The drive to the prison was the longest forty-five minutes of my life. Sam sat in the backseat, unusually quiet, staring out the window at the passing farmland. Maya was with Janet for the day."You okay back there?" Thomas asked, catching Sam's eyes in the rearview mirror."Yeah. Just thinking.""About what?""About what I'm going to say to him."I turned around to look at Sam. "You don't have to say anything specific. Just be yourself.""What if he's different? What if he's not?""Then we'll figure it out as we go."The prison looked exactly like what it was—a collection of concrete buildings surrounded by razor wire and guard towers. As we pulled into the visitor parking lot, I felt my stomach clench."This is happening," I said quietly.Thomas reached over and squeezed my hand. "We can still turn around.""No," Sam said from the backseat. "I want to do this."The check-in process was more complicated than I'd expected. We had to fill out forms, go through metal detectors, and subm
Maya was three weeks old when the letter arrived.I was sitting on the couch, trying to get her to latch properly for what felt like the hundredth time that day, when Thomas walked in from getting the mail. His face was grim as he sorted through the stack of envelopes."What's wrong?" I asked.He held up a white envelope with familiar handwriting in the return address corner. "It's from Alex."My blood went cold. "What does he want?""I don't know. It's addressed to you."I stared at the letter like it was a snake that might bite me. "I don't want to read it.""You don't have to.""But what if it's important?"Thomas sat down beside me, careful not to jostle Maya. "Do you want me to read it first?"I nodded, handing Maya to him and taking the envelope with shaking hands. The return address showed the state correctional facility where Alex was serving his sentence. I hadn't heard from him since before Maya was born, and I'd been grateful for the silence.I tore open the envelope and un
"Are you sure the car seat is installed correctly?" I asked for the third time as Thomas loaded our bags into the trunk."I'm sure. Janet checked it twice.""But what if—""Daniela." Thomas closed the trunk and walked around to where I was standing on the sidewalk, holding Maya against my chest like she might disappear if I let go. "She's going to be fine.""I know. I just..." I looked down at Maya, who was sleeping peacefully in her going-home outfit—a tiny pink dress that was still too big for her. "What if I drop her? What if I don't know when she's hungry? What if—""Hey." Thomas put his hands on my shoulders. "You're not going to drop her. And you'll figure out the rest as you go. We both will."Sam bounced on his toes beside us. "Can we go home now? I want to show Maya her room."The drive home felt like it took forever, even though it was only fifteen minutes. I sat in the back next to Maya's car seat, watching her sleep and jumping every time she made the tiniest sound."Is sh
The next contraction hit like a freight train."Push, Daniela," Dr. James said. "Big push."I bore down with everything I had, squeezing Thomas's and Sam's hands so hard I was sure I'd leave bruises. The pressure was incredible like my body was trying to turn itself inside out."I can see the head," Dr. James announced. "One more like that.""You're doing so good," Thomas said, his voice tight with emotion. "So good, baby."Sam stared at the foot of the bed with wide eyes. "Can I see the baby?""The top of the head," the nurse said gently. "Your little brother or sister is almost here."Another contraction built, and I pushed again, feeling like I was splitting in two. There was a sudden release of pressure, and Dr. James's voice cut through my exhaustion."Shoulders are out. One more small push for the body."I barely had to push. The baby slipped out in a rush of fluid and relief, and suddenly the room was filled with the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard—a strong, angry cry."It'
I was cutting Sam's chicken when my water broke.We were having dinner at the kitchen table—nothing fancy, just baked chicken and mashed potatoes—and I was telling Sam to eat his vegetables when I felt a sudden warm gush between my legs."Oh," I said, looking down at the puddle forming on the chair beneath me.Thomas looked up from his plate. "What's wrong?""I think..." I stood up carefully, feeling more fluid trickling down my legs. "I think my water just broke."Sam's fork clattered to his plate. "Right now?""Right now."Thomas was on his feet immediately, his chair scraping against the floor. "Are you having contractions?""I don't think so. Not yet." I gripped the back of my chair as another gush of fluid confirmed what I already knew. "But this is it.""Okay. Okay." Thomas ran his hands through his hair, and I could see him switching into crisis mode. "Hospital bag?""By the front door.""Car seat?""Already installed.""Sam—""I'm coming with you," Sam said firmly, pushing bac
At thirty-four weeks, Dr. James finally cleared me to spend more time out of bed."Your cervix has stabilized," she said, studying my chart. "And the baby's growth is excellent. I think we can ease up on the restrictions."Thomas, who had been holding his breath through the entire appointment, finally exhaled. "So she can go back to normal activities?""Modified normal. No heavy lifting, no long walks, but she can move around the house, go up and down stairs, even make short trips if needed."I wanted to cry with relief. Three months of bed rest had felt like a prison sentence, and the idea that I could participate in getting ready for this baby felt like a miracle."Does this mean I can finish the nursery?" I asked.Dr. James smiled. "As long as you're not painting or moving furniture, I don't see why not."That afternoon, I stood in the doorway of what would be our baby's room, really looking at it for the first time since Thomas had painted it. He'd done an amazing job, but it stil