Done Being the Spare

While shopping for our wedding jewelry, my fiance, Xavier Shepherd, buys two pieces so that my sister, Abigail Young, can get the first pick, as always. One is a pink diamond necklace that he tracks down across three cities before winning at auction for a fortune. The other is a cheap black brooch that comes free with the necklace. It doesn't even go with my wedding dress. For the first time, I point to the necklace before my sister can. "Can I choose first this time?" Xavier ruffles my hair. "Abigail has always liked being first. If she can't have what she wants, she'd rather have nothing at all," he says. "You're not picky. Whatever's left will do." I say nothing. An empty feeling settles in my chest. I've known Xavier for 20 years. Whenever I'm with him, I'm always the one who gets my sister's leftovers. Whenever he cuts up a watermelon in the summer, he would always serve Abigail the first slice. She would always choose the reddest, seedless piece from the center. Then, he would hand me the slice closest to the rind that's ridden with seeds. "This one's ripe too. It's not as sweet, but it'll do." When he buys a new car, Abigail gets the first pick again. She takes the front passenger seat because it's the least likely to make her carsick. Xavier gestures toward the back. "It's a little cramped back there, but either seat is yours." Later on, I realize that his love is no different. He loves Abigail, but she chooses her academic career and dreams over him. With her gone, he switches sights and confesses to me instead. To him, I have always been the second choice. I stare at the black brooch and push it away. "You can have them both, Abigail. I don't want it either." I'm done settling for her hand-me-downs.