Chapter 1

ADELINE

The test lay face down on the glass table like it was hiding from me.

I already knew what it said and still… I turned it over.

One line.

Again.

A shaky breath left me as I stared at it, my fingers tightening around the plastic until it nearly snapped. For a second, I just stood there, begging, praying inside of me that a second line would appear out of thin air.

It didn’t.

Of course it didn’t. As they said, wishes weren't horses.

Noah was watching me, I could feel it without even looking up.

He was waiting, counting and his gaze totally judging me like he couldn't wait to hear the obvious from me.

“It didn’t work.” I said finally, my voice quieter than I intended. It barely sounded like me. “It’s negative.”

Silence followed and it wasn't the soft kind. It was the heavy kind that pressed against your chest until breathing felt optional.

The corner of my eyes burned but I bit back down on my lips, fighting with everything in me not to let the tears roll out.

I was so done with crying. There were no more tears to give.

“Of course it is.” He said dryly, an offensive chuckle escaping through his lips, hurt and disappointment all accompanying it at once.

I looked up immediately, taking few steps to get closer to him, my beautiful husband.

Noah sat there, elbows on his knees, his jaw tight, his eyes colder than I’d ever seen them. Not sad. Not even disappointed, just tired like we had done this a thousand times over and he now knew what to expect.

“Noah, please don’t start,” I whispered quickly, panic rising before he even said anything.

“Just...just give me one more chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

My feet moved before my pride could stop me as I dropped to my knees in front of him.

“I’ll do anything, Noah. Any treatment, any doctor, we could even try the IVF thing, anything at all. Just don’t give up on me yet.” A flicker of sadness crossed his face as he stared at me with that warmness he used to always have.

And then it was gone within a second like he was trying so hard not to show any pity for me.

“Adeline,” He said slowly, “you’ve been saying that for five years.”

Five years.

The number hit harder hearing it out loud.

Five years of clinics, of prescriptions, of hope stitched together with fragile threads that kept snapping.

“You think I don’t know that? I know that baby, I do.” I snapped, my voice breaking. “I feel it every single day just as much as you do, Noah.

What I didn’t say, what I couldn’t say was the only thing that hanged just at the tip of my tongue.

YOU’RE THE REASON FOR IT. THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT, NOAH.

The memory came anyway. Cold and sharp as I remembered my self in the hospital room.

Two months pregnant just a few months after I and Carter had gotten married.

“We’re not ready yet. We can have a child later when we're both ready.” He said and back then, I believed him.

Back then, I thought “later” was a promise.

I didn’t know “later” would never come.

“I need an heir,” Noah continued, dragging me back to the present. “I’ve waited long enough, Adeline. You know I have and we talked about this. Don't make it harder.”

Something inside me cracked, the tears I had tried so hard not to let it roll out came spilling out the corner of my eyes.

“An heir?” I repeated, “Baby, it's not yet late. We can still have our child. And you love me. An heir can't possibly be all I am to you now.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But it is what you mean.” He reached beside him and picked up a folder.

My stomach dropped before he even handed it to me.

Dear lord, I knew what they were.

“You know I love you, Adeline. I do." He whispered, his voice finally cracking as tears rolled out and I grabbed his hands, "But please baby, please sign them." He pushed the divorce papers into my hands.

I stared at the papers in my hands, my vision blurring.

Divorce.

Just like that.

“No…” I shook my head, backing away like distance could erase it. " Noah, no! You don't want this, I know you don't. We love each other and— !”

"We do! And I swear to the stars I might always love you but that isn't enough anymore."

“Then let me fix it!” My voice broke completely now.

“Let me tell you something I should’ve told you a long time ago—”

But the words got stuck.

Because what if he didn’t believe me? What if he thought it was just another excuse?

Noah gently pulled his hand away.

That small, careful movement hurt more than anything else.

“I’ll be heading to work now princess. I might be back late." His voice cracked as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to my forehead, “Have them signed by then.”

And then he walked out.

I stood there for a long time, the papers hanging loosely in my hands while tears ran down my eyes.

Why?

Why? He clearly loved me. He was literally crying and yet refusing to change his mind.

I gasped trying to force air into my lungs. I needed air or distraction or something that didn’t feel like this.

Five fucking years. Do you know what that does to a woman? To hope, to break and to hope again, only to die a little more each time I was struck with disappointment.

My chest felt tight, my breath crawling out of my lungs in fragments. I needed something, anything, to hold on to. Memories maybe? The past had to mean something right?

I went back to Noah's home office to stare at our photo album from over the years. Only when reminiscing our past happy moments did I feel how much I had failed Noah.

Without thinking, I found myself in Noah’s office. Everything there was neat, controlled and perfect unlike me.

My gaze fell on the photo albums.

I opened one and there we were, smiling, with no care in the world for anything else.

My fingers traced the edge of one picture before a thought slipped in.

If I told him the truth, about what happened after the abortion, about what the doctor said, would it change anything?

“Yes…” I murmured. “He’d understand.”

He had to.

I quickly placed the album back, new found energy surging to me as I pushed it into the shelf, the impact knocking over a pile of files to the floor.

“Great.” I crouched down, rushing to gather them up.

Just then my phone buzzed and I almost jumped out of my skin for no reason. What the fuck?

Was it Noah? I quickly placed the files that had fallen over on the table and grabbed my phone, staring at the caller ID

Nova, my assistant? Really? Now of all time?

“Hey,” I said, forcing my voice to be steady. “Make it quick.”

“Wow. Someone sounds like their world is ending,” She replied dryly. Except she was actually right without knowing it, “Anyway, good news and bad news.”

“I’m really not in the mood—”

“Nikolai Rye Sterling is back.” I froze.

“And he wants to see you.”

“That’s both bad news.”

“I told him no,” Nova continued. “But umm, he doesn’t care.” I heaved a sigh, still arranging the files when I saw my full name on one of the white files.

“Tell him that I….” My words stopped, mid sentence, my eyes squinting as I peered at the file in my hands.

ADELINE SKYE KEATON.

My name, printed clearly across the top.

A strange unease settled in my stomach as curiosity pushed me to open it. It was a hospital report and besides, there was no harm in trying. Right?

Patient: ADELINE SKYE KEATON.

Uterine rupture confirmed.

Conception impossible.

My grip loosened and the paper slipped slightly.

“No…” I whispered.

My eyes moved frantically over the page.

And then I saw his signature right at the bottom.

Noah Daniels.

My blood ran cold.

Not because of what the report said but he knew? Already knew?

For how long exactly?

Every test, every attempt.

Every time he looked at me like I wasn’t enough, he knew.

And still chose to watch me try. He kissed me, told me we might get lucky next time and then proceeded to dump all the blame on me and all these while he knew?

My hand trembled as I pressed the file to my chest.

Noah Fucking Daniel! You bastard!