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Chapter 46 Lost in my own chaos

Author: Daisy
last update Last Updated: 2025-10-24 01:37:23

Tamara.

I drag myself out of bed, reaching for my phone.

I had turned it off last night.

It's just a habit I picked up recently. If Killian pisses me off, I power my phone off, sleep it out, then return calls when I'm very much levelheaded.

I power it on, looking at the booting signs.

And just then, everything I said to Killian last night came flooding back into my memory.

I was boiling rage, threatening to pull my mom out of the hospital.

The thing is, it wasn't just mere words last night. I meant it.

Without a second thought, I pull my phone back up, my hand slightly trembling as it lingered on the screen, then I dialed it.

Dr. Richard.

My mother's specialist.

It rings, once, twice. He picks up at the third ring.

“Mrs Ravenford,” he greets me. “Is there a problem?”

“Not exactly,” I breathed out. Pausing, to keep my voice steady before continuing. “Actually, I’m seeking a transfer, to another hospital, might be out of the city, just thought to let you know,” even as I say this it fel
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  • Divorce? Never Letting Go!   Chapter 57 Silent spree

    Tamara.Killian pulls himself into my path, close enough that I can feel the heat off his skin.My breath stumbles.I can even barely breathe.I stare at him and I almost want to side step him and walk away but I don't.My eyes lingered, half furious, half intrigued, if that makes sense.It stayed there, dropping to his slightly unbottoned shirt.God.I shouldn't be thinking about how close we are, how good it'd feel to touch his abs, or how warm his mouth will be if I bridge the gap. I should be thinking about the fact that he's blocking my path, refusing to move.I blink away, cursing inwardly and then I regained myself and snap my eyes back at him.He's still in my way.“Step aside, Killian.” I hissed, eyeing him.He doesn't move, not even an inch.“I can't do that, Tamara.” He says, eyes on me. “I can't keep up with this unsettling silence.”I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “Why?” I ask. “As long as I can remember we haven't been talking, so why can't you keep up with it now?”Si

  • Divorce? Never Letting Go!   Chapter 56 Risking it

    Killian.Tamara has been doing a clean job avoiding me, her timing is the most perfect I'd ever witnessed, she's always out or in her room whenever I'm around.It's almost like she's invincible, except that most times I hear her converse with people on the phone, and her screeching tires whenever she's driving out.I so much want to put an end to this no talking–spree but I can't.It's hard but I have to live off it.Seb says to give her time.Damon thinks she's shielding herself. But from what exactly?I don't even bite.But my friends clearly thinks otherwise.When I told them what went down, they just went dead still.“Well, aren't you both going to say something?” I had asked, my eyes scanning them.Damon sets his glass down. “What do you expect us to say, Killian?” He mused. “It was bound to happen, you live in a house with a beautiful woman who you're very much into, all that argument will be settled on a bed,”“Fuck you, Damon,”Sebastian laughs, the kind that has no filter. “G

  • Divorce? Never Letting Go!   Chapter 55 Half lie, half truth

    Tamara.By some miracle, I make it to the weekend without locking horns with Killian.The weird part is, I haven't seen Chloe all week.It's so unlike her to not want to be in my face, trying to stake her claim.And not just that— it's been one hell of a silent week, agonizing silence, both at home and at work.Alex is mercifully avoiding me, that day after I left his house, he called all through, dead set at blowing up my phone.I didn't answer a single one.Somehow he realized I wasn't going to pick up and stopped calling.It's — it's not like I don't want to talk to him but I was just having a hard time processing everything.I start to understand the looks I got at work, the murmurs, the not-so discreet whispers, even my position in the company being vacant all these years.It starts to make much sense.I know I'm good at what I do but I find myself questioning the reason why Alex gave me my job back in the first place. Was it because I truly deserved it by hardwork or…?God, my t

  • Divorce? Never Letting Go!   Chapter 54 Doesn't change a damn thing

    Tamara.I don't even have the mental bandwidth to process that fully.Alex and I — we've been friends for like, five years? Maybe more.I met him once, and again at an interview in his company.He offered me this fancy– ass job, said it surprises him that I was still job hunting with my perfect degree.We started off there, he made me laugh a lot, he— he was always there, through my loud time, my quiet time.And that day at a meeting, when he stood up for me against a board member, who said I'm unfit for my promotion because I'm a woman and can't handle certain tasks.Alex shut him down without blinking an eyelid.That very moment— I knew I had found a brother, one nature didn't give me.I— I never knew he liked me more than a friend until now.It starts to make sense, the times he'd fight and break up with Delilah over little things. The day he casually asked what I wanted in a man and I told him.He dressed up like one the next day, I teased him about it, laughed it off. I never rea

  • Divorce? Never Letting Go!   Chapter 53 One moment of wreck

    Tamara.Technically, I'm avoiding Killian, my husband, who I happen to live under the same roof with — which is the most logical thing to do right now.He wanted us to talk about it, I don't. Of what use is it anyway?We're adults, shit happens, and that's it.I tell myself this, but deep down I know it'd be one hell of a hectic job avoiding Killian.But I threatened him— I just had to, if I didn't, he wouldn't leave it be, I know him.I hope that keeps him grounded.I dialed Alex's number for the third time, it rings, no answer.This makes me worry. I can't remember a single time Alex missed a call, if it does happen, he calls right back.Last night Killian had punched him hard– could he be hurt?I try to shake off that disturbing thought, stepping out of my car and heading into the main building.I made a quick stop at his office but he isn't in yet.Again, I push that nagging thought aside and carried on with work.After noon, he still didn't come in. And he's still not answering m

  • Divorce? Never Letting Go!   Chapter 52 Wallowing in distraught

    Killian.I try to focus, to listen as my secretary reads out my schedule on her tablet.I can hardly hear her.My mind's elsewhere.Tamara.Her words had crawled it's way into my head, echoing, louder than it should.She said it meant nothing, that last night was a mistake.I tried to wave it off, to put it down to— she's angry, embarrassed but no, she meant it, her tone is firm, firmer than it has ever been.It stabs right into my chest.My chest tightens, stirring something familiar in me. Something tight and uncomfortable that nestles just beneath my ribs.Hurt.Yes, I'm hurt, terribly hurt.She terms it a mistake, like it meant nothing, but I don't see it that way. I can't even move past last night, it keeps replaying in my head, every moan, every scream, the way her body reacts to my touch, her nails down my back, my hands in her soft hair.I– I memorized every aspect of last night. But somehow I knew she'd crash out, and that's all the more reason why I left before she wakes up.

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