The New Job

After a week-long break, I enter my new office with renewed energy. It feels like 3 months ago when I started at Magna Corp, only better because I would be meeting with Tony at the end of the work day to debrief. (He quite literally entered it into our shared calendar as Debrief).

I'm more nervous than I should be because of my stupid dream, but I'm a professional, so I suck it up and put on a brave face.

At reception, I am handed a badge and told to proceed to the top floor. The reception at the top floor then directs me to a corner office. I'm starting to get curious about who I'll be working for. I assumed that Mr. Conti was saving me from Mr. Finch and they might not actually have an open position for me, especially for an executive.

I enter an office with two desks with a similar set-up to my last workplace, only this place is bigger and more modern, which I prefer. There is a door at the opposite end to the room that I assume leads to our boss's office. The best part, though, is that we have our own little break room and private bathroom!

"This is Jessica," the receptionist explains, "She is the first assistant and you will answer to her. I'm Claire if you need anything else."

Claire leaves and I turn to Jessica and reach out to shake her hand, "I'm Alexa, it's nice to meet you."

She looks at my hand with disdain, then walks around me and says, "Follow me."

She takes me on a light-speed tour of the office where I do my very best to keep track of every name and direction she gives me. Once back in our office, she gives me a brief overview of what my duties will be and, had I not been an executive assistant previously, I would have been lost.

I spend the first couple hours of the day tracking down the IT guys to get access to all the systems. Marty, the IT guy, is super sweet and wishes me luck with Jessica, "I'm scared of the girl, everyone is. She sucks, but for some reason she doesn't get fired. Stay on her good side, if she has one."

When I return to my desk, around 10am, with my access all sorted, the door to Mr. Conti's office is open and I can see he is in deep concentration at his desk. Just as I'm about to sit, I hear him yell out, "Coffee!"

Jessica had listed that as part of my duties, so I look to her and ask, "How does he like his coffee?"

"Your first task and you're already asking questions," she shakes her head at me like I'm pathetic, then returns her attention to her work.

While I have no clue how Mr. Conti takes his coffee, I am thrilled to get to use the fancy coffee maker in our private break room. Judging by Mr. Conti's intense demeanor and manliness, I decide to keep it simple and go with a black coffee.

I check to make sure he isn't on a call, then enter the office and place the coffee on the coaster on his desk.

"How is your first day so far?" He asks, surprising me. I assumed there would be no chit-chat.

"It's been great so far," I say, "I have access to everything and I love the coffee machine."

He takes a look at his coffee and asks, "Black?"

"Yes," I respond, "but I can grab milk or sugar if you need."

"No, this will be fine. Thank you." He doesn't look back up after that, so I take it as my cue to leave.

I head back to my desk and intend to start on the list of morning tasks I'm supposed to be doing when Jessica looks at me with a saccharine smile and says, "Don't worry if he didn't like the coffee. It's hard to get it right the first time."

I nod, not bothering to tell her he accepted the coffee. I don't know her well enough to understand her intention in saying that comment, but I know it isn't kind. I assume I can now check black coffee off of the list of coffees that Mr. Conti likes. I'm watching and he hasn't taken a single sip. I'll have to try something different tomorrow. I wonder why he didn't just tell me he didn't like black coffee. Maybe he was trying to be nice on my first day.

Jessica stays until Mr. Conti leaves. She had been ready to leave for an hour, scrolling through social media on her phone. When Mr. Conti came out of his office she pretended to stand up like she just happened to be leaving at the same time.

I can't help the huge smile that breaks across my face. Her desperation is flowing off her in waves and you can tell Mr. Conti is annoyed. I quickly look down towards my work so that Jessica won't see my smile. After just one day, it's already pretty evident what kind of person Jessica is. 

After that first day, Jessica continues to be a huge problem. Her only goal at work is to become Mrs. Conti, which means she expects me to do the work of two people. What's even worse is that, when Mr. Conti does a morning brief with her to go over his schedule she spends the whole time trying to flirt and writes nothing down. It's always a huge guessing game trying to figure out what we're supposed to be doing.

