3. Digging My Own Grave

[LIZZY]

Daniel paced the room while I sat on the couch, my head in my hands. He was on the phone. With my entire existence in a whirlwind, I couldn't force myself to focus on a single word he was saying. It was all too much to handle.

My heart was racing so rapidly beneath my chest that I thought it may rip out of my ribs. Leaving me breathless, shattered, and devastated. I knew what was going on inside of me. This was a sensation I was all too familiar with. The man I left behind in Venice was solely responsible for turning me into this frantic blight. Even though he never did anything to hurt me, the fear of abandoning him sowed a seed of fear in my bones that I couldn't escape.

A part of me was trying to convince myself that six years was a long time to be obsessed with someone. even when there was no commitment involved. He never made us truly exclusive. He never even acknowledged me as his girlfriend. So why should I be concerned about what he would do if he found where I was hiding? Why should this matter? Why should he?

Yet the other half of me understood better than to believe whatever the former part of me claimed. I called this part no-nonsense me. This was the part that saved me every time I was on the cusp of making a bad decision. This part had kept me safe for six years. Yet, unfortunately, the instant I let down my guard and listened to my instincts instead, I dug myself a grave.

God, what was I thinking?

I should have let someone else take care of the child. Like everyone else, I should have stayed back and prayed for the child's safety. But no. I had to be the one to jump when I saw the drowning child. Why? Because he reminded me of someone. Because the fear of losing someone his age held me hostage until I broke free and did what was right in my conscience.

I couldn’t just sit back and let him drown.

And look where it brought me.

It fucking fucked me up!

“Alright. I think I’ve got a solution,” Daniel said as he hung up the phone.

He walked over to where I was sitting and took his previous place at the table. "You need to get underground. At least for a week."

“Again?” The shock his words rendered me stiff and frozen to my spot.

“I’m sorry, Lizzy. I know this is harsh. But this is the only way. For now, I’ve asked the tech department to take down the video. But we don’t know how much damage has already been done. Sitting ducks here is only going to put you in more danger. And we can’t have it.”

Daniel knew about my situation and the people I was running away from. When I met him and Laura for the first time, they were kind enough to take me home even though I had nothing in my name. Not even an extra pair of clothes. I was homeless and had little to no money for the next meal.

Daniel was a cop and saved me from some street goons. But when he asked me for an address so he could drop me and mind his way, I had nothing to give him. He didn’t ask questions further. Drove me to his home, where his wife welcomed me with open arms. Despite my best attempt to hold back the waterworks, I broke down in front of them.

After a few days, Daniel enquired about my life. He convinced me that if I was honest with him, he would do all in his ability to keep me safe. I had no intention of dragging them into the shambles that was my life at the time. But he was stubborn to help me.

At first, I was curious as hell. Why would a person like him want to help a girl like me? But before I could pose the question, Daniel told me about his sister whom he lost a long time back. She had married the wrong man and by the time Daniel came to know how much abuse she had been going through; it was too late to help her out. She jumped off the roof to end her misery.

Daniel wanted to help me because he couldn’t save his sister.

The truth of his life got to me, and before I knew it, my whole life spewed out of me with no pause.

“You’re right,” I had to agree with him. He was a cop. He knew what he was doing.

"I'll let Laura know you'll be gone for a few days. She may try to get in touch with you. But you know what to do about it," he said, beckoning for me to turn off my phone until things calmed down.

“What about Joey? You know how he—”

"Don't worry. I'll ask Mom to stay with us for a little longer. She would be delighted to help Laura with Joey until it is safe for you to return."

I gave him a nod, agreeing with everything he was saying. We had done this dance before. Neither of us was stupid enough to think we’d be able to pull something like this for too long. The organization I was running from was much more powerful, with far more in-depth reach. Politicians and influential people were like puppets in their hands. These dangerous men were practically running the world these days.

"Alright," with a groan, I muttered and leapt up to my feet. "I'll pack my stuff then. How long do you think I'll have to keep my head down this time?" When I entered my bedroom, I took a small rucksack from the closet and began stuffing it with clothing and other things I'd need.

