Part 3

I had never been confident or cocky, or even really funny, but my personality changed the day I died, and I wasn’t afraid of anything anymore. I had a purpose and I would complete it, it was as easy as that. The gun and silencer had been a gift. So was the knife I carried on the inside of my boot. The biggest and most expensive gift I had received was my Kawasaki Ninja H2.

As I thought more about what I wanted to do, another thought occurred to me … somehow, I had to make money while doing this. So from that point on, after I had eliminated my targets, I also stole all their money, rerouting it through five different banks, and into an offshore account.

My mother was a doctor and she worked long hours. Sometimes I wouldn’t see her for two days in a row. When that happened, I would stop at the hospital, and sometimes, if I was lucky enough to catch her in a non-busy moment,  we’d have dinner or lunch in the cafeteria, and other days, when she was busy with patients, I’d leave a message for her.

It didn’t particularly bother me, since I was used to being alone. My mother, of course, had no idea what I did with my time, and I didn’t tell her. Not because I was ashamed of what I did, but because she wouldn’t have to lie for me later. The less she knew, the better for her if I was ever caught;plausible deniability and all that jazz.

After I killed Solomon White, it became easier and easier to do. I didn’t feel particularly guilty about what I’d done, but I didn’t feel elated either. It was a sort of nothing feeling, like taking out the trash; it wasn’t something you enjoyed doing, but it had to be done.

I planned everything meticulously, and I made sure to follow the rules. Clean up after yourself, never leave any evidence behind, and the most important rule, don’t get caught. I made sure to follow them, which was why I dug the bullets out after I’d shot someone. I wasn’t planning on getting caught.

I had made a list of what I had to do and possible ways of doing it. I had a set plan in mind, and when I told Thalia that I wanted to travel the country, she sort of freaked out. I couldn’t blame her, of course. She wanted me to have an education, to be more, but all I wanted to do was complete my list.

“No, Alex! What about college?” she asked me, right after I had told her my plan of taking a year off.

“What about college? There’s more to life than college, Mom,” I said to her.

“And how are you going to fund this little road trip of yours?” she asked me. I couldn’t exactly tell her that I had some money saved from the three jobs I had done in Montana.

“I’ll work my way across the country, and when I come back, we can talk about college,” I said to her. “A lot of people take a year off.”

“Did you even send in any applications?” she asked me.

“Yes, I did, and I got in everywhere I applied, but that’s not the point,” I said to her.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this! Your father would’ve been so disappointed!” she said to me. I hated it when she did that. I never knew him, and his disappointment didn’t have any effect on me.

“Yeah, well, he’s dead, so he can be disappointed wherever,” I said to her, but I should’ve rather kept my mouth shut.

“I’m disappointed then,” she said to me. I could hear the sadness in her voice. I knew she missed him, but I didn’t, and it was hard for me to have this adoration toward a man I never knew.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m going,” I said to her, and walked out of the kitchen and up to my room.

“Alex, I just want the best for you,” she said as she sat down on my bed next to me.

“What difference will one year make?” I asked her. I would go, whether she approved or not. I just didn’t want to leave when she was angry with me.

“I guess it’s not the end of the world, I have some money saved up–”

“I don’t want your money, Mom. I’ll be fine, I promise,” I said to her. Even when she was mad at me, she was still an amazing mother. I felt bad for omitting the truth, and some might say that was the same as lying, but I don’t agree. If she asked me straight out, I wouldn’t lie to her, but she hadn’t.

I loved her for caring, and it would probably break her heart when she found out what I did with my time and how I made money, but I would cross that bridge when I got there. I packed a backpack and lay in bed wondering about the first name on my list.

I was excited to get on the road, excited to start exacting my revenge. I would worry about starting to live my life when I was done. Hel could wait a little while, I would weigh enough souls for her appetite soon enough.

The next morning, at 4 a.m., and after more tears, I got on my bike and started the journey to California. I kept to the speed limit, although I wanted to fly down the road, but I couldn’t afford to get a ticket and have a record of me traveling. A speeding ticket was not on my to-do list.

That would just be stupid of me and stupid was the one thing I was not. I had a few different IDs and credit cards and incognito was the way to do it. I smiled to myself as I sped up a little. I thought about how this all started, and I guess, it really started that day I found Levi half-naked in our kitchen when I was supposed to be at school.

The trip from Boulder to Sonoma was almost 15 hours, if you didn’t stop for gas or the call of nature, and I figured I’d reach Sonoma at about 9 p.m. ‘Go be great, Alex,’ I said to myself, as I drove away.