I've been here about a month now and I've learned to read Jessica's moods. Today, she's smiling, so Mr. Conti has an event he needs to attend and he doesn't have a date. He never has a date. Somehow, every time, Jessica talks herself into thinking that Mr. Conti will ask her to accompany him. She spends all week with her head in the clouds, finding the perfect dress. She is sometimes able to get a ticket to the event and she'll come back on Monday talking all about how they connected at the event.

Once she sits down, I walk over to her desk with a notepad ready to get as much information as I can so I can piece together the rest.

"Hey, Jessica, what are we doing this week?" I ask.

"Oh, you know, the usual," she says, still daydreaming.

"Jessica, you need to write notes," I respond, exasperated. "We've gone over this. That is not enough to work with. Please tell me anything you can remember. I'm assuming he has an event this week?"

"Yes," she says excitedly. "The annual Leukemia Foundation Gala."

I nod, making a note. I'll look up the event but I'm assuming it's black tie, so I note down that his suit needs dry cleaning.

"He also mentioned making copies of a report," she says, almost like a question. It's the Bransen report. The whole office has been working on it for two weeks, making sure it was ready on time.

"Something about the jet," she says, and I can tell I'll be losing her attention soon. "Oh! And some French people are coming."

That's all I get before she leaves to go make a personal call. I check the schedule to see how many people will be attending the Bransen meeting and make a few extra copies. I also noticed the meeting runs through lunch, so I arrange lunch through our normal caterer.

The jet is a pretty easy issue as well. We have a company that charters the jet when it's not in use. I check the schedule with them and see that the 'French people' Jessica mentioned are flying in on Mr. Conti's jet and the arrangements need to be made and sent to their assistant.

Jessica returns hours later with Mr. Conti's lunch. She disappears all the time, but she never misses an opportunity to interact with Mr. Conti. The only time I've entered Mr. Conti's office was when he wasn't there. The only interaction I've had with him was when I brought the coffee to him on the first day. I still make his coffee, of course, because Jessica seems to be allergic to work. She gave me his coffee order the second day and made a threat about how it had better be perfect so as not to embarrass her.

I'm able to get the contact information for the French clients coming in next week from Claire. I spend the week coordinating with their assistant. Mr. and Mrs. Losange will be visiting Ombra for the first time and staying for a week. Jessica took over making an itinerary for Mrs. Losange, who is not involved in the business. She's treating this like she is Mr. Conti's wife and she will be entertaining the wife of a business partner. It never gets old watching her level of delusion, but at least she helped for once.

By the end of the week I'm exhausted, but I know I will have the whole weekend free since Mr. Conti will be visiting family on the weekend.

Jessica did manage to get tickets to the gala and spent all night posting to I*******m, but I have a good laugh when I get an email from the dry cleaners notifying me that the suit was never picked up, meaning Mr. Conti didn't attend the event in the end. I guess I shouldn't keep saying that Jessica has no work ethic. She is amazingly persistent when there is something she wants.

After a relaxing weekend, I wake up early on Monday to get ready for work. I get to work extra early so that I can make sure all last-second preparations are made. I communicate with the airport to confirm when they land and I talk to the hotel to make sure they get the right room. Everything in the office is ready for their arrival as well.

Mr. Conti arrives before Jessica and I notice him looking at her desk in displeasure.

He looks at me and asks, "Are we all set?"

"Yes," I respond with confidence, "They've landed and will arrive here in an hour. Caterers will be here in 45 minutes to set up breakfast and Mrs. Losange will be able to check in as early as she wants. Her room is already available."

He nods. Then continues into his office.

Jessica arrives 30 minutes later and I immediately know why she was late. She is dressed impeccably well but a bit over the top for the office, and I am almost positive she had a hair appointment this morning. She spends all her time cleaning her area. She refuses to help set up the food because she doesn't want to mess up her clothes or smell like food. She's being so vocal about how important it is for her to make a good impression, so when she stays in the office while I set up the conference room, I'm relieved.

By 10am I'm back at my desk and ready to greet the Losange's. I have no idea that, despite all my efforts, Jessica would still manage to mess it up.