By the time the ugly, beaten-up cars that crowded the pretty little street began to pull away, and Owen knocked on her front door, she had ordered pizza, opened a bottle of wine, and had two lists lined up on the coffee table. “Wow,” he said, shrugging out of the leather jacket as he entered. “We could use your skills for the band.” “Shall we start at the top?” She was curt as she took her seat, pressing herself tightly against the arm of the couch, her knees tight and her ankle bones digging into each other, physically holding herself together as if doing so would hold her emotionally intact. “Sure,” he said warily, sitting on the couch next to her, sitting close not out of desire for proximity but because it was practical in order to go through the lists with her, she knew. “You seem… mad.” “Mad?” She repeated. “Why would I be mad? I have just spent twenty-two years of my life believing I loved someone and was loved back, only to find out that it was a lie, and now the future we
The doorbell rang and they both jumped, looking automatically towards the hall, guilty as teenagers caught making out on the couch by parents coming home unexpectedly. “Shit, the pizza,” he realised the source of the doorbell first, his laughter shifting as he lifted from her and closed his jeans. He paused a moment, looking down at her, his eyes smouldering. “You look f-king sexy like that Emily,” he commented, and she flushed, pleased despite the offhanded crudity of the comment. He went to answer the door, and she sat up, waiting until the door closed again and pulling her clothing as much to order as she could with her underwear and skirt in rags, feeling exposed and vulnerable, and sluttish. Owen, fully dressed and looking nothing like he had just f-ked her stupid on the couch, joked with the pizza delivery man, as he accepted the pizzas and bid him to have a good night, before using his elbow and hip to close the door. “I will be just a moment,” she told him from the couch.
Emily took the pizzas out to the garbage bin and threw them away, and then returned to the lounge room and drank the rest of the wine, before drunkenly falling asleep on the couch. In the morning, nursing a hangover to accompany her broken heart, she called the real estate agent, and put the other house on the market, as Megan had told her to do from the beginning. She was starting to think that she should have followed Megan’s advice. She eyed up her hair speculatively in the reflection of the laptop. Well, maybe not all her advice, she decided. “What the f–k are you doing, Em?” Owen demanded the following evening, catching her as she returned from work and made her way down the garden path, his blue eyes blazing with anger and his cheeks flushed with it as he strode across the lawn. “What do you mean, what am I doing?” She was taken aback by his aggressive approach, snapped out of thoughts of the latest book she was reviewing with surprise. She backed up a step, suddenly wary. Wh
Emily tried to focus on the screen, but the words seemed to slip in and out of her mind without their meaning registering. She had read the same paragraph four times, without being able to recall one word of it, or what the meaning behind the words was. She suspected she was going to need a strong black coffee to get through the afternoon. Maybe two. And it was barely past lunch. But her attention was so divided she might as well give in and go home as she was not going to achieve anything significant like this – except that Emily never gave in and skipped work. It wasn’t in her work ethic to do so. In truth, though she didn’t want to admit it to herself, she had gone home mentally weeks ago, but she kept to the routine of work because staying all day in an empty house echoing with the ghost of Owen was far worse than coming to her office and fighting her way through another meaningful day of drudgery. And every dollar she made now, would be useful for when she quit her job and moved
Emily sat in the car going through the tracks and the music, whilst Owen greeted the band members, and signed in at the door to the studio. They began to unload the van, making treks to and from with a flat-trayed trolley, collecting drums, guitars, amps, and keyboard. Every time she glanced up - they were making another trip. Owen signalled for her to join him during the last trip, and she removed the earpieces, and slung her laptop bag over her shoulder as she left the car, hearing it beep locked behind her as Owen activated the key. “This is Em,” he said to the men as they walked towards the double doors. There were only the four of them, including Owen, which made her wonder what all the extra people who had been coming and going from the house next door were there for. Owen draped his arm over her shoulders as she came to stand behind him, the action both habitual and proprietary. “Hi,” she said, uncertainly. She thought she recognized some of them from the times she had snoop
“I like her. I really like her. The opera is a unique aspect, and she fits your aesthetic better. Okay, shall we run through it again, this time recording?” “Yeah.” Owen released her and moved back to his microphone, picking up his guitar and slipping the strap over his head. Yes, Emily thought watching him, the girls were going to love him. Big, built, blue eyed, dark haired, with a face a poet would love, Owen was made to be leading man material. They ran through the song several times, and then Owen, Emily and Seb stepped out so that James and Jeremy could go through the track with just drums and bass. “Come on,” Owen caught Emily’s hand in his and led her into the control room. It was a narrow space, with a couch pushed against the back wall, and a window looking into the main room. Before the window was set the mixing desk and a chair in which one man sat. Two other men in matching branded t-shirts supervised other equipment, talking between themselves, and adjusting the mach
“It was really good today,” Owen said, thoughtfully, his mind on the band, as was so typical of him. “I think it went really well. I heard a bit of a rough playback, and it sounded really professional, even before they smooth off the edges. I can’t wait to hear the finished product.” “I am glad that you are happy with how it went.” “You saved us,” he smiled at her, his handsome face lighting up with the expression in a way that made her heart pick up a beat. “The guys were really impressed.” “I am glad I could help.” She was speaking by rote, biding her time until she got home and could have the crying jag that she knew was pressing in on her. They would have their Vietnamese take away, sex, and he would leave, and she would cry. She could almost schedule it in by the hour, she thought ruefully. “They want to ditch Cordelia and find a new back-up singer,” Owen said with deliberate casualness. “You wouldn’t be interested?” “Oh, Owen,” she sighed. She wanted to say yes, because it
Emily followed Owen up the stairs and when he paused beside the driver’s seat to take in the layout and chaos before him, she looked around him nervously. It was not a large bus, and it was very full of men, the sight was rather intimidating, although she suspected that Owen had paused in appreciation rather than intimidation. He was living his dream of touring with a rock band, after all. “Isn’t a tour bus a bit… Eighties?” She murmured. Aaron had arranged the tour bus and driver. She had not even known such a service existed, but, as she stepped up into the bus, she could see it was popular – the carpet and upholstery showed a lot of wear and there was a faint smell to it, beneath the shampoo the company had used to clean the fabrics, that was reminiscent of a teenage boy’s bedroom – old gym socks, body odour, and cheap aftershave spray. Towards the front of the bus there was a mini kitchen, very similar to a caravan from the seventies, the veneer on the doors chipped and peeling