Daniel followed me into the room.

“A week maybe? That should probably do.”

Disappearing into the bathroom, he returned with my toiletries, tossing the pouch in the backpack with the other stuff.

“You know, I was thinking…” I paused to pull the drawer of my nightstand. Grabbed my wallet and checked the money inside. It seemed enough to last me for a week. But if the stay got longer, I might face some problems.

As if he read my mind, Daniel took out his own wallet and handed me a card.

I pulled my hand back as if that card had a live wire attached to it. “No. I can’t. I can’t take this.”

“Come on, don’t be silly," he said, taking my hand in his and slapping the card in my palm. "I'm not asking that you spend every dime. Simply keep it on standby and use it only when absolutely necessary. One, because it would save you from whatever emergency you land yourself in. And two, it would be easier for me to keep track of you that way."

Damn. He was too good at it. But I shouldn’t be surprised. He was a fucking cop for a reason. He was trained to deal with criminals and to think like them.

“Meet me at the back alley when you’re done,” with that, he walked out of my room and then out of my apartment.

I waited for the door to close behind his back. After I was sure he was gone, I sprinted across the living room until I was in the kitchen. I climbed up, dragged one chair out from under the little dining table I had, and opened the top cabinet. My sight was filled with several brown cartons. But there was one that stuck out. I stretched my legs and reached for it. I gripped it hard with my fingers and lowered it onto the kitchen counter top. There wasn't much time to get everything straightened up. So I just emptied the contents into a shopping bag and packed it into my rucksack with the rest of my belongings.

I tossed the now-empty box into a dumpster on my way to the back alley, where Daniel was waiting in his patrol vehicle.

For the most part, we drove in silence, my nerve endings crackling like a lit cracker. I couldn't help but sink into my seat and try to avoid everyone's gaze. As if he were expecting me at some roadside bend with those piercing, dark eyes. I wasn't sure what I expected him to do when he eventually caught up to me. Would he punish me for what I did? Would he still be angry despite the fact that it had been six long years? I couldn't decide what to think anymore. I really wanted to close my eyes and never wake up.

After what felt like a lifetime, Daniel parked the car in front of a lodge just outside of town. He reached for the glove compartment and handed me a white envelope after turning off the car. “It has the documents I used to book the room for you. Fake, of course. I had to pull some strings to get them this early. Anyway,” he slid his hand inside his jacket pocket.

"Here's the key." I took it from his hand. “Room 09. Once inside, make sure to lock it. And, under no circumstances, talk to anyone, especially someone who appears dodgy. You know what signs to look for if you're not sure."

I did. Daniel trained me during my stay in his home.

"I don't know how to thank you," I whispered, feeling awful for putting him through so much. He didn't have to go to such lengths for me. He didn't have to do anything at all. Yet there he was. For all I knew, he was endangering his own life for someone he barely knew.

“Don’t get killed. That’d be enough.”

His words sank deep into my bones. How could someone be that selfless? I didn't deserve his kindness. Or him, for that matter. My heart couldn't take it anymore, and while I probably caught him off guard, I didn't care and wrapped my arms around him. I cried like a little girl getting her first period.

Damn him and his good heart.

"You'll get over this, Lizzy," he said into my hair, his arms eventually wrapping around to hug me back. I liked how safe he made me feel. "Like you grew out of every hardship you've gone through. It's just a matter of time..."

For some fucked up reason, I believed everything he was saying. Even though I knew better than to hang on to false hopes. But the moment was too good to let such pessimism wash over me. I just wanted to believe that I deserved a better life than what Venice could ever offer me. That I was better off without him.

Daniel waved me the last goodbye before shifting the car into reverse and speeding away. I stood there for a moment too long, wondering how the hell was I going to spend a whole damn week inside a room that probably smelt like something died under the bed and in the bathroom.

My life couldn't get any worse from here, could it?

Or was it just wishful thinking?