughing and teasing each other. They are my comfort zone. It will be those moments when I laugh wholeheartedly without any worry.

"Elsa what happened to your arm. These marks.....?" Sam asked me concerning about me to seeing the nail marks  printed by sis-in-law.

"It's nothing. I accidentally scratched hard" I said, trying to convince them but they looked at me with "Stop your nonsense" face.

I tried to avoid their question as I know if I will tell them, they again told me to live with any of them or my sister. And  I really don't want to disturb their life.

As we entered our class, our classmate Kim  came and stood in front of us with her friends. She's our classmate but I don't know why she had a rivalry with me. She always tried to make me feel less from them. Her hatred towards me is clearly visible.

"Hello guys" Kim said to us in her bitchy tone,  we just smile littlebit. Clearly not shown any interest.

"So Elsa, how's your plan going to trap our handsome and rich senior Zian?" She asked, crossing her hands in front of her chest with a smirk.

That's the only reason we hate her. She only speaks to us or mainly taunts us. This is my personal life and who is she to talk to me like that. I wanted to tell her a good speech but I control it and said 

"Just like you tried to pull him over you" 

My three best friends gave me a good smile and tried to control their laugh on my sarcasm.

It's who I am. When they tried to invade my personal space I gave them a good push.

As our college ended, I walked to the Cafe where I work as a waitress. This job gave me enough money so I paid for my expenses and I also  have to give some money to my brother.  Yes I gave them as rent. 

After my working hours I'm so tired but I need to prepare dinner after reaching home. I walked to a nearby bus stand which is a ten minute walking distance. When I waited there June called me like always she's my backbone. She and Nike brother both treat me like their own child. 

After  I reached home and made dinner for everyone happily because I had no encounter with Ryder bro and Hanna. I ate food alone and came to my room, changed into a night suit and studied.